Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Nice and Fresh

A clean-up effort of a landfill abandoned in the 1950s found several Twinkies in pristine condition.

Didn't I recently hear they are/are close to, going bust?

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

This is Nice

Following on from the previous post, one response to the article said the following:

This is the Captin speakin from the bridge - na man not the one ower the Tyne, the one on the plane. Thats a joke see.

An aye man- its canny up the frunt hear - yews awl reet in the back? Aye why as ganna start up the enginns an have yus awl outa hear in nee time  an its nay bother at arl bonny lads and lasses.   The newkeys ull be runed in a mo ya kna an theere just reet cos we've had our few arlready.

Aye an thanks like fer flyin on Geordie Hair


Soothing Tones

Pilots with London accents are the least reassuring for air travellers, according to new research among fliers. 

The traditional well-spoken pilot's voice in a clipped Home Counties accent was voted the best of all in the survey and there were also a preference for certain regional accents, with the Scottish lilt taking second place and the Republic of Ireland taking third.
The celebrity voice passengers found most reassuring was that of upper class actor Nigel Havers, followed by Sean Connery. Stephen Fry, Patrick Stewart, Hugh Grant and Ewan McGregor all made the top ten.

Favourite celebrity voices saw two women in the list, Joanna Lumley and Joan Bakewell  and George Clooney was the only non-British or Irish celebrity in the top ten.
I have no preference how anyone says "we've just landed".

More at TTel

The Difference


Driving in Britain

Motorists face a huge hike in speeding fines to as much as £100 to help fill a funding gap for victims of crime, Kenneth Clarke has disclosed. 

Drivers could see standard £60 fines increase by almost 70%, even though there is no direct victim in many motoring offences.  Those who go to court to challenge speeding tickets or for more serious driving offences could pay up to £120 in to the programme.

The fines for motorists come as part of a huge expansion in the Victims Surcharge scheme, which currently levies just £15 on top of fines issued by courts.  The Justice Secretary now wants the scheme extending to all criminals, including those gaoled for the most serious offences such as murder and rape, but he also announced plans to expand it to fixed penalty notices meaning drivers will now also be targeted.

More at TTel

No Chance

Sir Richard Branson has advertised for a builder to rebuild his luxury Caribbean mansion, which burnt down in a devastating fire last year.

The advert on Building.co.uk says the Virgin tycoon is offering £57 000 a year for a Construction Manager to oversee the build on Necker Island, his £60 million private hideaway.

For 18 months the lucky builder will manage and co-ordinate the construction, with duties including interpreting design and specification and issuing of formal instructions to contractors.  The ad also says the role will require problem solving, dispute resolution and diplomacy.

Can you imagine what the call out charge for the estimate will be?

Over Filled

A pub landlord and ­landlady have been ­suspended from their roles and told they could face the sack for serving "big" pints of beer.

Brewery bosses are said to have complained that the couple did not serve a big enough head on their pints of beer and lager, meaning there was more to drink and Samuel Smith brewery are claiming they owe them £10 733 in lost stock and ordered to close their Junction Inn pub at Royton, Greater ­Manchester.

The dispute is based around the idea that customers cannot expect more than 95% of their pint glass to be filled with liquid.

Only in England, right?

What are the Odds

The world of football has been rocked its very foundations after footage from Saturday’s FA Cup 4th round tie between Liverpool and Manchester United showed one of the 45,000 crowd acting like a complete arsehole.
With football grounds being the last place on earth that people would expect to encounter morons, the footage has sent shockwaves through the football leagues.
“We are extremely concerned that one of the forty-five thousand people that attended the game was seen making racist gestures,” said a police spokesperson.
“We have to assume that as a result of this incident all football fans, players and management are probably racist too.”
“In fact it’s entirely reasonable to suggest that football is just one big racist hate mob chasing a ball around a field.”

