Saturday, 18 November 2017


Image result for funny happy birthday messages

Missing Feelgood and Southend

Still one of my favourite bands.

Word of the Day

plural noun: dotards
  1. an old person, especially one who has become weak or senile.

Smooth, Dude

By the Pussy

We seem to have many public figures in the media and politics being accused of sexual harassment at some point during their careers.  It's a difficult subject and one that will not find an easy solution.  However, if someone says:

"When you’re a star they let you do it. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

And that someone happens to still get voted in as the President, I wonder why we are all so shocked?  If this is the example that is set, no wonder we have unacceptable abuse of power in all walks of life. 

Well Said

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
US author & wit (1884 - 1980)

News Thump

US Navy pilots draw penis in the sky
Trainee navy pilots have apologised for any offence after being caught drawing a huge penis in the sky.
Using vapour trails, the pilots drew the gigantic member on a training flight – which commanders described as being ridiculously childish and having ‘no place in the military’.
When asked if they meant the picture or its subject the spokesman grew agitated and refused to comment further.
“We’ll be holding the crew accountable for this. Mark my words, they’ll get what they deserve,” we were told as several trucks pulled up to deliver crates of beer.
”The Navy does not condone using US assets for personal amusement or gain when there’s a serious job to do, and any slacking off on the job is beneath our contempt.
“Furthermore, anyone lying to cover their tracks does not deserve the respect of our servicemen.
“And we’re pretty cross with our pilots too.”

Memory Lane

We're currently looking back at some classic programmes and recently watched:

  • Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
  • Remington Steele
  • The Six Million Dollar Man
  • The Time Tunel
Still to come, we have Hawaii Five-O (original series), Land of the Giants and Abbott and Costello meet the Invisible Man (1951).

I think wifey is getting ready to leave me...

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus

Dead and Dead Again

I seem to get very little time to play on the Xbox and when I do, I seem to have the coordination of a new born foal and the reflexes of a sloth.  It's not the best way to prepare to save Lara Croft's arse and I have come to the point where I am getting the snot kicked out of within seconds as wave upon wave of baddie shoots the shite out of me.

I am really going to have to put in some practise at some point if I am going to get past this latest obstacle.


We risked the pool again as the temperatures are rising and the sun is now spending more time over the water to warm it up during the morning.  It's still a little sharp on first getting in but once wet, it is truly refreshing and fun.  It's going to be a fun winter coming up.


Our new condo management team are still continuing to put up "advice" notices which continue to state the bleedin' obvious or are quite frankly unnecessary or obtrusive.  Not content with that, they have just finished installing a new flat screen TV in the lobby, just above the lifts.

To show continually looped adverts.

But who is going to watch them when it takes but a few seconds for one of the two lifts to arrive?  What an expensive waste.

Instead, wouldn't their time be better spent on fixing up some of the stuff that is broken around here?  Like replacing the missing slats from the sun beds by the pool?  Or maybe getting our bills to us on time?

Product Placement

You will all know by now my pet peeve on Thai stickers and how you need to understand industrial arc welding to be able to remove even a fraction of the labels they put on goods here.

My other irritation is how they slap on cooking instructions directly over the label which are the cooking instructions.  OK, so the Thai folk are looked after but what about the ex-pats who still need a bit of guidance?  Couldn't they just place their guidelines to one side so both are visible?

And while on the subject, reduced goods have the new discounted price labels put right over the main label so you can't tell just what it is they are selling off cheap.  Again, put the sticker to one side so we can at least identify the goods.

Ta very much.

C & H

Friday, 17 November 2017


Say cheese? Victorians said "prunes" instead.

