Tuesday, 31 May 2011
No Poo, Poirot
A Harvard University study, conducted in 1992 found that 54% of the time, subjects would rather lie, than give out personal information to a stranger.
What's so startling about that? The amount of tall stories around a bar from fellow travellers is astounding. I mean, a five year holiday? Come off it. :o)
What's so startling about that? The amount of tall stories around a bar from fellow travellers is astounding. I mean, a five year holiday? Come off it. :o)
Blue Barnsley
Plod in Barnsley, south Yorkshire, have been told to monitor the language of people out shopping, eating or merely relaxing in the town centre. If the member of the public is heard to swear and the profanity is judged to be potentially causing offence or intimidation, the officers have been told to intervene.
The first option is simply to tell the individual to moderate his or her language but if that is unsuccessful, the officer can fine the person a maximum of £80.
Members of the public* have also been asked to report offensive and intimidating language, including swearing.
The fines are a part of a series of monthly campaigns aimed at tackling different types of anti-social behaviour.
So, can we expect arrests made at football matches- for the players? More at TTel
*We call this grassing on your neighbours and people still think this isn't a "big brother" society?
The first option is simply to tell the individual to moderate his or her language but if that is unsuccessful, the officer can fine the person a maximum of £80.
Members of the public* have also been asked to report offensive and intimidating language, including swearing.
The fines are a part of a series of monthly campaigns aimed at tackling different types of anti-social behaviour.
So, can we expect arrests made at football matches- for the players? More at TTel
*We call this grassing on your neighbours and people still think this isn't a "big brother" society?
Flying Pigs
Traffic wardens in Southampton are to strike over pay, which could lead to hundreds of drivers taking advantage of "free" parking and the loss of thousands of pounds in revenue for the council. An estimated £100 000 will be lost by the authority.
The wardens from Southampton City Council, who are members of Unite and Unison Unions, are to walk out on today, Tuesday 31st May and plan on taking several days of strike action.
A spokesbod bluffed that managers could step in for the 33 enforcement officers expected to take industrial action (what, managers leave their cosy offices?), which could mean that parking tickets will be issued. However, he also said that the council hoped that motorists would be honest and pay for their parking.
BWAWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... :oD
Yeah, right, that's surely going to happen.
The wardens from Southampton City Council, who are members of Unite and Unison Unions, are to walk out on today, Tuesday 31st May and plan on taking several days of strike action.
A spokesbod bluffed that managers could step in for the 33 enforcement officers expected to take industrial action (what, managers leave their cosy offices?), which could mean that parking tickets will be issued. However, he also said that the council hoped that motorists would be honest and pay for their parking.
BWAWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... :oD
Yeah, right, that's surely going to happen.
Fortnight Down
Can't believe that we've been back in Bangkok for two weeks already and if we were here on a standard 30 day visa, we'd be half way through. Luckily we've got a longer visa and can still look forward to another six weeks. *yay*
Can do no Wrong
FIFA has solemnly declared that Sepp Blatter is at one with the Holy Spirit, immune from wrongdoing and incapable of sin.
Blatter had been accused of allowing corruption to go unchecked within the organisation but FIFA has proclaimed that a blasphemy and his accuser has now been eternally damned with excommunication.
“The Holy Spirit descends upon all our presidents on the night of their election,” a FIFA spokesman confirmed, “so Mr Blatter is utterly infallible and totally without sin”
“That may seem like a drawback when it comes to leading an organisation as corrupt as ours but it seems to work just fine for the Catholic Church, don’t you think?”
“And they say the Spirit of the Lord works in mysterious ways, so I’m sure it may have some chance of getting its holy head around what Sepp has been doing at FIFA.”
Comparisons
Followers have taken the declaration as Gospel and are now drawing comparisons between Blatter and his infallible counterpart at the Vatican.
“It’s unfair really,” Cardinal Nolberto Torres said, sympathetically. “It’s one thing being the Pope but the Holy Sepp’s in a whole other league because this makes Him the Pope for football.”
“Hopefully that’ll mean that He’s a Pope that the masses of Godless heathens and possibly even Rangers supporters can learn to love.”
“So let His light shine upon them.”
NT
Ears = Two
On average, when a woman from North America or Europe wears perfume she applies it to six different spots on her body.
