Drinking to excess in the middle of the day is perfectly acceptable if you have a burnt sausage in the other hand, according to a survey today.
Across the country, middle-aged men desperate for an excuse to crack open the beers at lunchtime have declared it perfect ‘bbq weather’.
“The sun is out, the lawn is mowed, and there are cold beers in the fridge – but I can’t just sit in the garden drinking like I’ve got some sort of problem, can I?
“No, the proper thing could be fire up the BBQ, chuck a frozen burger on it and then get absolutely shitfaced.
“Plus, who invites friends round to drink beer in the middle of the day – someone with a problem, that’s who.
“But if I offer them a badly cooked sausage they can drink like a bloody sailor and no-one can bat an eyelid.
“It’s great being British, isn’t it?”NT