Racism arrest

Fans have expressed concerns that stadiums ringing out with songs such as ‘Who ate all the pies?! Who ate all the pies?! Fair enough, I’ll have some chips instead’, could become a thing of the past.
“Football grounds have always been considered a celebration of diversity and tolerance,” said Millwall fan Gary Barnes.
“I remember a few seasons ago there was a fella stood near me who expressed his dissatisfaction at a refereeing decision by suggesting that the referee was unsure of what his role was.”
“Several people within earshot fainted, but I managed to diffuse the situation by highlighting that the referee is only human and these mistakes tend to even themselves out over the course of the season.”
“No-one wants to see that sort of behaviour week in, week out.”
Top 10 football chants that fans now fear could disappear.
  1. We hate stereotypes
  2. The ref is only human
  3. We wholeheartedly endorse the concept of a multicultural society
  4. Where your wife takes it is none of our business.
  5. We don’t feel threatened by homosexuality
  6. With a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile, the opposing manager is great at kids parties.
  7. We don’t particularly agree with that substitution, but you’re the boss.
  8. Stand up if you think that women deserve equal pay
  9. Oooooooooooooooooo, great goal kick aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
  10. If you support same sex marriage clap your hands

A Bad Thing

After the Archbishop of York claimed that gay marriage should not be allowed because marriage has a very clear social structure which has been around for a long time, everyone reminded him this was also once true of slavery.
Dr John Sentamu, the second most senior Church of England cleric, told reporters that his stance on keeping traditional marriage was different to his stance on keeping slavery “just because”.
He said, “Yes, slavery is OK according to parts of the bible, and was a social norm for a very long time, just like marriage is – but wanting to keep this one but get rid of the other is very different because I said it is.”
“You people need to stop looking for consistency in religious opinions. Our guidebook is full of inconsistencies, so why shouldn’t our opinions be much the same?”

 Archbishop on gay marriage

Many people have spoken out against the Archbishops views, claiming men in dresses should not be trusted.
Non-believer Dave Williams told us, “Just because something has been done for a long time doesn’t mean it is beyond reproach and shouldn’t be changed – the proof is right there in my frankly disgusting chicken bolognese recipe.”
“If he’s so keen to defend the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman because it’s what the bible promotes, what are we going to do about all these women politicians?”
“It’s pretty clear in Timothy 2:12 that women should stay silent in the presence of a man.”
“Though to be honest, if he could somehow enforce that rule with my missus he’d have a brand new convert right here.”

Entirely Reasonable

Iain duncan smith on RBS bonus furore
Iain Duncan-Smith has claimed the government can not intervene in the bonus given to Stephen Hester by the RBS board, because preventing rich people giving money to other rich people would leave the world in ‘chaos’.
The Secretary of State for Work and Pensions told BBC One’s Andrew Marr show that taking such a stance would create scenes that would make the austerity protests look like a children’s picnic.
He told viewers, “I  don’t know if you’ve ever tried to come between a rich person and their money, but they can be extremely vicious.  We would do well not to provoke them, and that is the official stance of this government.”
“I don’t know if you know much about proper chaos on a biblical scale, but if we were to prevent multi-millionaires giving your money to other multi-millionaires there would be rivers of blood in the streets.”
“The students might have had placards and the odd brick, but these people have significant funds to spend on armoury. You do not piss of the rich. End of story.”

Chaos over RBS veto

Despite the threats of chaos, millions of tax payers insisted they were perfectly happy to see what happens when a rich person doesn’t get their own way for once.
Tax payer Mike Matthews told us, “I’m kind of intrigued to be honest. Would there be lots of screaming, maybe some tears? I quite like the sound of that.”
“And if it turned violent and a few thousand of them were lost in running battles with the military, then I’m sure we’d get over it.”
“Well, once we’d recovered our composure from all the laughing.”

Making Do

RBS boss Stephen Hester has refused to take his £1m share bonus, insisting he is willing to struggle by on his £1.2m salary for the good of the taxpayer.
After pressure from politicians on both sides of the house, Hester agreed to make the sort of sacrifice rarely seen in the capitalist world and adjust his standard of living to match his meagre £1.2m wage packet.
“I looked around me and saw people struggling to make ends meet, and the people losing their jobs here at RBS, and I thought to myself – you know Stephen, with a little belt tightening you could probably eke out a pretty satisfactory living on just £1.2m a year.”
“And so I’m going to give it a go.  Of course, this will be difficult, and I will be making a number of significant sacrifices, but hopefully people will see this gesture for what it really is – a massive sacrifice on my part.

