Sunday, 31 May 2015

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

Safe as Houses...

Myth: Helicopters will drop like a rock when the engine shuts down.
In fact, you have a better chance at surviving in a helicopter when the engine fails than you do in an airplane. Helicopters are designed specifically to allow pilots to have a reasonable chance of landing them safely in the case where the engine stops working during flight, often with no damage at all.  They accomplish this via autorotation of the main rotor blades.
Further, when seeking a helicopter pilot’s license, one has to practice landing using this no-power technique.  When practicing, instead of actually shutting the engine off completely though, they usually just turn the engine down enough to disengage it from the rotor.  This way, if the student encounters a problem during a no-power landing, the helicopter can be throttled back up to avoid an accident. Given that this isn’t an option during actual engine failure, it’s critical for helicopter pilots to practice this until they have it down pat.
A landing via autorotation is also sometimes necessary if the rear rotor blades stop functioning properly, no longer countering for the torque of the main rotor blades, so the helicopter will spin if the engine isn’t turned off.  Whether this happens and the pilot shuts off the engine or in the case of actual engine failure, once the engine drops below a certain number of revolutions per minute, relative to the rotor RPM rate, a special clutch mechanism, called a freewheeling unit, disengages the engine from the main rotor automatically.  This allows the main rotor to spin without resistance from the engine.
Once the engine fails or otherwise is shut off, the pilot must immediately lower the pitch, reducing lift and drag, and the helicopter will begin to descend.  If they don’t do this quick enough, allowing the RPM of the main rotor to drop too far, they’ll then lose control of the helicopter and will likely not get it back.  When this happens, it may well drop like a rock.  However, this isn’t typical because as soon as the freewheeling unit disengages the engine, the pilot is trained to respond appropriately immediately.
Exactly what the correct glide angle is to maintain optimal rotor RPM varies with different helicopter designs, but this information is readily available in the helicopter’s manual.  The glide angle also varies based on weather conditions (wind, temperature, etc.), weight, altitude, and airspeed, but in all cases a correct glide angle has the effect of producing an upward flow of air that will spin the main rotor at some optimal RPM, storing kinetic energy in the blades.
As the helicopter approaches the ground, the pilot must then get rid of most of their forward motion and slow the decent using the stored up kinetic energy in the rotors.  If done perfectly, the landing will be quite gentle.   They accomplish this by executing a flare, pitching the nose up, at the right moment.  This will also have the effect of transferring some of that energy from the forward momentum into the main rotor, making it spin faster, which will further allow for a smooth landing.  Because the flare will often need to be somewhat dramatic, the tricky part here is making sure that the rear of the helicopter doesn’t hit the ground. Ideally the pilot executes the flare (hopefully stopping most all the forward motion and slowing the decent to almost nothing), then levels the nose out just before touchdown.
Autorotation may sound like a fairly complex and difficult thing to do, but according to one instructor I briefly chatted with about this, it’s really not all that difficult compared to a lot of other aspects of flying a helicopter.  In fact, he stated that most students have a lot more trouble when they first try things like hovering, than they do when they first try a no-power landing.  Granted, this is partially because students don’t try autorotation landings until they are near the end of their training, so they are more skilled than when they first try a lot of other maneuvers, but still.  It’s apparently not nearly as difficult as it sounds and most of the problems students have just stem from being nervous at descending at a higher rate than normal.
You can see a video of someone executing a near perfect autorotation landing below:
Bonus Facts:
  • The word ‘helicopter’ derives from the Greek “helix/helikos”, meaning “spiral/turning”, and ‘pteron’, meaning ‘wing’.  This in turn gave rise to the French word hélicoptère and then the English ‘helicopter’. The word hélicoptère was coined in 1861 by Gustave de Ponton d’Amécourt.  The first documented instance of this term was in a patent application filed in April of 1861 in France for a steam engine powered helicopter, invented by Gabriel de La Landelle.
  • Before the invention of the freewheeling clutch, when engines failed on helicopters this would freeze the rotors, which of course made it so that the helicopter really would fall more or less like a rock.
  • The longest recorded autorotation was achieved in 1972 by Jean Boulet who was attempting to set an altitude record in a helicopter, which he did and which still stands today.  He managed to make it up to 40,814 ft. when his engine died due to the extreme cold (−63°C).  He then autorotated his way all the way to a nice safe landing.
  • Boulet had originally wanted to land his Lama helicopter on the top of Mt. Everest (29,029 ft.) to demonstrate its capabilities, but couldn’t get authorization to do so, so instead just decided to go for the world record in altitude in a helicopter, which he achieved as described.
  • There is actually a type of one seat, personal ultralight helicopter designed to fly using an autorotating main blade all the time.  This helicopter has an engine mounted on the back with a propeller, just like a regular airplane with a rear engine.  On top is a free-spinning rotor attached to no power source, positioned at a “pitched-forward” angle.  These craft take off much like a regular airplane, though usually not requiring nearly as much runway as the wind generated just from the rear engine is near enough to get the top autorotating blade to spin fast enough take off.  (I’ve personally seen one at an airshow take off near straight up with a head wind aiding it a little).  If the rear engine dies in these, they can be safely landed via the same autorotation method used in normal helicopters.

