Thursday, 2 February 2017

Pathetic

This post will contain ** SPOILERS ** for the final (and hopefully) last episode of Sherlock.

What a stinker.

Acting skills aside, this episode is so far up its own arse it reeks of anal cavity and is so stupidly inane it beggars belief.  As if the previous outing wasn't incredulous enough by revealing a third Holmes (a mental sister who is so clever she is a mental case and has been incarcerated in a maximum security prison for the past 30 odd years), this turkey tries to get us to believe that Sherlock, a genius off the Richter scale, doesn't have one single memory of her.

Or of his best friend whom he remembers as a dog, Redbeard.

We are also expected to believe the sister (Eurus) a six stone weakling has manipulated an entire prison to enable her to come and go as she pleases (private helicopter on demand), has met Moriarty (she spent only five whole minutes in his company to construct this plan four/five years into the future) and is able to kidnap people at will.  She is further an architect, a master builder, an electrician and top IT expert as she constructs a labyrinth of cells where she makes Sherlock, Mycroft and Watson play her evil games.

Of course she is a genius mind manipulator which is supposed to make us believe this shovel of shite.

The usual Saw puzzles ensue where morals are pushed into choosing whom to kill until we get the inevitable stand-off where Sherlock has to shoot either his brother or best friend.  Luckily he chooses to top himself to put an end to his/our misery.

Of course he doesn't and the agony continued.

The plane full of comatosed passengers and out of control, can only be saved by Sherlock who has to talk to a young girl on board via a mobile.  It turns out to be a simulator (guess who the girl is...) and it seems all his sister wanted was a hug from big brother to make things all right.  He hugs her but then learns she drowned Holmes' childhood bestie in a well which is where his new BFF Watson, is in the shit again- chained to the bottom of a well with the water level rising.

The game's a-foot as Sherlock saves Watson with a bit of rope (all reference to the chained foot now forgotten) and the sister ends up back in the Hannibal-esque glass walled cell.

Only this time she is allowed visitors in the form of her family (the parents took it rather well when they found out Mycroft had faked her death and had her locked up all these years...) with a version of Dueling Banjos on violins to play to the gallery making for the happy ending.

I wonder how they will contain her comings and goings in the future?  Have they confiscated her pilot's licence and grounded her helicopter?  Perhaps electro-shock therapy to remove her ability to mind meld guards to her whim; "look into my eyes, not around my eyes but directly into my eyes..."

Let us all pray that Moffat and Gatiss have written their final chapter and we can look back at mostly happy memories of the first couple of series and forget the later ones as self indulgent pap.

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