Hester refuses bonus

Tax payers have welcomed Hester’s move, but many are now concerned that he has left himself open to the poverty striking millions across the country.
“If I was to lose half of the money I was expecting to bring in this year, I’d lose my house.” said tax payer Sharon Williams.
“It’s a generous gesture, sure, but I don’t want to see the poor man destitute.”

They Lie


New Idea

Isn't it time we had some manufacturer making tins or packets of baked bean sauce?  I am aware it's a tomato based "gravy" but you try getting it the same consistency or taste as Heinz, HP et al.

Bring out the pre-made sauce tins and we can then add any kind of beans we want to.  A winner I reckon.

Men v Women

We're all aware that in women's tennis it is absolutely critical that upon making a shot of any kind, one has to emit an ear-piercing scream designed to wake the dead.  Two points (should that be (30-love?):

(a)  Why no shrieking when bouncing balls incessantly prior to service? 
(b)  Why men don't?

I'm not sure if all men don't as I don't follow the sport any more but I remember Connors being a grunter and not many else.  Why, then if the blurks can play quietly, the burds can't?


Footy gets the Tennis Elbow

After a weekend of FA Cup hoo-hah and a transfer deadline looming you might think a man who bleeds the letters F-O-O-T-Y when he cuts himself shaving would have plenty to talk about.

And speaking as a bloke who couldn't get a hit at our local tennis club cos I never could get that bluey-whiteness in my clothing that them hoity-toity bastards insisted on (I swear they'd have thrown me out cos my snot was the wrong colour) you wouldn't expect a ringing endorsement of the Australian Open tennis tournament.

Nevertheless, I don't think I've ever seen owt like that match. About 2 years ago we were wondering how many titles Nadal was going to rack up.

Federer couldn't beat him - and still can't when it matters - and everyone knew that the old smoothie was the greatest Swiss export since Ricola cough pastilles.

Nadal though was brutal. A terminator. If ever he looked down and out that Mallorcan light would blink on again and the beast would reassemble itself and give his opponent an almighty twatting.

I didn't warm to the bloke at first. He has none of the ease and grace of Federer. And it didn't help that the Mrs watched him with a nascent moistness about her, like Rafa was a sort of swarthy mystical gypsy who might drop off the back of his horse-drawn caravan and muscle her into the undergrowth for some Iberian love-making.

Trouble is, the man is just an utter gent. The way he conducts himself is even more faultless than his tennis. At times it seemed that the only thing that could stop him was a pair of knees that made Michael Owen's look robust.

Djokovic was just one of them also-rans. Talented but unfortunate enough to be playing in an era where the best were way too good.

And suddenly the guy is unbeatable. Again he's not one of them blokes who makes you purr. I don't think I've ever seen any sportsman get into the positions he achieves without summat snapping. In slow-mo it makes you wretch a bit. He's Dr. Octopus to Nadal's Sandman.

There's also his endurance. I note some posh explorer chappy (Olly, inevitably) has announced he wants to be the first man to row round the world. (Its always the toffs who do this, isn't it? Never the people who have to make a living.) Djokovic could do that and still have enough gas left to fend off a late Andy Murray revival.

But Novak's accomplishments seem all the greater when you look at who he's had to beat to get there.

The gluten-free diet seems to have helped him. I've looked into it and frankly you're cutting out a lot of important foodstuffs like bacon sandwiches, Dolmio pasta and possibly even lager. (If you're planning to row round the world then please translate that last sentence into 'proscuitto ciabatta, linguine arrabiata and ermm... lager.)

It'd be easy to major on the Serb's fitness and flexibility but we should remember that beyond that he's hitting the ball better than the others. That's why he's winning. He is the best player out there.