All Out

Children have announced that they intend to strike over the reduction of their pocket-money, in real money terms, over the past twenty years.
After balloting members of the child community, there will now be a 48-hour walk-out starting at 5pm on Wednesday.
During this period, children will not be adorable, will not play football with Dad, and will not make themselves available for cute Facebook videos of them falling off things.
“We have been pushed too far,” said children’s representative Ben, 6.
“For years, we’ve tried to maintain a frank and open negotiation with parents over the pocket-money issue, only to be told that ‘if you want any extra, you’ll have to help out more,’ or ‘you’ll have to learn to save more,’ and most galling of all, ‘that’s more than I got when I was your age’ – when, if you adjust for inflation, it’s clearly not.”
“In real-terms we’ve been taking cuts year on year for far too long.”
“So, it is with great regret that we find ourselves having to take industrial action,” he continued before farting, covering his face with his hands and having a giggling fit.
However, it is understood they have abandoned their demands for discretionary ice-cream and sweets for going with Mum on the big-shop.


Itsy Bitsy

When you squeeze into your Speedo, you’re not just baring your skin—you’re celebrating centuries of technological breakthroughs.
Sicilian mosaics depict women wearing bikini-like outfits to exercise, but all Roman swimming is done in the nude.
Women hit the beach in long formless smocks that hide their shapes. Some women sew lead weights in their hems to make sure the fabric doesn’t rise and offer a scandalous glimpse of their calves.
English waters ban men from swimming in the buff, giving rise to the striped knit bathing costume.
Ladies begin splashing around in baggy flannel pants over loose flannel dresses.
The first recorded “bathing beauty” pageant is held in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Thomas Edison is a judge!
Australian synchronized swimmer Annette Kellerman appears in Boston wearing a saucy formfitting one-piece suit with a high neck, knee-length shorts, and short sleeves. She is promptly arrested for indecent exposure. Kellerman counters, “I can’t swim wearing more stuff than you hang on a clothesline.” A judge agrees that she needs a suit that offers “unrestricted movement when swimming.”
Australian Fanny Durack wears just such an unrestricted suit while breaking the 100-meter world record and winning the first ever gold in women’s Olympic swimming. The fashionable Durack goes on to become the female Michael Phelps of her day; at one point, she held the women’s world record in every event from the 100 meters to the mile.
The first edition of what will become the Miss America Pageant takes place in Atlantic City. Since illustrators are thought to have inside knowledge of the human form, Norman Rockwell judges the swimsuit competition in the 1920s.
French auto engineer and fashion designer Louis Reard crafts a revealing new two-piece suit he dubs the “bikini” after Bikini Atoll, site of many nuclear tests. When no models will agree to wear his creation for its debut, Reard is forced to hire an exotic dancer from a Paris casino. The dancer, Micheline Bernardini, briefly becomes as famous as the swimsuit and receives 50,000 pieces of fan mail.
Speedo debuts its infamous tiny racing trunks while sponsoring the Australian swim team at the Melbourne Olympics. Powered by their skimpy suits, the Aussie men take five of six swimming golds.
Brigitte Bardot popularizes the bikini during the Cannes Film Festival, but it takes a few years for the craze to catch on. In the U.S., Modern Girl magazine dismisses the trend, writing, “It is hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini since it is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing.”
Sports Illustrated debuts its swimsuit issue. Adolescent boys’ interest in long-form sports journalism suddenly spikes.
Jodie Foster makes her acting debut as the Coppertone baby.