Sticking to Chang
It seems I've been away from the UK for longer than I imagined as I can only recognise around half of the following list from ShortList:
2. BADGER GOLDEN CHAMPION BY HALL & WOODHOUSE (5%)
“This is the back-yard grill king,” says Pete Brown. “Brewed with a hint of elderflower, Golden Champion provides a delicate perfume just above your palate. It tastes of summer evenings over the barbecue and has the body to stand up beautifully to chargrilled meat.” 3. BUDVAR YEAST (5%)
“Brits have grown blasé about Budvar,” says McVeigh. “We forget that this ancient brewery was purchased by the Czech government to preserve its unique brewing heritage and, as a result, is impervious to market pressure to ‘dumb down’. Many people also don’t realise that Budvar is lagered (cold-conditioned to smooth the taste) for 90 days, which is unusual. The unpasteurised, unfiltered Budvar Yeast is a class act — though it only has a shelf-life of 28 days.” 4. BERNARD UNFILTERED BY BERNARD (5.1%)
“I occasionally wish that some people were more open-minded than just asking for a ‘pint of lager’, but they are forgiven if they go for this unpasteurised lager, which is full of flavour,” says Tony Lennon. “This is our bestseller when we can get our hands on it. Bernard also brews a dark lager, pilsner and a light beer, all of which are great brews.” 5. LONDON PALE ALE BY MEANTIME (4.3%)
“One of my favourite beer stories is the origin of India pale ale,” says McVeigh. “This hoppy brew was originally created in the 19th century to water British troops in India. Our mild, pro-biotic ales couldn’t survive the weeks at sea, so brewers upped the hop content, creating a robust beer that survived the voyage. Brewing hero Alastair Hook has done his homework and this is as good as any execution of the style. Perfect with a hot curry.” 6. TEXAS RANGER BARREL AGED BY MIKKELLER (6.6%)
“Mikkeller is brewed by an eccentric and mysterious Danish guy who travels from brewery to brewery in Denmark, the UK and US ‘contract brewing’,” says Lennon. “He’s a specialist in dark, hoppy beers, such as this tasty porter which features the smoky heat of chipotle peppers rounded by the vanilla and oak notes of bourbon barrels.” 7. OLA DUBH 40 BY HARVIESTOUN (8%)
"Scottish brewery Harviestoun has pioneered the renaissance of craft brewing north of the border,” says McVeigh. “This fortified, inky brew is an extreme example of the brewer’s art. Ola Dubh (‘black oil’) starts life as Old Engine Oil: a dry 6% stout. Seeking a more complex drink, Harviestoun decants the stout into a Highland Park 40-year-old whisky barrel. “It eventually emerges as Ola Dubh 40, a decadent, port-like beer.” 8. CAMDEN PALE ALE BY CAMDEN TOWN BREWERY (4.5%)
“This beer from one of London’s newest and most exciting breweries is available in both cask and keg format,” says Brown. “The cask is good, but the perfectly judged carbonation in the keg lifts out the fruity aromas. It’s worth coming to London for, wherever you live.” 9. HOOKY DARK BY HOOK NORTON (3.2%)
“Situated in the village of Hook in Oxfordshire, this Victorian brewery has been creating contemporary versions of old favourites, with Hooky Dark leading the way,” says Jon Howard. “Having recently won bronze at the Brewing Industry International Awards, this has a complex malt and hop aroma, and a long, hoppy finish, unusual for a mild.” 10. CROP CIRCLE BY HOP BACK (4.2%)
“A groundbreaking brewery that started life in the cellar of The Wyndham Arms in Salisbury,” says Howard. “Crop Circle embodies the sun-drenched season with its slight citrus taste. Available in bottles as well as draught, its golden appearance and subtle flavours make it ideal for evenings in the beer garden.” 11. ORGANIC BEST BITTER BY ST PETER’S (4.1%)
“There’s more to this than meets the eye,” says Pierpaolo Petrassi. “The chariot barley is Soil Association accredited and organically grown, and the water comes from St Peter’s own source beneath the brewery. The result is a refreshing and full-bodied bitter that’s ideal for picnics.” 12. OLD RUBY ALE 1905 BY DUCHY ORIGINALS (5%)
“Brewed at the Wychwood Brewery in Witney, Oxfordshire, this deliciously robust blend is produced using barley from selected organic farms, including an English variety first used in 1905 called Plumage Archer,” says Petrassi. “It’s rich-tasting while maintaining elegance and balance.” 13. INDIA PALE ALE BY GOOSE ISLAND (5.9%)