So we are in a quite exceptional time for men's tennis. As opposed to the women's game which continues to turn out Aryan Amazons from eastern Europe who play a form of tennis that would be entirely monotonous were it not for the variety of their ejaculations.

I'd like to gag the lot of them. Not cos it's unladylike - it's nowt compared to the eardrum-wrecking caterwauling you get in Stockton High Street of a Friday night - but cos it's unnecessary - and it's used to put your opponent off. You're hitting a tennis ball, love, not auditioning for Kill Bill 3.

Mercifully Azarenka made short work of Shriekapova and Melbourne's earplug vendors were left to rue the fact that women can't last 5 hrs 56 minutes.

And what of our lad? Andy Murray. Part of the Fab Four I'm told, but still playing Ringo. Occasionally allowed the lead vocal ('will you still need me, will you still seed me, when I'm 64?'... 'I get beat with a little help from my friend').

Well, let's face it he got close. Much closer. If Djokovic is the mountain-top then the boy's going to need some shit-hot crampons. But unless one of these heavyweights gets crocked for a Slam then you can't see him beating two of them to get to a title. He just can't sustain the level of brilliance that the top two achieved on Sunday. And it's probably unreasonable to expect it.

In the meantime, we will still get the odd bleat from a big time Charlie manager that his poorickle footballers are a bit tired out from playing 3 hours of football in a week! Pah! I think I used to think tennis was a game for refined genteel woofters. Not anymore. Given that you're not allowed to tackle anyone these days I think the jessies are very much the petulant, sulky ones in the pink and orange boots.

They're All Big

Which is the biggest city in the world? And why is such a simple question so difficult to answer?

If you search on the internet for the world's biggest city, you'll find various different candidates: Tokyo, Seoul, Chongqing, Shanghai...

Which one you regard as the holder of the title, all depends on what you mean by "city".

Most experts will tell you that Tokyo is the world's largest metropolis, with a population of about 36 million people.

But the core of the city has only eight million people living in it.

The reason it gets into the record books is that the surrounding region - which includes the country's second city Yokohama, as well as 86 other towns and cities - has become so built up that it is now one huge continuous urbanised area.

Yokohama alone has a population of 3.6 million.
Tokyo boundaries drawn on satellite image
  • City proper: Tokyo city was merged with Tokyo Prefecture in 1943 to form a "metropolitan prefecture" - it still contains the 23 wards of the old city
  • The urban area shown here reflects dense inhabitation (at least 4,000 people per sq km) within administrative boundaries

Defining the borders of a city is no easy task - and there is no international standard to ensure consistency.

Three scholars who in 2009 compared eight different lists of top cities by population, found there were 30 "top 20 cities" in total.

One of them, Richard Greene, associate professor of geography at Northern Illinois University in the United States, says even the most authoritative list, from the UN, "compares apples with pears".

"We tend to think of 3 concepts of the city," he says.

"One being a municipal definition - the legal city if you will. A second we call the urbanised area, or the physical city - the built-up portion. A third we call the metropolitan area, which some people refer to as the influence of the city - how far out does the city go in terms of its influence, such as commuting patterns." Austria-sized city?

Most experts rate Tokyo as the world's biggest city because of the size of the population in the larger urbanised area.

It will probably still be the biggest in 2025, although its population is expected to scarcely increase. The UN expects it to be followed by the two major megacities in India - Delhi and Mumbai, which are projected respectively to have 29 million and 26 million inhabitants respectively by then.

And what about the cities in the country everyone is talking about - China?

Its cities are growing so fast that for the first time more than half the population live in urban areas, it was announced earlier this month.

But China's population statistics can be particularly misleading.

"Virtually overnight, Chongqing has become the largest city not only in China, but in the world," Time Magazine proclaimed in 2005.

But it wasn't true - Chongqing is not the largest city in the world, or even in China.

Why do so many people think it is?

Professor Kam Wing Chan of the University of Washington in the United States, who has made a career out of correcting people's exaggerated claims about Chinese population statistics, explains that what China calls a municipality or city is better understood as a province.

Many of the 30 million people who are said to live in the city of Chongqing are actually agricultural workers living in a rural setting, he says.