The first written instance of “skinny dipping” makes a surprisingly late entry into the English language.
Bangalore, India, hosts the Miss World pageant, but local outrage forces the swimsuit competition to be held in the Seychelles instead.
The Miss America Pageant changes its swimsuit rules to ban string bikinis and thongs.
Sick of seeing half-naked tourists, Barcelona bans bikinis on streets that aren’t adjacent to the beach. Violators face a 300-euro fine.

Double Dilbert

Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Who Can Insult The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

They Don't Make Them Like This Anymore


Here's the story of a lovely lady, a man named Brady who could've been played by Gene Hackman, six kids, a wacky housekeeper, and how a series that started as a typical formulaic sitcom grew into a syndicated monster. Here are 16 things you might not know about The Brady Bunch.


“It's very rare that a writer knows exactly where his ideas come from,” producer Sherwood Schwartz once said. “However, in the case of The Brady Bunch, I know exactly what inspired that show. It was just a four-line filler piece in the Los Angeles Times. Just a statistic. It said that year, 1965, 31 percent of all marriages involved people who had a child or children from a previous marriage. It was just a statistic, but to me it indicated a remarkable sociological change in our country. Thirty-one percent is approximately one-third of all marriages. That's a huge statistic.”
It gave him an idea for a TV series called Yours and Mine. He shopped his script to the three major networks but was turned down each time. Three years later, United Artists released a film called Yours, Mine and Ours, starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda, which told the story of a widow with eight children who married a father of 10. The film did well at the box office, and suddenly ABC was interested in Schwartz’s script, which was then called The Bradley Brood.


When casting the six Brady kids, Schwartz wasn’t yet sure what the parents would look like (as those actors hadn’t yet been hired), so his goal was to have a total of 12 child actors in reserve: three blonde girls, three blonde boys, three brunette girls, and three dark-haired boys. (It was presumed from the get-go that the parents would have contrasting hair colors, and that their offspring’s locks would correspond likewise.) “As a consequence, to this day, there are three dark-haired girls and three blonde boys about 45 to 50 years old somewhere in the world who might have been The Brady Bunch kids,” Schwartz said in Brady, Brady, Brady: The Complete Story of the Brady Bunch As Told by the Father/Son Team Who Really Know. “And they are just finding that out if they're reading this book.”
Naturally strawberry blonde Mike Lookinland was Schwartz’s first choice for the role of youngest son Bobby, but when brown-haired Robert Reed was cast as the dad, Lookinland had to endure his hair being dyed a variety of colors so that it looked appropriately dark under the harsh studio lights. Susan Olsen, who played Cindy, was naturally blonde, but not light enough to suit the producers. Olsen’s hair was regularly bleached to give her that adorable towhead look on-camera. Unfortunately, the process eventually caused clumps of Susan’s hair to fall out during season two. She tearfully presented her case to head honcho Schwartz, who immediately ordered the staff to leave Cindy’s hair alone.


