Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Happening Locally

If only to get a gratuitous shot of Motorhead and the late Lemmy.

A 33-year-old motorist is in a critical but stable condition in Southend Hospital after crashing his car into the sea while trying to get Siri on his iPhone to play Ace Of FUCKING Spades by Motörhead. 
Shortly after 3pm on Monday afternoon, witnesses reported that Joel Punto’s white Fiat 500 sped off Southend’s Western Esplanade and flew into water close to Westcliff Casino.
An early investigation of the car’s dashboard camera footage has revealed that Joel was repeatedly trying to get Siri to play Ace Of FUCKING Spades by Motörhead on Apple Music – the voice-assistant kept getting it wrong to the point where he lost control of the vehicle in a fit of rage.
DCI Hobart Dicii said: ‘The footage has captured Mr Punto trying to get Apple Music to play the track through Siri, and in the end he has been forced to resort to just typing it in – this is when he lost control of the vehicle.’
‘He must have yelled ‘Hey Siri’ fifteen times before it kicked in, and when he asked for ‘Ace Of Spades by Motörhead’ it just kept playing ‘All That She Wants’ by Ace Of Bass.’
‘After the fifth attempt, Siri then told him that he might need an umbrella tomorrow in The Outer Hebrides, and at this point he very angrily asked for ‘Ace Of FUCKING Spades by Motörhead.’
‘Siri’s response of ‘Sorry I can’t do that while you’re driving’ didn’t help his mood.’
‘He tried again and asked for the song without the swearing, and as soon as his stereo started pumping out The Floral Dance by Terry Wogan the recording picks up a number of expletives and the sound of the car plunging into water.’

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