Friday, 10 March 2017

News Thump

Arsene Wenger and Piers Morgan
Arsene Wenger has announced that as long as he’s annoying the fuck out of Piers Morgan he won’t quit as Arsenal manager.
Monumental wank hamper Piers Morgan is an outspoken critic of Wenger, but the 67-year-old Frenchman insists Morgan’s unhappiness gives him the strength to carry on.
“I’d have quit years ago if it wasn’t for Piers Morgan,” he revealed.
“Contributing to the continued unhappiness of such a gargantuan piss wizard is my finest footballing achievement.”
Colossal toss helmet Piers Morgan reacted to the news by insisting that Arsene Wenger isn’t the Arsenal manager.
“You can’t say ‘manager’ anymore because of political correctness,” he said.
“You have to say ‘personager’ or you’ll offend the liberals who don’t know Donald Trump like I do.
“Have I ever mentioned that Donald Trump calls me ‘Champ’ and follows me Twitter?
“Cool, huh?”
Arsenal have announced that Arsene Wenger will remain Arsenal manager until either he or Piers Morgan dies.

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