Sunday, 18 June 2017

News Thump

The Sun
The Sun have insisted that a free press which prints unsubstantiated bollocks in order to sell papers and influence public opinion is the cornerstone of our democracy.
Scrotum-faced media baron Rupert Murdoch has defended his paper by describing its critics as “snobs” who want to “impose their tastes on everyone else”.
“The Sun is just saying what people who can’t be bothered to undertake any basic research are thinking,” he insisted.
“What people want is a paper that is written by cunts for cunts and is full of shit and tits.”
The Sun currently attracts over 1.5 million daily cunts.
Sun reader Simon Williams also defended the paper amid claims that its readership are a bunch of colossal wankers who resemble a stray dog enthusiastically eating vomit from a discarded kebab tray.
“I’m fed up with terrorist sympathisers forcing their loony left-wing political correctness down my patriotic throat,” he fumed.
“You can’t even scapegoat an entire religion without do-gooding bureaucrats wrapping up our bananas in red tape!
“It’s health and safety gone mad!”
NT

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