News Thump

Greggs sausage rolls
Any religion that promotes delicious pastry meat products is worth a second look, according to atheist groups this afternoon.
After Greggs put a large sausage roll at the heart of the nativity as part of a highly-criticised Christmas marketing campaign, non-religious people have claimed they’d be happy to look again at any religion where tasty snacks remain the centre-piece.
Atheist Simon Williams told us, “My personal belief when it comes to religion is that anything that can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence – which is why I don’t believe in any deity and consider all the sky fairies to be equally ridiculous.
“But I do believe in sausage rolls, I have seen them, touched them, and eaten them – and I have gathered copious amounts of evidence that prove their value to humankind.
“If more religions went about worshipping foods, I’m sure they wouldn’t be declining so rapidly.
“Personally, I’d go out of my way to attend a weekly meeting where all we did was worship kebabs.”
Greggs have apologised to any religious fanatics offended by the use of a sausage roll in their Christmas advert, but have welcomed news of a growing number of potential atheist customers.
A spokesperson said, “We genuinely thought putting a sausage roll at the heart of the nativity would delight the god-botherers. Who knew they’d be such snowflakes?
“But we’re not precious, if it hooks us a few more atheists into our stores, then we’re delighted.
“I reckon if we can get a few steak bakes down their necks we’ll have customers for life.”

This Made me Laugh

Germans decided against direct translation with these film titles - with some ridiculous results.
1. Straight in the balls - Dodgeball
Ben Stiller's fitness fanatic character from Dodgeball, White Goodman. Photo: DPA.
Germans certainly got straight to the point with this film. The German title, Voll auf die Nüsse, literally means “straight in the balls”. Apologies to anyone who doesn't want the plot of Dodgeball ruined for them. This 2004 film, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn, essentially revolves around people being hit in the Nüsse by dodgeballs.
"Straight in the balls" has a less heroic ring to it than the official title, “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story”. The film charts Peter LaFleur's (Vaughn) struggles to raise the money to save his Average Joe's gym by competing in unusually high-paying dodgeball tournaments, and taking a few balls to the nuts in the process.
2. I believe a horse kicked me - Animal House
The aftermath of a horse kick (not from National Lampoon). Photo: DPA.
Perhaps the strangest interpretation on the list as no horse kicking actually takes place in "National Lampoon's Animal House" and its depiction of American fraternity life. The film does however feature several horse-related incidents.
Animal House's German title, Ich glaub', mich tritt ein Pferd, literally means “I believe a horse kicked me”, but it's also a phrase expressing astonishment that can be translated as something like "well, blow me down".
The idea of a horse kicking someone is obviously just comedy gold in Germany. The John Landis-directed gross-out comedy, featuring John Belushi and an emerging Kevin Bacon, received mixed reviews when it was released in 1978, but has now turned into one of the biggest cult comedies of all time.
3. Die slowly - Die Hard
There's no rush Bruce. Photo: DPA.
The German translation, Stirb langsam, of the 1980s thriller that made Bruce Willis a household name doesn't really reflect its fast-paced content. But the death was so slow that 20th Century Fox decided to drag it out over a 25-year, five-part franchise.
The first film in this franchise featured beloved British actor Alan Rickman as maniacal German villain Hans Gruber, who definitely didn't die slowly after falling to his death from a skyscraper.
4. The unbelievable journey in a crazy plane - Airplane!
Photo: DPA.
Apparently the German translators of "Airplane!" decided that brevity is not in fact the essence of wit when choosing the title, Die unglaubliche Reise in einem verrückten Flugzeug.
“The unbelievable journey in a crazy plane” isn't the latest TV show your toddler is addicted to, but a very literal German interpretation of this 1980 American disaster comedy's narrative. In Germany, who needs suspense?
5. Twilight: Bite till dawn - Twilight
Photo: DPA.
The Twilight films, based on Stephenie Meyer's book series, were a phenomenon that catapulted Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to stardom as neurotic, vampire-human couple Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. The first film in the franchise that made vampires “cool” again came out in 2009 in Germany with the additional title Biss zum Morgengrauen or “Bite till Dawn”.
The German translators thought they were quite punny with this one. Biss means to “bite” while the similarly spelled bis means “until” so it could be read as “bite till dawn” or “until the dawn”. Maybe they'd just finished watching “From Dusk Till Dawn”. Either way, there must have been a big high five in the room when they thought it up.
6. The great crawling - A Bug’s Life
Photo: DPA.
Das große Krabbeln, or “The great crawling”, sounds more like it should be a low-budget horror film than an children's animation where an ant and other bugs struggle to fight off oppressive grasshoppers. But that's the decision German translators made when handling the 1998 Pixar gem “A Bug's Life”.
“The great crawling” in English does feature plenty of creepy crawlies though, including a thickly-accented German caterpillar called Heimlich whose subtle nuances are lost in the German version of the film.
7. The ice princes - Blades of Glory
Photo: DPA.
Die Eisprinzen, or “The ice princes”, isn't a long lost Hans Christian Andersen story being prepped by Disney as the sequel to “Frozen”. It's how Germans know “Blades of Glory”, the 2007 ice-skating comedy, starring Will Ferrell and Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder.
8. Dating Queen - Trainwreck
Amy Schumer plays Amy in the film. Photo: DPA.
For this 2015 comedy starring Amy Schumer, Germans decided to stick with an English title and simply called it "Dating Queen". Apparently the phrase was a more readily identifiable character trait for Germans than the concept of being a ''Trainwreck”.
There's definitely something about national stereotypes in there somewhere.
9. Revenge is sexy - John Tucker Must Die

