Inappropriate Apps

 iAmAMan: a period-tracking iPhone app for men

An app released in 2008 called iAmAMan may be the most inappropriate ever. It keeps track of your girlfriend's menstrual cycle — but that isn't necessarily the bad part — it's that it keeps track of menstrual cycles for the several girlfriends in your life. I'm not sure where to begin, so let me just paste the information about the app below in its own words:

“I am a Man” will help you with your private life planning. You will know about your girlfriend's period and her mood. You can plan your dates, evenings and save some money.
But that's not all! You can add several girls. The program helps to avoid misunderstandings and preserve your relationships. 

My favorite part may be the cunningness of the application. Each girl has a different password so if one hacks your iPhone, she won't see another girl's menstrual cycle on your calendar. (Via)

 PhantomAlert: an app that helps you commit crimes

Wanna commit a crime? There's an app for that! No, seriously. There are apps that display a fake Driver's License, let you avoid DUI checkpoints, and more.

A new piece of software called Phantom Alert claims to add warnings for hidden police cameras and DUI checkpoints right into your GPS system. Phantom Alert provides 100,000 “enforcement locations,” its maker says, and then sends you a warning before you hit any of those areas. (Link | Via)

 The Stalqer: an app that lets you stalk your co-workers

The Stalqer (pronounced stalker) app shows you where your friends or co-workers are at any given moment by culling Facebook for location data and plotting them on a map. First, you must be Facebook "friends" with your target. The developer is working on ways to harvest similar data from people's Twitter updates. (Link)

 Baby Shaker: an app that simulates killing a baby by shaking him

This controversial application was withdrawn from the iTunes store shortly after release. Apple later apologized for the "deeply offensive" iPhone application called Baby Shaker, which made a game of quieting crying babies by shaking them.

It sparked outrage from children's groups and brain injury foundations. The aim of the game was to quiet babies by shaking the iPhone until a pair of thick red Xs appeared over each eye of a baby drawn in black-and-white. (Link)

 BeautyMeter App: an app to vote for one's hotness even if you are underage

In 2009 a nudie drama came from the iTunes App Store centering around a vicious free app called BeautyMeter which mirrors the concept behind the popular online website"Hot or Not." The app, produced by developers Funnymals, allows people desperate for any kind of attention to upload photos of themselves to be rated by a community of gawkers. Photos are rated by giving stars based on three criteria: face, body and clothes, with the latter criteria being of lesser importance.

A wildfire of controversy was set off when Krapps.com uncovered several sexually explicit pictures of some girls who list their age as 16. One photo features a 15-year old flasher posing topless, including a deliberate pantie dip as she poses for the camera. (Link)

 Poo Blaster: a simulation game of how men clean toilets

Created by Immature, quite possibly the most aptly named developer in all of Google Play, Poo Blaster traffics in a brand of "Men are filthy pigs" humor that aims really low.

From the Department of Sentences I Never Thought I'd Write, Poo Blaster challenges gamers to clean a series of befouled toilets by directing a virtual stream of urine at the polluted areas of porcelain. It's unseemly by any measure, but Immature's Google Play page further ups the ante/lowers the bar by calling the game a "simulation of how men clean toilets," a notion I'd like to refute on behalf of self-respecting, toilet brush-owning dudes everywhere. Despite Poo Blaster's flawed premise, all hope is not lost: Immature could still remove it from the Android games category and re-brand it as a diet app, since it's guaranteed to make you lose your appetite. (Link)

 Badabing!: an app that helps you instantly find beach or pool pics of your Facebook friends

Concern is growing over a 'creepy' new iPhone app which scours pictures posted by users' Facebook friends to pull out all the photos showing them wearing revealing outfits. On sale on the iTunes store for £1.49 ($1.99), the Badabing! app uses some sort of image-recognition technology to work out which of your friends pictures show the most skin. Once the pictures have been discovered, users can then browse them all before bookmarking their favorites and sharing them with others.

The service is particularly disturbing in light of recent claims by the Internet Watch Foundation that it found more than 12,000 instances of girls who had posted seductive pictures of themselves that ended up on pornographic sites. (Link)

 Gayometer Pro: an app to ‘help' you figure out if your friend is gay

The homophobia fueling Gayometer Pro merits inclusion on any list of the most offensive mobile applications. "Ever wondered if you or someone you know is gay, but aren't quite sure?" reads the app's Google Play page. "With the patented technology behind our new Gayometer you can, with the click of a button, know for a fact which team anyone plays for! This application analyzes a face picture and determines key facial features to calculate one's gayness." (Via)

 Cannabis: a Google Maps looking app that helps you find Marijuana

iPhone apps can find just about anything. They can help you find a job, locate your friends, or just pinpoint a gas station. But a new app is promising to find you something far more controversial: marijuana.
Apple has approved a new $2.99 iPhone app, aptly named Cannabis. It's made by the also appropriately-named Ajnag.com. The purpose of the app is to help locate legal medical marijuana in states and locations where it can be found. Will this app lead thousands of iPhone users to cannabis, or is it a tool of a movement in favor of marijuana legalization? The answer, surprisingly, is both.

If you can legally purchase cannabis, you can use this app to find it. But what if you don't have a license or live in an area where medical marijuana is not legalized? This app also has an answer - it will show you the nearest cannabis organizations in your area so you can promote reform. It even covers international travel by showing you legal cannabis coffee shops.(Link)

 The Tooth Fairy App: the app to help you calculate how much you should pay per tooth

Here's one for the list of tools you can probably live without: An app for iPhones and iPads that helps compute what the tooth fairy should leave for your child.

Now, just in case there any children who are avid Bucks readers, I'm not saying that the tooth fairy doesn't exist — just that he or she may confer with parents to determine the amount of money that is left under your pillow. The amount may vary, based on where you live, and by family (or fairy) tradition.

I am saying, however, that parents who need an app to tell them what value to place on their child's bicuspids may need to get a life. (Via)

Oddee