Thursday, 16 March 2017

News Thump

Doctor Who to advise Theresa May on taking country back in time
The famous time lord has offered his assistance to the Prime Minister as she gets ready to set in motion the formal process for transporting Great Britain back to its pre-EU days.
The well travelled adventurer believes that the many years of experience under his belt in the field of time travel will be appreciated by Mrs May, whose only experience of time travel thus far is the fortnightly church tea party at her father’s vicarage.
The Doctor, who is originally from a planet called Gallifrey which is lucky enough to be free of both Tories and controversial referenda, told press, “As you know, I have a keen interest in the goings-on of planet Earth, and the last twelve months have been quite remarkable – albeit due to some severely ill-informed decisions by the voting public.
“So as Mrs May triggers the infamous Article 50, I have offered my guiding hand to assist her as she plunges Britain back in time by several decades.”
Whilst the Prime Minister is understood to have gratefully accepted the Doctor’s help, Brexit voter and red bus believer Simon Williams responded, “Oh great, another expert. Didn’t we make ourselves clear we’ve had enough of those?
“She may have vocally opposed Brexit before the referendum but the Prime Minister obviously knows what she is doing.”
NT

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