Photo: DPA.
Germans were obsessed with sex in the mid-noughties.
Back in those days, Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit liked to refer to the capital city as arm aber sexy (poor but sexy) and when "John Tucker Must Die" came out in 2006 revenge was also, apparently, sexy.
Rache ist sexy, or “Revenge is sexy”, is another case of Germans getting straight to the point. They don't care about protagonists' names being included in film titles. They've only come to the cinema to see some sexy revenge.
10. A twin rarely comes alone - The Parent Trap

Photo: DPA.
Film-goers might wonder how German translators got from “The Parent Trap” to Ein Zwilling kommt selten allein (A twin rarely comes alone), despite the film obviously featuring a pair of twins, though they initially don't know about one another.
The 1998 film - which was then 12-year-old Lindsay Lohan's debut - is actually a remake of a 1961 film of the same name. Both these films are adaptations of Erich Kästner's 1949 German novel Das doppelte Lottchen(The double Lotties).
The Local

Headline of the Day

Germany tolerates men staring at breasts more than most, survey reveals

The Local

Taking the Piss

Just read the whole story and tell me this guy is not an opportunist.  What is the world coming to?


Well Said

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain(attributed)
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)


We here at ktelontour love the overnight train and have done a couple of budget journeys.  And if all goes to plan we hope to do the Trans Siberian Express in a few years time- but that's a subject for another time.

But this piece from TG had made for interesting reading and we'd certainly love to try it.  It's just a pity no prices are mentioned.

Computer-generated image showing how the club car will look on the revamped Caledonian Sleeper

Caledonian Sleeper night trains, connecting London and Scotland, have revealed details of a £150 million revamp, including en-suite cabins with double beds.

As well as double beds and private bathrooms for couples – at yet-to-be revealed prices – the carriages will also have wifi, hotel-style key cards and sleek new styling.

How the new cabins will look on the Caledonian Sleeper

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – flabulous

The Arse vs Spurs

Crunch time and I can't see us winning so I will settle for a draw and hope Man U bollocks it up.  Game kicks off in the early (12:30) slot tomorrow.

  • Arsenal haven't won any of their last six Premier League games against Tottenham (D4, L2) - their longest winless run against their rivals in league competition.
  • Spurs have won just two of their previous 32 league games away to Arsenal (D13, L17), triumphing 3-1 at Highbury in 1993 and 3-2 at the Emirates in 2010.
  • Tottenham have dropped 37 points from winning positions in Premier League games against Arsenal, the most by any side in a particular fixture.
  • The Gunners have claimed 10 successive Premier League wins at the Emirates. It is their longest winning run at the stadium.
  • Arsenal have won their opening five home games in a Premier League season for the first time since 2009-10. They last won their first six at home in 2007-08.
  • Arsene Wenger's side are unbeaten in 16 home games in league and cup since a 5-1 loss against Bayern Munich in March (W14, D2).
  • They could suffer back-to-back league defeats for the first time since August.
  • Arsenal have lost 10 league games in 2017, equalling their highest total in a calendar year under Wenger. The last time they suffered more defeats was in 1995, when they lost 14 times.
Tottenham Hotspur
  • Spurs have claimed just one away league win against last season's top six under Mauricio Pochettino, (D6, L9), claiming nine points out of a possible 48.
  • Pochettino has yet to lose a Premier League north London derby (W2, D4), although all three of his visits to the Emirates Stadium with Tottenham have ended in draws.
  • Spurs have 10 Premier League away wins this calendar year - no side has a better record - while their tally of 37 goals on the road is a league-high.
  • Defeat would mean Tottenham lose back-to-back away league games for the first time in almost a year.
  • Harry Kane has scored in all five of his Premier League north London derbies, netting six goals in total.
  • The only players with more Premier League goals in this fixture are Emmanuel Adebayor and Robert Pires, with eight and seven respectively.
  • Kane, who has 13 goals in his last six top-flight away games, can become the first player to score at least two goals in four consecutive Premier League away games.