Susan Olsen’s endearing real-life lisp was incorporated into the episode “A Fistful of Reasons,” in which mean ol’ Buddy Hinton teased her with that age-old playground taunt “Baby talk, baby talk, it’s a wonder you can walk.” Olsen worked regularly with a speech therapist until the age of 19 and ultimately underwent surgery to help correct her “lazy S.”


For the role of Mike Brady (the family’s surname had changed by this time), “there were a number of men I wanted to interview, including Gene Hackman,” recalled Schwartz in Brady, Brady, Brady. “Paramount wouldn’t even okay Gene Hackman for an interview because he had a very low TVQ. (TVQ is a survey that executives use to determine the audience’s familiarity with performances. TV executives have don’t admit to the existence of TVQs, but it is commonly employed in casting.)”
They finally chose Reed because he was already under contract to Paramount, and he had a certain amount of marquee value because of his co-starring role on the popular legal drama series The Defenders. “The year after The Brady Bunch debuted, unknown Gene Hackman with no TVQ starred in The French Connection and won the Academy Award for Best Actor, and has been a major star ever since,” added Schwartz.


Comedic actress Joyce Bulifant was so close to inking a contract to play Mrs. Brady that she was used in most of the screen tests with the various child actors for their auditions. In fact, one of the reasons Eve Plumb landed the role of Jan was because of her physical resemblance to Bulifant. Originally, Schwartz envisioned Mrs. Brady as a wacky mom-type, much like Lucille Ball in Yours, Mine and Ours. But the cast dynamics changed when Emmy Award-winning actress Ann B. Davis signed on to play housekeeper Alice. Davis’ Alice would more than fulfill the wackiness quotient, and a more grounded, down-to-earth mother was required to maintain a balance. Texas-born musical theater star Florence Henderson got the job, and Joyce Bulifant went on to a successful career of her own, including playing Murray’s wife on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.


Florence Henderson, who wore a wig during the first season of the show because her hair had been cropped short for her recent starring role in an off-Broadway revival of South Pacific, was wrapping up filming on Song of Norway in Denmark when she received word that The Brady Bunch pilot had sold. “And so they started the show without me,” Henderson told NPRin 2014. “They did six episodes without me and then I filled in when I got back to the States.”


Like many teens in the 1970s, Williams—who played eldest brother Greg—was known to occasionally partake in some illegal substances while hanging out with his friends. After sparking up one afternoon on his day off, Williams received a call from the studio that certain scenes of the “Law and Disorder” episode needed to be re-shot. Barry dutifully reported to the set, but it became obvious to all present that something was not quite right with Greg Brady. Aside from his stumbling over nothing in the driveway, there was a glazed look in his eyes and a stilted delivery of his few lines regarding Dad’s purchase of a boat that tipped the producers off and caused furious rewrites to reduce Greg’s part in this episode. “I went through a stage of experimentation as a kid,” Williams wrote on his blog. “I certainly never went to the set high again but I don’t like weed. It makes me feel dumb, paranoid, and hungry.”


In his book, Growing Up Brady, Barry Williams wrote that he and Maureen McCormick shared their first kiss while in Hawaii filming a three-episode story arc during the show’s fourth season. Their relationship was at its hottest and heaviest around the time they filmed the final episode of that season, “A Room at the Top.” The scene where Marcia and Greg were sitting on her bed together arguing over who should get the attic room took hours to film, as the director kept having to yell “cut” due to the actors getting too cozy on camera. Lloyd Schwartz finally had each actor make a fist and place it between them as they sat on the bed and instructed them to maintain that amount of distance from each other at all times during the scene.
In Brady, Brady, Brady, Lloyd Schwartz mentions that he tried to cool things down between Barry and Maureen mainly because on-the-job romances rarely worked, especially between teenagers. If they had a traumatic breakup, how would they be able to continue to work together? Part of his strategy was to appeal to Barry’s vanity and flatter him, telling him that he was too young and too good-looking to limit himself to one girl.