In fact, he says, the area is so huge it's about the size of Austria. 'Doom and gloom'

"And if you were to travel from the downtown area to some of the peripheral areas where those 30 million live, it might take a day or two because the road conditions are not that good. So, this cannot be possibly called a city. Because when we call a place a city the general understanding is that we're talking about a commuting zone."

Professor Chan calculates that a more reasonable estimate of the urban population of Chongqing is six or seven million.

The largest city in China is actually Shanghai. It is commonly thought to have a population of 20 million, but Professor Chan thinks 16 million is a better estimate.

He says everyone just loves to think China's cities are bigger than they actually are. He has even had to correct fellow experts at a world conference on global megacities of the future.

"They were trying to paint a really doom and gloom picture of these unmanageable urban giants, megacities with a population range of 20 to 30 million people.

"They were saying China will easily have a few of those in that range, which is not true - they are just picking up on a wrong definition. That gloom and doom scenario will definitely need to be revised."

Ask My Dog

Harry Redknapp told Dibble during interviews he "writes like a two year old", a court has heard.  He said:

"I am not going to fiddle taxes, I pay my accountant a fortune to look after me.  I am completely and utterly disorganised. I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell."

That's an excuse for fiddling your taxes?  Surely that's the educational level of the entire footballing elite- are they also screwing the tax man?  Sorry, scratch that- what a stupid question...

Bleedin' Hell

Just having a nose bleed as we speak.  Not had one of those in years, but coupled with the running nose, my tissues are a soggy mass of multicoloured messes.  Not pleasant and something I really could do without.  :-(

Turned Cooler

Must have dropped a few degrees in the past couple of days and we're still getting an almost daily downpour of rain that last around fifteen minutes.  We reckon we've sussed why.  The m-i-l is due out on 5th March and the weather is just practising...

Mash With Stock

I'm also a fan of the AFC (no, not the Arse Football Club, rather the Asian Food Channel) and one intriguing twist on making mash was to use stock instead of milk.  The presenter mashed up his spuds and then used chicken stock to bind them and I have to say, that looks like a neat idea and one we'll have to try one day.  I'd still add butter, mind.

Murdoch & Lewis

Monday nights are the only night worth staying in for (not that I had any choice yesterday as I was bedridden) and after the quite marvellous Murdoch (think CSI Meets Sherlock Holmes out in Canada) we have Lewis, the off-shoot of Morse.

Best of all, at least with Lewis, is that you don't get any ad breaks.  Heaven.


"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."

- George Bernard Shaw


Never been a fan of this as I have little musical talent and struggle to even get a CD to play well.  However, I do enjoy watching the braver amongst us give it a go and if I'm off my death bed on Thursday, we're off to Asok with Maggie & Cameron and their newly arrived friends to see what the locals can offer.

Should be fun.

Snot Update


It's blown into a full head cold and between the hacking cough, the dripping nose and general aches and pains, there's very little to add.  I'm sure I'll be over the worst of it by tomorrow and then up and onwards, because we've got plenty of packing to do before the weekend.

May 4th

17 Weird Examples of Star Wars Merchandise, as per Oddee:

Zombie Wars Posters

Zombie Wars Posters
If Star Wars is awesome and Zombies are awesome, then combining the two is surely a stroke of awesome brilliance.
(Buy it Here)

Monster Star Wars Characters Bobbleheads

Monster Star Wars Characters Bobbleheads
Like the Zombie Wars posters, these bobbleheads combine an awesome sci-fi movie with some classically awesome movie monsters. Yoda is a zombie, Chewbacca is a werewolf and Darth is Frankenstein. (Buy it Here | Buy it Here | Buy it Here)

Jedi & Sith Bathrobes

Jedi & Sith Bathrobes
Ever wonder what Jedis wear when they are just lounging around the house? As it turns out, their bathrobes look almost the exact same as their street clothes, only they come in soft terrycloth. (Buy it Here)

