Thursday, 15 December 2016

Just Two

The Proclaimers
Scottish sensations, The Proclaimers, have been left embarrassed after footage emerged of them turning back almost immediately into their long journey.
CCTV shows lead singer Charlie Reid lighting up a fag before saying, “Fuck this. She isn’t actually that fit.”
Fans of the brotherly duo desperately want answers.
“I’ve flown all over the country to see these bastards,” yells 54-year-old Brenda Hornton.
“I’ve literally travelled 500 miles many times over, and it turns out these shites have been lying to us all along. It’s just Chas and Dave for me from now on.”
Craig and Charlie Reid have refused to comment on the allegations preferring to focus on their upcoming commitments – turning on the Christmas lights at the Eastgate shopping centre in Inverness.
Their management has confirmed the brothers are definitely getting a lift both there, and back.
This isn’t the first time a singer has been left red-faced over their lyrics. It transpired R-Kelly doesn’t actually believe he can fly as he was recently spotted boarding a flight to Denver.
Similarly, Starship didn’t build the city out of rock and roll, it was bricks and mortar and a shed load of plywood. They didn’t even build it themselves, after hiring a Polish chap named Stan to do the work.
NT

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