Barry Williams, Mike Lookinland, and Maureen McCormick were all excellent vocalists, while Eve Plumb and Susan Olsen could both carry a reasonable tune. Christopher Knight, on the other hand, is the first to admit that his pipes were a bit on the rusty side. When asked to cite the most embarrassing thing he ever did on the show by The Improper BostonianKnight didn’t hesitate in responding: “Singing, by far. It was traumatic.” Knight was encouraged to lip-synch while the other kids sang in the musical episodes. It was decided, however, that his lack of vocal prowess could be played for laughs in the “Dough-Re-Mi” episode; Peter’s voice had begun to change, and Greg incorporated his cracking and squeaking into the song “Time to Change.” But poor Chris couldn’t even manage to hit the wrong notes properly, and his lines in the song were actually dubbed by producer Howard Leeds. “That whole episode where my voice changing was them just pointing out that I couldn’t sing,” said Knight. “My first experience with depression was that week.”


Eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed something odd about the Jack and Jill bathroom the Brady kids shared: It was missing a toilet. Television networks still had strict rules about showing a porcelain toilet bowl onscreen during the Brady years. In order to avoid costly tricky camera angles, the producers opted to forego a commode altogether in the bathroom shared by the kids. (The tank portion of the toilet was acceptable, as seen on the “Captain Jack” episode of Leave It To Beaver in 1957.)


While Mike Brady was painted as a widower, Carol’s pre-Brady marital status was a bit of a mystery. Sherwood Schwartz has said in several interviews that his intention was for Carol to have been a divorcee (her maiden name was “Tyler” and her married name was “Martin,” as revealed in the pilot episode). But divorce was still considered to be taboo for primetime television (especially for a family-friendly show), so the fate of Mr. Martin was always left a mystery … until recently. After nearly five decades of being asked what happened to Carol Brady’s first husband, Florence Henderson now prefers to tell interviewers (jokingly, we hope) that she killed him.


According to Lloyd Schwartz, Christopher Knight was unable to hit his target when filming the crucial football-tossing scene in “The Subject Was Noses” (a.k.a. the “Oh, my nose!” episode). So Schwartz stepped in off-screen, threw a perfect spiral, and pegged Maureen’s nose with the pigskin in one take.


One evening after filming had finished for the day of the episode entitled “Katchoo” (in which Jan appears to be allergic to the family dog), Tiger’s trainer let the pooch out on the Paramount lot for his daily exercise. Unfortunately, a careless driver didn’t see the dog andTiger was hit and killed. The frantic trainer spent the rest of the night scouring animal shelters looking for a reasonable facsimile of the shaggy canine, since he still had several scenes left to film. The replacement dog looked enough like Tiger to fool the cast and production staff, but the jig was up when he wouldn’t follow directions and was frightened by the noise and lights. The only way the director got Fake Tiger to hold stay in place during the emotional scene where the boys were bidding him a tearful farewell was to nail his collar to the floor.


The Brady Bunch was never a huge Nielsen hit during its original run; in fact, it never managed to crack the Top 30 shows. But it did well enough to run for five seasons, which gave Paramount enough episodes to sell as a package for syndication. The syndicated reruns were often shown in the late afternoon, which gave it more exposure to a younger audience. As a result, the show’s fan base grew exponentially after it had ceased production, and continues to grow today as each younger generation discovers it.


Like most shows of that era, no one who worked on The Brady Bunch thought that the show would still be airing regularly over 40 years later after it had been cancelled. So sometimes little mistakes were left unfixed in the name of finishing an episode on schedule. After all, the show aired in the days before every home had a VCR, so who would notice something like the family leaving the house in a convertible and returning from the same errand in a station wagon? Or Jan’s hair mysteriously switching from a ponytail to loose around her shoulders repeatedly while the kids were building a house of cards? Those flubs and others—like a tired Susan Olsen sticking her tongue out as she exited a scene, thinking it was still a rehearsal—have become part of the show’s legend thanks to syndication, DVRs, and viewers with too much time on their hands.