R2-D2 Aquarium

R2-D2 Aquarium
Everyone loves R2-D2, but sometimes having a lifesize replica in your home can just take up too much valuable space. Fortunately, this stylish fish tank gives your swimming friends and your favorite droid a cool place to hang out together while making your place look awesome. (Link)

Galactic Funk Album

Galactic Funk Album
Sure the Star Wars soundtrack is pretty bumping on its own, but just imagine the complete and total level of awesomeness that occurs when you mix the cantina song with some sweet disco and funk beats. (Link)

The Star Wars Cookbooks

The Star Wars Cookbooks
When your wookiee needs a cookie, there is no better resource to make him feel like he's back in the relaxed forest of Tatooine. Better yet, since one recipe book couldn't possibly contain all of your favorite Star Wars recipes, there are even two volumes for your baking, frying and chopping pleasures. (Buy it Here | Buy it Here | Photo)

C-3PO's Cereal

C-3PO's Cereal
I don't know about you, but when I think about droids, I don't think about munching down on their delicious nuts and bolts. For some reason, the marketing team at Kellogg's during the 1980's did though and this bizarre part of a balanced breakfast came into creation. (Link)

The Dark Side Coffee

The Dark Side Coffee
If you like your coffee black and you like your force to be dark, what better way to blend the two than with this gourmet coffee blend that has been hand roasted by Storm Troopers? It's a perfect accompaniment to some droid Os. (Buy it Here)

Darth Vader Imprinting Toaster

Darth Vader Imprinting Toaster
If you're looking to make lunch a little more force-friendly, then make yourself some Darth Vader toast, whip up some tuna salad and enjoy a darkside tuna melt. Finally your breakfast, lunch and dinner can all belong in a galaxy far, far away. (Buy it Here)

Space Slug Oven Mitt

Space Slug Oven Mitt
If you need some help getting your Tusken Raider Taters out of the oven, this space slug is happy to help, just make sure you never make the mistake of thinking he is actually a cave. (Buy it Here)

Light Saber Chopsticks

Light Saber Chopsticks
Of course, to eat all of your delicious intergalactic delicacies, you'll need to pick up the right eating utensils for the job and these light saber chopsticks are just the ticket. (Buy it Here)

Pond Wars Ducks

Pond Wars Ducks
There's nothing quite as relaxing as a nice long bath, unless that bath happens to be the center for an intergalactic war between the ultimate evil republic and the freedom fighting rebels. Did I mention these guys glow in multiple colors thanks to sweet LED lights? (Link)

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
This delightful piece of merchandise is so ridiculous that it was actually created as an April Fool's Day prank. Think Geek got so many requests for the item that they ended up getting the rights to make the sleeping bag become a reality. (Buy it Here)

Wampa Skin Rug

Wampa Skin Rug
Sleeping inside of a tauntaun is really only a necessity in the freezing extremes of Hoth. When you're ready for a more sophisticated night of romance by the fire, only the skin of a vicious wampa will do. (Buy it Here)

Eau Lando Cologne & Slave Leia Perfume

Eau Lando Cologne & Slave Leia Perfume
Billy Dee Williams is a pretty big stud, leaving Lando Calrissian to take on that role by proxy. If you've ever wanted to pull in the babes like Lando, then you'd better get to spritzing. As for the geeky ladies who wish they belonged in Jabba's harem, there's also a special perfume for you. (Link 1 | Link 2)

Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit

Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit
If your problem with ladies isn't related to your smell, but rather, your looks, then relax and let the Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit help you pass yourself off as the studly administrator of Cloud City. (Link)

Rejected Merchandise

Rejected Merchandise
With some of the crazy merchandise that has been put out there, it actually seems strange that these great ideas would be canned. Personally, I would love to get my hands on a Death Star barbecue, Princess Leia braid headphones and a Jabba bean bag. (Link)

Monday, 30 January 2012

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes


More money is spent on chicken noodle soup than any other canned food.

Super (Bowl) VFM?

A 30 second commercial slot at this year's Super Bowl, will cost $3.5 million (~£2.2 million), according to television executives, which is up $500 000 from last year.

More madness.

