Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Carry On Up the Cabbie



A group of taxi drivers from Southend have been describing their SHOCK after discovering a mysterious ancient text. 
Cabbie Lewis Hamilton, 56, was browsing in WH Smith’s last Wednesday when he stumbled across the ‘baffling’ collection of scriptures, and after showing it to a number of colleagues he admitted that they are all stumped.
He said: ‘It appears to contain a number of bizarre illustrations and sentences but none of us can figure out what it all actually means – we have taken some images from it and sent them to the British Museum for analysis.’
‘We believe it may be some kind of religious scripture but it’s not clear.’
He then read a section aloud to our Chief Reporter. ‘Double yellow lines indicate a prohibition of waiting at any time even if there are no upright signs.’ We think this might be Ancient Hebrew or Aramaic or something.’
‘One of the other drivers has a degree and and he figured out that one page mentions some sort of stick that rests adjacent to a circular artefact, giving a divine indication to surrounding non-believers.’
‘Hopefully an expert will be able to shed some light on this.’
We showed the discovered texts to a number of local religious leaders, one rabbi was able to offer a limited insight.
Rabbi Herschell Merschell of Canewdon United Orthodox Synagogue said: ‘It is incredibly difficult to get a full understanding of these scriptures in their current form, but I get the impression that it is unwise to try and fit 37 people in a Ford Galaxy.’
SNN

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