Sunday, 4 December 2016

Downgraded

Following the deaths of David Bowie, Victoria Wood and Andrew Sachs amongst many others, it has been decided that Great Britain will be downgraded to simply ‘Britain.’
The new name will come into effect from January 1st, 2017.
“It is a shame,” said Simon Williams, minister of Greatness.
“But, if we’re honest, what have we really got that defines us as great anymore; some nice parks, Tess Daly and the man from the Go Compare adverts? It’s not really enough is it?”
“I don’t think that anyone’s saying that we’ll never be great again, and certainly, if we ever find ourselves once more home to mercurial talents such as Alan Rickman and Caroline Aherne then we can review the situation, but as the most popular celebrity in the country is currently Honey G then I don’t think we can, with good conscience, really refer to ourselves as ‘Great’ any longer.”
British citizens seemed sad, but understanding.
“Yeah, it’s a pity,” said Eleanor Gay.
“But I haven’t really felt like we should be calling ourselves ‘Great’ Britain ever since we gave the world X-Factor and Gordon Ramsey.”
The decision to rename Great Britain ‘Britain’ follows on the heels of the post-referendum decision to change the name of the United Kingdom to simply ‘Kingdom’.
NT

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