Pick a Day, Any Day

Hundreds of acts, from acrobats to orchestras have ushered in the Year of the Dragon in London, in what is apparently the largest Chinese New Year party outside of China.

London's Trafalgar Square became a riot of colour yesterday (Sunday) as thousands of people gathered to enjoy the festivities, which included a giant firecracker display and the traditional dancing dragons. 

So why was it a week late?

That's That Then

The idea that women cannot park is a fallacy, according to research, which indicated that female drivers are more adept than men at manoeuvring into a space.  Covert* surveillance of car parks across Britain has shown that while women may take longer to park, they are more likely to leave their vehicles in the middle of a bay.

The study is one of the most comprehensive ever conducted on gender driving differences, and took into account seven key components of parking styles.

Women were also found to be better at finding spaces, more accurate in lining themselves up before starting each manoeuvre, and more likely to adopt instructors’** preferred method of reversing into bays.

Men were shown to be more skilled at driving forwards into spaces and more confident overall, with fewer opting to reposition their car once in a bay.

Hardly something we weren't aware of before, I can't quite grasp the need for such research.   It only adds fuel to the smouldering fire and achieves exactly what?

*Don't they call that "spying"?

**What, these same instructors that suggest not crossing hands when turning, that only Plod adhere to?

Bold Faced

In 1982, the typographic font used for the "m" on M & Ms was changed from Bookman to Garamond Bold.

This switch cost Mars the manufacturers $8.6 million dollars.

All in the Name

Sometimes, you can just tell that TV writers enjoy giving ridiculous names to the characters they create.  Whether it’s a funny rhyme, play on words or just outright silly collection of syllables, there have been more than a few TV characters with pretty hilarious names. Guyism offers the following:

10 Chandler Bing – Friends
chandler bing picture 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast
Given that his parents were an erotic novelist and cross-dressing burlesque dancer, it’s not really a surprise that Chandler Bing has such a ridiculous name. Further adding insult to injury, his middle name is Muriel. Although, I guess he should count himself lucky that his name isn’t the same as what is printed on his TV Guide subscription: “Chanandler Bong.”

9 Nescobar-A-Lop-Lop – My Name is Earl
nescobar a lop lop 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

There are a number of funny-named TV characters in My Name is Earl (Earl Hickey, Frank Stump, Willie the One-Eyed Mailman, Patty the Daytime Hooker, etc.) However, it’s hard to beat out the ESL African immigrant who goes by the name Nescobar-A-Lop-Lop.

8 Beaver Cleaver – Leave it to Beaver
Beaver Cleaver 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver just may very well be the original funny-named TV character. Apparently, the nickname comes from the fact that his older brother was too young to properly speak the boy’s actual name when he was born -– a fact that resulted in him misspeaking “Theodore” as “Beaver.”

7 “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero – The Sopranos
the sopranos 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Here’s another unfortunate nickname that has strong sexual undertones. Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero started out as a cat burglar in his early days of crime. Add in the fact that Sal has a body frame that is best accommodated at a big and tall store, and it’s not hard to see where the affectionate term comes from.

6 Roseanne Roseannadanna – Saturday Night Live
rosannadanna 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

If ever there was a tongue-twister of a name, this would be it. Portrayed by Gilda Radner on the early days of Saturday Night Live, the brash character often appeared on “Weekend Update” segments to answer questions on current events. Supposedly, the name is based off of real life news reporter Rose Ann Scamardella.

5 Luanne Platter – King of the Hill
luanne platter 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Did you know that the Lu Ann Platter is a popular combo dinner at the restaurant chain Luby’s Cafeteria? If you don’t live in Texas, then you probably had no idea (as this is where Luby’s Restaurants can be found). Given that King of the Hill is largely a satire of suburban Texas living, this makes young Luanne’s name a nice hidden joke for those Texans who enjoy eating their fried chicken and macaroni from a cafeteria tray.

4 Dr. Beardface – Scrubs
Seymour Beardface 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Take a look at Beardface’s beardy face, and you might initially think that the name is a pleasant nickname for the aging doctor. However, as Beardface will inform you, it’s pronounced “Beard-fuh-say.” This fact suggests that it is just a coincidence that his name and facial hair are so accurately intertwined.