“Replicating an English-style IPA is quite a mean feat when you’re based in Illinois, but it’s precisely what Goose Island has done,” says Howard. “If the aroma of bitter oranges and spicy hops doesn’t win you over, the range of fruit and bitter edge of the hops on the palate will. You’ll fail to find worthy superlatives for it on a balmy summer evening.” 14. KIPLING BY THORNBRIDGE BREWERY (5.2%)
“Best known for Jaipur, which has won more beer festival awards than any other ale since its 2005 launch, Thornbridge is fast becoming the classiest brewer in Britain,” says Brown. “Kipling is Jaipur’s younger brother, and is a tropical fruit salad with a tart finish. It combines the refreshment of lager with an ale’s body.” 15. ABBOT ALE BY GREENE KING (5%)
“Smooth, fruity and refreshing, with a depth of flavour that makes it a perfect match for full-flavoured foods,” says Petrassi. “The Greene King brewery is situated next to the historic ruins of the Bury St Edmunds’ Great Abbey and still draws water from the chalk wells used in brewing as far back as 1086. Crystal malts give Abbot its rich malty taste while First Gold, Fuggles and Challenger hops add a tangy, bitter dimension to the biscuity finish.” 16. MANCHESTER BITTER BY MARBLE (4.2%)
“A superb British bitter from a brewery highly regarded for its innovative beers,” says Howard. “For the best experience, nip into The Marble Arch in Manchester, where the brewery is housed. You’ll be taken aback by its strong, fruity, hop aromas, faultless golden colour and finely balanced bitterness on the palate and in the finish. Who said bitter was boring?” 17. ARTISAN GOLD BY BOWLAND BREWERY (5.7%)
“A golden ale matured and finished using the traditional champagne-making method, resulting in a drink that combines the sparkle of an over-excited debutante with the poise and elegance of a true aristocrat,” says Brown. “Worth every penny of the £15.99 price tag for a 750ml cork and foil-wrapped champagne bottle.” 18. HEFEWEIZEN BY WEST (5.2%)
“West is a microbrewery based in Glasgow, and is a lovely place to visit if you’re up in Scotland,” says Lennon. “We’ve had its Hefeweizen keg on recently at The Euston Tap and it’s something special — a light, cloudy, fluffy, summery wheat beer and a SIBA (Society of Independent Brewers’ Association) award-winner.” 19. DOPPELMALZ BY SCHREMSER (4.6%)
“The picturesque Schrems brewery in the Austrian Waldviertel, just south of the Czech border, was founded in 1380, and is characterised by an obsessive regard for quality and tradition,” says McVeigh. “All malt and hops used are grown locally. Doppelmalz is a ‘double-malted’ beer with a creamy, fruity brew.” 20. PUNK IPA BY BREWDOG (5.6%)
“BrewDog is an Aberdeen-based brewery responsible for some of the most daring beers currently available,” says Lennon. “This lightish India pale ale is proving extremely popular, and at 5.6% is one of the more sessionable IPAs out there. For me, it’s currently the best experimental brewery, and it’s well worth seeking out any of its beers.”How Odd
The 10 most pointless rules in sport
The place where logic is a stranger
As any self-respecting kid knows, rules are a right pain in the posterior. Generally implemented by petty bureacrats, little Hitlers and killjoy parents, it would appear that they’re only designed to extract fun from whatever activity they’re meant to be governing.
In the realm of sport, this seems to be magnified to the point of absurdity. Who on earth legislates such nonsense as injured players having to leave the field of play while their assailants are allowed to stay on?
Of course, one look at the folk who run sport - yes, Sepp Blatter we’re talking about you – and suddenly these inexplicable rules suddenly begin to make some sort of random sense.
Have a look at the following classic head scratchers: every single last one of them resembles a broken pencil. Pointless.
Pictures: Getty Images, Rex Features
In the realm of sport, this seems to be magnified to the point of absurdity. Who on earth legislates such nonsense as injured players having to leave the field of play while their assailants are allowed to stay on?