Bon Voyage

After a couple of detours (left instead of right would have made all the difference coming out of the MRT station) we found the Train Market behind the Esplanade shopping mall and met up with Julie and her gang of pals.

A group of 10 with far too many names to remember, we had a right good laugh despite them choosing a bar that didn't serve Chang.  The Leo still did the trick and at THB 270 for three large bottles it was a good deal too.

The market itself is worth a visit during daylight hours as there is much to see and do, eat and drink and we will certainly re-visit when we have guests to entertain.

And it was really good to see Julie who seems to get younger year on year.  She and her posse have another fortnight to go before heading back to Goa for Christmas (they decided to tour Thailand for a month to avoid the monsoon season in India) but J will be back in the UK for the festive period to see family and friends.

Pack a jumper pet, it's going to be rather chilly in the north east...

C & H

Thursday, 16 November 2017


The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac.

Scottish Star Wars

As promised...

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – rip -one out

Well Said

The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.
Friedrich NietzscheThe Gay Science, section 191
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Team Eng-er-land

Team manager Southgate is waffling on that his new look side (which, let's face it was almost imposed on him due to injuries) have "succeeded in changing the wind of public feeling".

Really?  2 x 0 - 0 at Wembley has managed that?

Admittedly they were against the top two teams in the world, but they too would have been playing experimental sides and giving younger/new blood a chance to get a run out.

And then we go to the next two friendlies the FA have arranged in March next year.  Italy and Holland.

Both teams have not even qualified for Russia 2018...

Firefox Quantum

The all new, singing and dancing Mozilla web browser that is supposedly lighter, faster, smaller etc etc.  All I noticed where new-look icons that reminded me of Windows 10 but not much else.  As soon as I launched it this morning, I got the usual "please wait for updates, Firefox will load shortly" and then the same long delays before it did.

How can I upload the latest version yesterday and already there are updates?

Anyway, it's here if you want it.

Best Ever?

I have been struggling to find the right beef for this week's jerky and in the end went and bought Australian beef.  It is better than the home reared stuff but for jerky I'd much rather use the "made in Thailand" beef than the twice-as-expensive Aussie beef.

That said, it promises to be the best one yet and I am looking forward to sampling the results later today.

Meet Up

Julie unexpectedly got in touch a whole 24 hours before we are due to meet and confirmed we'll all be going to the train market.  That was fine as we know where it is and even though it's a 45 minute taxi trip, no big deal.

Then she says it's in another part of town up by the Cultural Centre which is a major ball ache to reach as it will be in the middle of rush hour and we shall need to use both the Sky Train and the underground.

Still, we haven't seen her in ages, her mates sound like fun and we find yet another "train" market in new surroundings.

I expect a late night and very little activity on here tomorrow.

How Long?

We tried accessing our email account in Germany via a cyber cafe and the usual security nonsense kicked in whereby we had to confirm it was us trying to log on and not some hacker.  To continue we had to enter a PIN but we had no way of getting it as we had disposable Slovene SIMs and so we had to abort.

The next time we logged on at a recognised source, we had all kinds of warnings, aggressive advice on changing passwords and plenty more hoop jumping.  We duly complied but almost a month on, every time I open up the Blog (linked to our email address) I am advised of "suspicious" activity and the need to check security settings.

