Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Flat Headed Retards

I'm not quite sure why it seems that the majority of "famous" people believing the earth to be flat are from basketball, but there do seem to be a large number of them.  American football I could understand as they are constantly bashing their heads in, but basketball is hardly a contact sport to scramble the brains, is it?  Or perhaps one has to be brainless to play the sport in the first place?

Anyway, have a chuckle at the piece in Metro and enjoy the following "reasons" why the earth just has to be flat...

Oh, and if the north pole is at the epicentre of the flat world (see #5), where is the south pole located?  Or do they not believe that penguins exist either?

Here are ten reasons people believe the Earth is flat

1. The Earth looks flat – so it must be flat
Honestly, this is one of their reasons – and the main one cited by intellectual heavyweight B.o.B. in his recent meltdown.
2. It’s cheaper to fake journeys into space than it is to journey into space
And a global conspiracy has been embezzling all that money ever since the 50s
3. Satellite photos are ‘easily faked’
And the global conspiracy has been doing so for five decades.
4. ‘Day’ and ‘night’ are created by the sun orbiting in a circle above, then beneath the North Pole
The sun also moves sideways – hence winter and summer. They think of everything!
5. People who think they’ve flown round the Earth have just travelled in a big circle round the North Pole
The Earth is like a pancake, with the North Pole in the middle, see.
6. It all stays together because there’s a big ice wall round the edge
The oceans don’t spill off because there’s a wall of ice – called Antarctica. The Flat Earth society admit to being ‘curious’ as to what lies beyond this.
7. Gravity doesn’t exist
Instead, the Earth is constantly accelerating upwards, so the force of gravity is like being pushed into your seat in a car, see?
8. Earth is accelerating upwards due to ‘dark energy’
It all tallies with Einstein, the maniacs boast, as Einstein whirrs gently in his grave.
9. Photos from aeroplanes look curved because of the windows
… and satellite shots look rounded at the edge due to the ‘spotlight’ under the sun, which is only a few thousand miles up.
10. An experiment proved that a six-mile stretch of water was flat
Except it didn’t really. It was famously misread by previous Flat Earthers, who weren’t the brightest crayons in the pack.

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