Saturday, 3 December 2016

Sorted

The authors of the United Kingdom’s plan to leave the European Union have been revealed as an infinite amount of monkeys with an infinite amount of typewriters.
The monkeys have been typing away for just over 3 months now, after Theresa May decided a new strategy was needed.
However, the monkeys have so far only been able to write four words; ‘the’, ‘do’, ‘let’ and ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’.
A Conservative party spokesman said, “Hopefully, the monkeys should be able to write up a decent plan within the next few months.
“After having people sift through the tonnes of monkey crap covered paper, we might be able to string a few sentences together which lead to a high-quality, strategically-sound foolproof plan.
Despite the monkeys making very little progress to date, the party is confident that the plan will work.
The spokesman added, “We have a few members of the government working alongside them.
“Boris Johnson volunteered to work at a typewriter for a while, but all he produced was a page full of reasons to stay in the EU.
“He said it was just a thought-experiment, but he did seem awfully chuffed with it.
“The monkeys weren’t too impressed, however. One would imagine you’ve never seen a Foreign Secretary covered in an infinite amount of monkey shit?
“It’s really quite the sight.”
NT

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