Further fallout from Britain choosing to leave the EU has seen threats of being kicked out of the UEFA European Championships in 2024, to be held San Marino (TBC- it's the only bid to date).
Mr Jancker Huffabitt, head of UEFA's legal team said that if the United Kingdom were not part of Europe, how could they be expected to compete in the competition?
He made no comment when asked how Australia were therefore able to take part in the Eurovision Song contest.
However, all is not lost as America has stepped up to the plate and offered a glimmer of hope by inviting the British Isles to take part in all their "world series" such as American football, ice hockey and baseball. In return for such favouritism England would be expected to field at least three American sportsmen in any future Ashes series, both at home and Down Under.
Theresa May was delighted by the American offer and gushed:
"Once more we are indebted to our great American allies. Who really needs Europe when we are so well looked after by Yankee cousins and their best ever president Donald "the Orangutan" Trump.
Of course taking part in sports we didn't invent or play will not be a hindrance in the slightest. Let's face it, we gave the world football and have never won anything since 1966 so to get white washed in their sports will not impact our fine athletes. We are used to losing and proud of it and the upside is that our travelling fans will not even have to speak a foreign language.
Donald has even promised English fans will not have to obtain a visa. They will simply have to forward a passport sized photograph to ensure they are Caucasian and a sworn statement saying they are Christian, white and pro-life."