Tuesday, 25 July 2017

News Thump

As Westminster begins its summer recess, the British people have once again lined the streets around parliament and waved flags jubilantly to give their beloved representatives a proper send-off.
Impromptu street parties were held, and nearly every household in Britain raised a toast to their elected champions.
Amanda Tinnock, a fishwife from Devon, said she hoped MPs could kick off their shoes and relax for the summer.
She went in, “They’ve done such great work lately. And that’s despite being busy campaigning for several calls to the ballot over the past two years.
“I love elections. That Michael Gove came to my door once and asked me about Brexit. Some men took photos then he used a lot of hand sanitizer and got into a car. Best moment of my life.”
But it was Theresa May that has captured the hearts of ordinary Britons.
Simon Williams, a coach driver from Croydon, said no Prime Minister in recent history has been more deserving of a three week hiking holiday in Italy.
“I hope she can get away from it all. I’ve had to cancel my usual week in Torremolinos with the kids because of the sinking pound, but we’ll be happy on a campsite outside of Skegness.
“The thought of our PM eating figs and bresaola in beautiful Alpine chalets will make us forget the rain on our heads.”
However, the festive mood was nearly marred by so-called satirists who tried to portray today’s politicians as self-serving and inept glory-hounds off to get their jollies while the nation suffers a state of permanent crisis.
NT

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