It's all done and dusted many times over, I now wish they would leave it be.

C & H

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

This is Nuts

Aldi recalls nuts because packet doesn't warn that it contains nuts

Aldi have put out a product recall as they did not list cashew nuts in their ingredients and it may be dangerous for people with nut allergies.

The product itself is a packet of nuts...

UK Hits Back

The Germans have always had a Christmas advent calendar, indeed, my cousins brought one over for wifey this year.  It didn't take long for the UK to cash in catch up but this latest one is a corker as it comes from Greggs*.

But it seems their offering has given a few people the arse as instead of having Jesus feature, they have used a sausage roll.  Some delicate people have equated that as Jesus was Jewish it is offensive to therefore liken him to a pork sausage roll.  It's tenuous to me and far too sensitive as I wasn't aware that Jewish folk even celebrated Christmas...

Some sp at Metro

*Northern company with its HQ in Newcastle selling all kinds of pork pies, sausage rolls, pasties and pastries.

Cockney Star Trek

Tomorrow, Scottish Star Wars- I kid you not.

Well Said

Dignity comes not from control, but from understanding who you are and taking your rightful place in the world.
Gordon AtkinsonReal Live Preacher weblog, 05-01-05
Author of 

English DYKs

'Scuse American spellings and references, but still interesting.

1.There was no word for the color orange until the 1600s. And the name of the color came from the fruit, not the other way around.

2. If you write out every number in full (one, two, three etc) you do not use the letter B until you get to one billion.
3. A ‘moment’ is a measurable time – 1/40th of an hour or about 90 seconds. 
4. Checkbook is the longest horizontally symmetrical word in English. 
5. The earliest reference to baseball is in Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey from 1798.
6. Icicles used to be called aquabobs.
7. ‘Happy’ is used three times more than ‘sad’ in spoken English.
8. The word to described your cupped hands is ‘gowpen’
9. Eleven percent of the English language is the letter E.
10. ‘Enneacontakaienneagon’ means a shape with 99 sides.
11. ‘Spoonfed’ is the longest word whose letters are in reverse alphabetical order.
12. In written English, every 510th letter is a Q.
13. ‘I am’ is the shortest complete sentence in English.
14. A pangram is a sentence that contains every letter in the alphabet. E.g: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
15. The word swims is an ambigram as it reads the same upside down.
16. ‘Shivviness’ is an old Yorkshire word for the uncomfortable feeling of wearing new underwear.
17. A new word is added to the English language about every two hours. 
18. The longest modern word without a vowel is ‘rhythms’. There used to be a longer word ‘twyndyllyngs’ (meaning a twin) but it is now obsolete.
19. n auto-logical word is a word that describes itself like ‘unhyphenated’.
20. The combination of letters ‘o-u-g-h’ is pronounced nine different ways in English. Observe: ‘A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.’
Grumpy Sloth

News Thump

horoscopes bullshit
Horoscope peddlers are facing tough questions today after two planets aligned and absolutely nothing of note happened.
With Jupiter and Venus appearing in conjunction just before dawn yesterday morning, many believers in astrology had naturally assumed that all the best of their horoscope predictions, which strangely vary depending on which newspaper they read, would come true – only to be left bitterly disappointed.
Gullible simpleton Simon Williams awoke nice and early to see the phenomenon and to eagerly anticipate all the good things coming his way during such a special day.
He explained, “In one paper, my horoscope promised that I would meet a tall dark stranger on the day the stars aligned. And I’m pretty sure planets and stars are the same thing, so I was really looking forward to today.
“But all that has happened is that I went to work as usual and during my lunch break a tall dark homeless chap tried to sell me a Big Issue. Which I obviously bought to bring me good luck, but then I got instantly splashed by the number 19 bus.
“You know, I’m really starting to question if Astrology is as scientifically robust as it is widely thought to be.
“Unless of course my horoscope in a rival paper promised me an opportunity to be charitable to a stranger before being refreshed by unexpected water from an unknown source.
“Then I’d still believe it.”

