Friday, 17 February 2017

News Thump

Arsene Wenger
So long as you try your best that’s the most important thing, Arsene Wenger has told his team this morning.
“You’ll still get a trip to Wales this year when we play Swansea away,” Wenger told his players on the trip home, before telling them that football is just a game and the top sixteen is still something to be proud of.
As they’ve got less on their minds now, Arsenal players can concentrate on finishing fourth in the Premiership, he said with a brittle optimism.
Some of the Bayern Munich players were very big boys and quite rough, he added, before asking the coach driver to stop at the little trophy shop at the shopping centre so he can buy one for everyone.
“I think you deserve a trophy even if that silly referee didn’t,” he told Mesut Ozil, giving him a toy out of a Happy Meal.
“Let’s all go the cinema this afternoon and forget about that silly football. The ice-creams are on me!”
In related news, Wenger is understood to have received an approach from Islamic terror group Isis this morning, as they are looking for someone who can justify five years of consistent defeat.
NT

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