3 Boner Stabbone – Growing Pains
boner 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Here’s one last unfortunate nickname for the ages. Richard Milhous “Boner” Stabbone was one of Mike’s best friends in the early seasons of the show. For some reason, the TV writers were able to slip this fairly obvious sexual innuendo into the show.

2 Apu Nahasapeemapetilon – The Simpsons
apu nahasapeemapetilon 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

Everyone’s favorite Kwik-E-Mart employee has one of the longest and most difficult names to pronounce in television history. Of course, Apu’s octuplet children boast names just as difficult to pronounce as his own. However, in one episode he proudly displays his love for America by changing their names to Lincoln, Freedom, Condoleezza, Coke, Pepsi, Manifest Destiny, Apple Pie and Superman.

1 Bob Loblaw – Arrested Development
bob loblaw 135x95 10 of the worst TV character names ever broadcast

The Law Office of Bob Loblaw became a central plot location in the later episodes of Arrested Development. Clearly similar to the affectation “blah blah blah,” the name is somewhat of a dig on the “double talk” that lawyers tend to spout. Given the pure simple genius of the name and ability to include such advertising phrases as “Bob Loblaw No Habla Espanol,” Mr. Loblaw tops our list of funniest TV character names.


Students fans of Beyonce will soon be able to study for a diploma on their favourite subject,  now Rutgers "University" has added her to the curriculum.  While her husband, rapper Jay-Z, has already been honoured with a Georgetown University sociology course named after him, it's now Beyonce's turn to be "studied" in the classroom.
Rutgers University's Department of Women's and Gender Studies will soon be exploring the social and cultural significance of the Destiny's Child singer's music and image.  The course, "Politicizing [sic] Beyonce", will allow followers to explore the singer's career and debate the extent of control she has over her own image.  They will also debate whether her red hot persona is an outlet of female sexual empowerment or merely complying with western gender stereotypes.

Students will also discuss other iconic female singers including Lady Gaga, Billie Holiday and Nina Simone.

This is meant to be serious, right?

More Fixtures

Tuesday, 31st January 2012- Barclays Premier League
Swansea v Chelsea, 19:45
Tottenham v Wigan, 19:45
Everton v Man City, 20:00
Man Utd v Stoke, 20:00 
Wednesday, 1st February 2012
Aston Villa v QPR, 19:45
Blackburn v Newcastle, 20:00
Bolton v Arsenal, 20:00
Fulham v West Brom, 20:00
Sunderland v Norwich, 20:00
I have a very bad feeling about Wigan.

Round 5

FA Cup fifth round draw:

Liverpool v Brighton and Hove Albion
Everton v Blackpool or Sheffield Wednesday
Chelsea v Birmingham City
Crawley Town v Stoke City
Stevenage v Tottenham Hotspur
Norwich City v Leicester City
Sunderland or Middlesbrough v Arsenal or Aston Villa
Millwall or Southampton v Bolton Wanderers

All ties to be played the weekend of 18th and 19th February

I'm not complaining at that, but nowt is a given thing and the FA cup loves its underdogs.

Looking Precarious


  • England - 125 points
  • South Africa - 117
  • India - 111
  • Australia - 111
  • Pakistan - 99
  • Sri Lanka - 98
  • West Indies 88
  • New Zealand - 83
  • Bangladesh - 8
England need to beat Pakistan in the final Test of the series to be sure of retaining their number one spot in the rankings at the 1st April cut-off.  Should England lose, they will finish on 118 points and South Africa will take over if they win all three Tests of their series against New Zealand in March.

If England draw the final Test in Dubai they will end on 119 points but still lose their status at the top of the rankings, by 0.01 of a point, provided South Africa sweep the Black Caps.

Pakistan are fifth but if they complete a 3-0 series win over England they will close the gap on India and Australia in third and fourth to only three points.

All to play for then, but I wonder when we'll see the next batting collapse- and which side it will be...


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