The Government has pledged to immediately ignore new evidence that implicates board-level bankers and the Bank of England in the Libor-fixing scandal.
A recording of a phone call reveals that the Libor setter was pressured by his manager on behalf of the Bank of England to lower the Libor rate, something that has always been denied.
“This is obviously shocking new evidence that could implicate board members of the top banks and the Bank of England,” said Chancellor Phillip Hammond.
“As such we, as a Government, will not hesitate to completely ignore it and take no action at all against anyone involved.
“I am aware that, in the past, evidence such as this has taken months or even years to be completely ignored and I pledge to you all we will not make that mistake again, and instead, will be ignoring it immediately.”
Asked if it wouldn’t be more appropriate to investigate and prosecute everything involved, Mr Hammond was adamant.
“Good Lord, No,” he chuckled.
“We’re a Tory Government, that’s definitely not the sort of thing we’d want to get involved with at all.”
Mr Hammond was clear about who is really to blame.
“Remember, the Libor fixing scandal, like most things, is the fault of refugees and poor people.