Of course, one look at the folk who run sport - yes, Sepp Blatter we’re talking about you – and suddenly these inexplicable rules suddenly begin to make some sort of random sense.
Have a look at the following classic head scratchers: every single last one of them resembles a broken pencil. Pointless.
Pictures: Getty Images, Rex Features
1. Taken off for treatment… in football
Fifa rules state that a player must leave the pitch if in need of treatment for an injury – which can easily tempt a nervous team into ankle-stamping the opposition’s best player minutes before the whistle. Those precious seconds waiting for the ref to bring him back on could prove vital.
2. No concessions for disabled people… in golf
American Casey Martin was no world-class golfer, but in the late 90s he was doing reasonably well on the PGA’s minor league Nike Tour. Martin had a birth defect in his leg attributed to Klippel Trenaunay Weber syndrome, which made walking painful. But the PGA wouldn’t let him use a golf cart to get round. So he sued them.
3. No coaching mid-match… in tennis
Think of every sport and you’ll see a ranting manager or trainer somewhere on the sidelines. Except tennis, where players are banned from conversing with the man who takes 15 per cent. Even toilet breaks are escorted, to ensure the rule isn’t broken.
4. Not being allowed to “over-celebrate”… in football
In a career that spanned over 500 matches, Alan Hansen scored just 14 goals. True, he was a defender, but had the day ever come that the dour Scot popped one in for his national team (0 goals from 26 games), he’d have gone absolutely bananas. And if playing today, probably booked.
5. Rain meaning a draw… in cricket
In one day international cricket, a no-result – technically the same as a draw – is called if rain stops play and the second team to bat have faced less than 20 overs of the allotted 50. Even if they’ve failed to score a single run.
6. No spike repairs allowed… in golf
You can move a stone, you can move a blade of straw, but if there’s a gaping hole from another man’s spikes between your ball and the hole on the green, rule 16-1c says leave it – which is often bad news for leaderboarders going out last.
7. No jockeys over 9 stone… in horse-racing
Frankie Dettori has publicly lambasted the Jockey Association for not raising the minimum weight limit for jockeys: he claims it makes being a pro almost impossible for all but the handful of men who are naturally around 8 stone. "I took Lasix, pee pills, diuretics, laxatives; all sorts," he once said of his efforts to stay tiny. Bulimia amongst jockeys is said to be rife.
8. A designated hitter… in baseball
The pitcher in baseball is like the teacher’s pet, and since 1974, he doesn’t have to bat thanks to an absurd ruling that allows him to name someone else to take his turn.
9. Dress code even when you’re not playing… in basketball
The NBA stipulates that all players must wear what it describes as ‘Business casual’ for all team or league events. Which means – and this is all down in writing – no sunglasses indoors, no headphones, no T-shirts, and no jewellery worn over the clothing.
10. Signing your scorecard… in golf
Positively littered with archaic rules, golf manages to outdo itself with the one about having to mark and sign your own scorecard. Even if you’re Tiger Woods and 100 million people around the world have just seen you shoot a 68 on the final round of the US Masters, it doesn’t count if you don’t submit a correct and signed scorecard to officials. You're disqualified.
Traveller's Tip # 135
Need an egg cup for your boiled egg and soldiers?
Just use a shot glass (if too deep, chuck in some bog paper in the bottom).
Ta-da.
Just use a shot glass (if too deep, chuck in some bog paper in the bottom).
Ta-da.
Hands Off
'Scuse the formatting, but this is the whole table of UK products that are protected by the EU. From here.
I haven't heard of half them...
