GENETICISTS have created a sheep that produces kebab meat, it emerged last night.
Cutting-edge recombinant DNA technology has enabled the creation of Nancy, a six-month-old ewe whose flesh is of the same matter popularly known as 'doner'.
Scientist Stephen Malley said: "Nancy looks and behaves like a normal sheep, just with greyer, greasier skin.
"But when we humanely removed slivers of flesh from her back, cooked them intermittently on a spike for several weeks then ate them from a dough pocket with a bit of everything from the laboratory salad bar, the taste was unmistakeable doner.
"Kind of salty and fatty, with a hint of more salt and more fat."
He added: "Animal-grown kebab has long been the holy grail of the food science community. In 10 years' time even microwave burgers could contain animal meat."
Tom Logan, from Peterborough, said: "As a kebabist I'm not really comfortable with the idea of eating something that comes from an animal.
"I like to know that what's in my pitta bread comes from the obscure 'fourth place' that exists outside the tedious norms of the natural world.
"That said I would probably eat a used car if I were drunk enough and it was coated in medium chilli sauce."