Donald Trump has banned transgender people from serving in the US military after he was left ‘distraught’ following a pussy-grabbing incident with what he believed was a female soldier.
The President was acknowledging the soldier with his standard pussy-grab greeting when he discovered more than we was expecting.
Left both shocked and angry, Trump headed straight to the White House to draft his new rules for the military and thoroughly disinfect his hand.
“No frank and beans where there shouldn’t be any frank and beans” read the first draft before his assistants got to work.
Shortly afterwards he tweeted his new policy in a three-tweet announcement so bereft of typos, mis-spellings, capital letters and exclamation marks that it could only have been written by one of the responsible adults on his payroll.
Trump supporters have welcomed the announcement.
Chuck Williams told us, “You can’t have the commander-in-chief unsure whether there will even be a pussy or not when tries to grab a pussy.
“Likewise there could be pussies in the military that he could grab where he wouldn’t even think to look for them.
“No, much better to ban transgender people altogether and ensure Donald can grab pussy whenever he feels likes it, with confidence and with impunity.”NT