Speaking of the WC

All you need to know about the forthcoming tournament at the BBC:

The World Cup finals draw is on Friday, 1 December in Moscow at the State Kremlin Palace concert hall at 15:00 GMT. You can watch the draw live on BBC Two and the BBC Sport website and app.
Teams will be seeded based on the October 2017 Fifa world rankings. There are four pots - each containing eight teams. Russia will be joined in pot one by the seven highest-ranked teams, with the next eight in pot two, the following eight in pot three and the lowest ranked in pot four.
No teams from the same confederation, with the exception of Uefa, will be drawn in the same group. A maximum of two European countries can be in any group.
World Cup pots
Pot 1Pot 2Pot 3Pot 4
Russia (hosts)Spain (8)Iceland (21)Nigeria (41)
Germany (1)Switzerland (11)Costa Rica (22)Japan (44)
Brazil (2)England (12)Sweden (25)Morocco (48)
Portugal (3)Colombia (13)Tunisia (28)Panama (49)
Argentina (4)Mexico (16)Egypt (30)South Korea (62)
Belgium (5)Uruguay (17)Senegal (32)Saudi Arabia (63)
Poland (6)Croatia (18)Iran (34)Australia (43)/Honduras (69)
France (7)Peru (10)/Denmark (19)Denmark (19)/Serbia (38)Serbia (38)/New Zealand (122)

2 x Draws

Team Eng-er-land kept the Brazilians out for a 0 - 0 and the Germans score on the 94th minute to also rescue a draw with a 2 - 2 at home to France.

I wonder which manager learnt the most?

Southgate:  "We couldn't get hold of the ball and keep it. Tonight we just showed resilience, guts and some outstanding defending and I'm incredibly proud."

Low:  "We played better in the second half after not everything worked so well in the first 45 minutes as we had hoped".

I'd rather be in Low's shoes but it all points to a decent world cup with at least half a dozen teams in with a good chance of winning.

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – andrexia nervosa

Any Time Soon

We have Julie and her pals marauding around Thailand at the moment and we're expecting to see them from tomorrow onwards.  Typically we will get zero notice and she will magically appear ready to party so best we get some R & R in now while we get the chance.  It's going to be a manic weekend.

Day Out

It's the first time wifey has been into town since we got back and we had so much fun we stayed out well over 4 hours.  A load of healthy exercise, a good old catch up with all the new refurbishments (MBK has been really smartened up and they have extended certain parts of the Sky Walk) plus some good shopping bargains.  What could be better?

Coming home to a lovely clean and tidy apartment- super job Khun Ayr.

Right Place, Right Time

In town we have a huge Big C supermarket and I was on the lookout for some decent beef strips to make this week's batch of jerky.  That mission was a washout but I did find three tins of Heinz Oxtail soup reduced in price from THB 120 to just THB 30.  I bought all three tins and had a real treat for supper last night.

C & H

Tuesday, 14 November 2017


Mark Twain was born in 1835, a year in which Halley’s comet was visible from Earth. In 1909, he said, “I came in with Halley’s comet…and I expect to go out with it.”

When he died on April 21, 1910, the comet was again visible in the night sky.

Said and Done

Vasco president Eurico Miranda, 73 – re-elected on a traditional values ticket, including: “Football is a man thing. That’s why I’m against gays and women.” Miranda denied “sad claims” he rigged the vote with a “suspect ballot box”: “This was all done with the greatest transparency, including the adding up.”
His other headline policy, set out in February: “I’m against gay referees. I’ve got nothing against gays, just fags, the flamboyant fags, all full of themselves. They’re going to be biased for the players they fancy.”
The second quote is spectacularly quite brilliant...


** Update **

Sorted the printer out without pfaffing about.  Just put in new cartridges and all seems well.  Shame about the black one, that was barely used but at least we can use the printer again.  😎


Following a debate up the bar, the above graphic shows there are indeed right wing biased news and media outlets.  We'll just blame the beer, eh?