GB/PGI/0005/00807  | United Kingdom |  New Season Comber Potatoes / Comber Earlies | PGI | 14/05/2011 | Published | |
| GB/PGI/0005/00876 | United Kingdom | Stornoway Black Pudding | PGI | 03/05/2011 | Applied | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0715 | United Kingdom |  Traditional Cumberland Sausage | PGI | 22/03/2011 | Registered | |
| GB/PGI/0005/00863 | United Kingdom | Scottish Wild Salmon | PGI | 07/03/2011 | Applied | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0796 | United Kingdom | Lough Neagh Eel | PGI | 15/02/2011 | Published | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0737 | United Kingdom | Native Shetland Wool | PDO | 12/02/2011 | Published | |
| GB/PDO/0005/00856 | United Kingdom | Isle of Man Queenies | PDO | 08/02/2011 | Applied | |
| GB/TSG/0007/00839 | United Kingdom | Watercress | TSG | 06/12/2010 | Applied | |
| UK/TSG/0007/0024 | United Kingdom |  Traditionally Farmed Gloucestershire Old Spots Pork | TSG | 29/07/2010 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0727 | United Kingdom | Cornish Pasty | PGI | 14/07/2010 | Published | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0633 | United Kingdom |  Yorkshire Forced Rhubarb | PDO | 25/03/2010 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0589 | United Kingdom | Cornish Sardines | PGI | 03/03/2010 | Registered | |
| UK/TSG/0005/0059 | United Kingdom | Traditional Pasture Reared Beef | TSG | 10/02/2010 | Applied | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0132 | United Kingdom | Traditional Grimsby Smoked Fish | PGI | 22/10/2009 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0792 | United Kingdom | Armagh Bramley Apples | PGI | 16/10/2009 | Applied | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0335 | United Kingdom | Melton Mowbray Pork Pie | PGI | 30/06/2009 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0105/0141 | United Kingdom | Scottish Farmed Salmon | PGI | 03/12/2008 | Registered | |
| UK/TSG/0007/0057 | United Kingdom | Traditional Bramley Apple Pie Filling | TSG | 05/11/2008 | Applied | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0340 | United Kingdom | Isle of Man Manx Loaghtan Lamb | PDO | 03/04/2008 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0667 | United Kingdom | West Country Lamb | PGI | 21/12/2007 | Applied | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0668 | United Kingdom | West Country Beef | PGI | 21/12/2007 | Applied | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0652 | United Kingdom | Yorkshire Wensleydale cheese | PDO | 08/10/2007 | Applied | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0354 | United Kingdom | Staffordshire Cheese | PDO | 18/09/2007 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0117/0275 | United Kingdom | Scotch Lamb | PGI | 23/07/2004 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0117/0274 | United Kingdom | Scotch Beef | PGI | 01/07/2004 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0227 | United Kingdom | Arbroath Smokies | PGI | 02/03/2004 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0081 | United Kingdom | Welsh lamb | PGI | 16/07/2003 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0057 | United Kingdom | Welsh Beef | PGI | 22/11/2002 | Registered | |
| UK/TSG/0007/0021 | United Kingdom | Traditional Grass fed Red Poll beef | TSG | 30/04/2001 | Applied | |
| UK/TSG/0007/0004 | United Kingdom | Traditional Farmfresh Turkey | TSG | 07/07/2000 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0001 | United Kingdom | Exmoor Blue Cheese | PGI | 28/04/1999 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0005/0002 | United Kingdom | Dorset Blue Cheese | PGI | 23/12/1998 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0005/0014 | United Kingdom | Cornish Clotted Cream | PDO | 01/10/1998 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0285 | United Kingdom | Teviotdale Cheese | PGI | 21/01/1998 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0371 | United Kingdom | Whitstable oysters | PGI | 24/01/1997 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0276 | United Kingdom | Shetland Lamb | PDO | 23/11/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0027 | United Kingdom | Jersey Royal potatoes | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0272 | United Kingdom | Orkney beef | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0273 | United Kingdom | Orkney lamb | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0277 | United Kingdom | White Stilton cheese ; Blue Stilton cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0279 | United Kingdom | West Country farmhouse Cheddar cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0280 | United Kingdom | Beacon Fell traditional Lancashire cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0281 | United Kingdom | Single Gloucester | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0282 | United Kingdom | Swaledale cheese ; Swaledale ewes´ cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0284 | United Kingdom | Bonchester cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0287 | United Kingdom | Buxton blue | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PDO/0017/0300 | United Kingdom | Dovedale cheese | PDO | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0290 | United Kingdom | Gloucestershire cider/perry | PGI | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0291 | United Kingdom | Worcestershire cider/perry | PGI | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0292 | United Kingdom | Herefordshire cider/perry | PGI | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0296 | United Kingdom | Kentish ale and Kentish strong ale | PGI | 21/06/1996 | Registered | |
| UK/PGI/0017/0373 | United Kingdom | Rutland Bitter | PGI | 21/06/1996 | Registered |
I haven't heard of half them...
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