 During the final season of The Brady Bunch, the Brady family generously relinquished most of a 30-minute episode in order to introduce their neighbors, Ken and Kathy Kelly (portrayed by Ken Berry and Brooke Bundy). The Kellys had adopted three boys—Matt, Dwayne, and Steve—who’d been best friends at the local orphanage. The twist was that one of the boys was white (and was also Mike Lookinland’s real-life brother), one was African-American, and one was Asian-American. Sherwood Schwartz had hoped that this backdoor pilot would be picked up as a series, since the networks had recently announced that they were pushing “prime time” forward half an hour to begin at 7:30 p.m. and they would be in need of some family-friendly programs. But Kelly's Kids didn't happen.

Sunny Side Up

Strike action this summer
Forecasts of pleasant, sunny weather have increased the threat of industrial action, meteorologists warned today.
The warm front from Europe is expected to bring several weeks of warm days which will be ideal for spending time in the garden or protesting workplace grievances, especially on a Friday or Monday.
The RMT has already ramped up anti-government rhetoric, threatening one and two-day walkouts over working conditions to coincide with Heineken going on sale at Tesco, the release of Mortal Kombat X, and Trooping the Colour.
“This action is both necessary and reasonable,” said an RMT spokesman.
“A strike vote has given a massive mandate for staying at home with a beer and a paddling pool in the garden for a few days and if you’ve got any sense you’ll do the same,” he added.
Meanwhile several months of weather described as ‘potentially scorching’ without a single bank holiday weekend has led to further threats of continued industrial action.
People are also warned that if they think things will be bad in Britain, they shouldn’t try doing anything at all in France between now and September.
However, not all industrial action has been welcomed by the TUC.
Threats of a walkout by hammock and deckchair manufacturers were described as ‘utterly unacceptable’ by a spokesman.

Viz Bits

Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 11.14.31

Catching Up

After years of debate, Austria's government has announced plans to introduce a total smoking ban in cafes and restaurants by 2018.

Anti-smoking groups say that is too long to wait, but there have been protests by some restaurant owners, who say their business will suffer.

More at the BBC


Equations are the devil's sentences.
Stephen ColbertThe Colbert Report

Many Thanks

To Did You Know whom we have been using for our own series of DYK?s.  After a massive 1 370 nuggets of factual goodness, the well has run dry and we have to move on to find a new source to carry on our tradition of supplying you with pub knowledge.




One over the eight


The final drink that renders someone drunk.


This originated as UK military slang. The first reference to it in print is in Fraser and Gibbons' Soldier & Sailor Words, 1925:
"One over the eight, one drink too many. Slightly intoxicated, the presumption being that an average 'moderate' man can safely drink eight glasses of beer."
After a gallon of beer 'slightly intoxicated' seems a bit of an understatement. Beer was weaker in the 1920s than it is now, but even so.

The Phrase Finder

Later Today

Looking forward to this race:

Ducati Team's Andrea Iannone delights Italian fans as he claims his first ever MotoGP™ pole position at the Gran Premio d’Italia TIM.
Iannone set a new pole record of 1’46.489, the fastest ever time recorded by a motorbike around the 5.2km Autodromo del Mugello, as he claimed pole position in front of his home fans. Movistar Yamaha’s Jorge Lorenzo (+0.095s) was second fastest, and will act as the Yamaha filling in a Ducati front row sandwich, as Andrea Dovizioso (+0.121s) qualified in third.
CWM LCR Honda’s Cal Crutchlow (+0.168s) will start from the head of the second row in fourth, ahead of Aleix Espargaro (+0.365s) on the Team Suzuki Ecstar GSX-RR in fifth, and Ducati Team wild card Michele Pirro (+0.381s) in sixth. Dani Pedrosa (Repsol Honda), Valentino Rossi (Movistar Yamaha), Maverick Viñales (Team Suzuki Ecstar) and Pol Espargaro (Monster Yamaha Tech 3) complete the top ten.
Monster Yamaha Tech 3’s Bradley Smith qualified in 11th, while Scott Redding on the Estrella Galicia 0,0 Marc VDS Honda will start from the middle of the sixth row in 17th. Reigning World Champion marc Marquez will start from 13th on the grid having failed to make it through from Q1 in dramatic fashion, while Hector Barbera will start from the back of the fifth row as the leading Open class rider in 15th.
Check out the full MotoGP™ Qualifying results, the 23-lap race starts at 14:00 local time in Mugello on Sunday.