Well Said

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
James M Barrie
Scottish dramatist & novelist (1860 - 1937)

News Thump

Putting World Kindness Day on a Monday in November is clearly the work of a spiteful twat, according to everyone today.
As the hashtag #WorldKindnessDay trended across social media, people everywhere have admitted that a miserable wintery Monday shortly after the clocks go back is literally the worst possible time to expect a random act of kindness from a stranger.
“Why isn’t this held in the height of summer, on a Friday?” asked just about everyone, including office worker Sharon Williams.
She went on, “At that point in the year I’m likely to be in a nice happy summer dress, I’ll possibly have a bit of a tan and will almost certainly have been in the pub at lunchtime.
“My mood will be at its optimum. There is literally no point during the entire year at which I’m more likely to be nice to a stranger than right then.
“But today? Well, I got up in the dark, had to scrape frost of my windscreen, sat on a packed train that was sufficiently delayed to ensure I got a couple of dirty looks as I arrived at my desk, and someone a few rows behind me in our harshly-lit office has the most disgusting hacking cough that is clearly on the verge of expelling a lung.

“And you’re telling me that today is the day you’re asking for a random act of kindness? Seriously? Right now I would count putting everyone in my eye-line out of their misery as the biggest kindness of all.”

Bunged Up

Our printer is gummed up.  With over three months inactivity the jets have become bunged up and it's proving to be a right pig getting it to print properly.  We've done all the obvious things but it is still not right and we're now having to consider trying to unblock the jets using an ammonia based, glass cleaner solution.

Apparently we have to remove the printer cartridges and then pour the liquid in, leave it for a while and hopefully the solution will break down the dried up inks.

I remain sceptical but we have no other option as we can't seem to find anyone around the area who can service a printer.  The other option will be to buy another printer and as they are cheap as chips, we may well end up doing that.

What a decadent, semi-disposable life we lead...

I Don't Get It

Our main laptop was running very slowly and some websites were hanging.  I also noticed the 'pooter was running very hot.  In the end I re-booted and for some odd reason, all is now well.  It's much quicker, now page freezes and it's also running far cooler.  Job well done, if I only knew why.

Something Has to Give

During our time away I managed to read a dozen or so Harry Bosch books.  Since our return I am barely 25% into the latest.  The reason is obvious of course, we have far too many options being back home from wi-fi to the swimming pool to our regular bar(s) to our DVD collection.

That said, I am trying to get in a couple of chapters a night wherever possible and the latest book (Echo Park) is definitely another good yarn.

Viz Bits

Green Shield Stamps


But we are being given stamps (and they're green) from Tesco-Lotus with every purchase on production of our receipt at a dedicated booth.

I have no idea how this system works but typically it will be the more you spend the more stamps you get but as to when the scheme stops or what we can swap the stamps for is anyone's guess.

In the mean time, our book is filling up quite nicely.

I Hate This

I am aware that "insinuate" has a double meaning but it is the first definition I side with:

1- Suggest or hint (something bad) in an indirect and unpleasant way.
with clause ‘he was insinuating that she slept her way to the top’
‘dirty, insinuating laughter’

2- Slide (oneself or a thing) slowly and smoothly into a particular place.
‘I insinuated my shoulder in the gap’

2.1- insinuate oneself into Manoeuvre oneself into (a favourable position) by subtle manipulation.
‘he insinuated himself into the king's confidence’

Oxford Dictionary

But I really dislike the current (American?) trend for using it instead of "ingratiate".  Yes, the meanings are subtly different but for me it just jars and I will continue to use ingratiate as often as possible.

(ingratiate oneself)

Bring oneself into favour with someone by flattering or trying to please them.
‘a sycophantic attempt to ingratiate herself with the local aristocracy’

Oxford Dictionary

Bye-Bye to The Azzurri*

Just read that Sweden have knocked the Italians out of Russia 2018 after a 0 - 0 in Milan last night.  It's the first time they have not qualified since 1958 and a tremendous result for the Swedes.

I'm sure all German fans will not be too upset by this result as Italy tend to be our bogey team and along with Spain, tend to beat us in the latter stages of the tournament.

*In case you've ever wondered why they are called this, it refers to the colour of their national shirts; sky/light blue.