Viz Bits


What a Great Man...

"I am the president now, the president of everybody," said Sepp Blatter after winning a fifth term as head of Fifa.
Yet that was far from the strangest thing he has said during his 17-year stint as president.
Blatter's reign at the top of world football's governing body has been marked by controversy - and his re-election has come with Fifa embroiled in corruption allegations.
The 79-year-old, though, has never been shy to air his views, as BBC Sport investigates by looking back at some of his most notable comments.

'Let women play in tighter shorts'

"Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts.
"Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men - such as playing with a lighter ball.
"That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?"
Blatter's suggestion for increasing the popularity of women's football, January 2004

'I could understand if match-fixing had happened in Africa'

"I could understand it if it had happened in Africa, but not in Italy."
Blatter, speaking to La Gazzetta dello Sport in March 2006  as a match-fixing scandal came to light in Italy's top two divisions.

'Some countries would have applauded Terry'"Listen, this is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in, let's say, Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded."

Blatter tells the Press Association in February 2010  that John Terry should not have been sacked as England captain amid allegations - subsequently revealed to be untrue - of an extramarital affair.

'Gay fans in Qatar should refrain from sex'

"I'd say they should refrain from any sexual activities."
Blatter, asked in December 2010 if he foresaw any problems for gay fans travelling to the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, where homosexuality is illegal.

'On-field racism can be resolved with a handshake'"There is no racism [on the field], but maybe there is a word or gesture that is not correct.

"The one affected by this should say 'this is a game' and shake hands."
Blatter, speaking to CNN in November 2011, after the Football Association charged Luis Suarez with racially abusing Patrice Evra during a Premier League game between Liverpool and Manchester United. The Fifa president later said his comments had been misunderstood.

'You always speak at home'"Say something, ladies. You are always speaking at home, now you can speak here."

Blatter addresses the Fifa Congress in Mauritius as the first woman is appointed to its executive committee in May 2013. 

'Uefa want to get rid of me'

"They want to get rid of me. All this opposition is coming now, it's unfortunate to say it, it's coming from Nyon, from Uefa. They don't have the courage to come in. So let me go [on] -- be respectful!
Blatter tells CNN in January 2015  that he believes Uefa is behind a campaign to remove him from the presidency.

'I am the godfather of women's football'

"Women's football is definitely my […] baby. I consider myself a little bit, as the godfather of women's football in Fifa."
Blatter gives an interview to the BBC in May 2015.

'I am a mountain goat'"I am a mountain goat that keeps going and going and going, I cannot be stopped, I just keep going."

Blatter explains the secret of his longevity  to Swiss newspaper NZZ a few days before he is re-elected for a fifth term.

'Timing of arrests is questionable'

"It's not good for all this to emerge just two days before the Fifa presidential elections.
"I'm not going to use the word coincidence, but I do have a small question mark."
Blatter's reaction  at the Fifa Congress on Thursday after seven officials were arrested on charges of receiving bribes.

'I forgive, but I don't forget'"I forgive everyone but I don't forget. We cannot live without Uefa and Uefa cannot live without us."

Blatter's response to Swiss television on Friday, after Uefa president Michel Platini refused to rule out a World Cup boycott in the event of his Fifa counterpart's re-election.