Sunday, 31 May 2009

Have Passport, Will Travel

The Independent doesn't want to be left behind in the current trend to embarrass MPs and their outrageous expense claims. It's been digging around into foreign trips made over the last couple of years by our pampered representatives- usually on business class flights and with luxury hotel accommodation too. It has uncovered details of nearly 200 "fact-finding missions and study tours" to more than 60 countries– the equivalent to two trips for every week of the year.

MPs' travels around the world

Bahrain 6-11 September 2007

David Ruffley (C), Nigel Evans (C), Michael Fallon (C). For meeting on Iraq and the situation in the Gulf. Flights and accommodation paid for by the government of Bahrain.

Brazil Two trips, including: 11-15 November 2007

Alun Michael and Margaret Moran (both L) to attend the Internet Governance Forum, representing All-Party Groups including Pitcom (Parliamentary Information Technology Committee) and Eurim (European Information Society Group). Travel and hotel costs funded by Eurim with the support of Nominet.

Cayman Islands 23-28 July 2008

Nigel Evans (C), Lindsay Hoyle (L) and Michael Fallon (C), as part of All-Party Parliamentary Group on the Cayman Islands. Cayman Islands government paid for flights and hotel. Mrs Fallon was on the trip but paid for her flight.

China Eight visits, including: 6-16 September 2007

Ben Chapman (L), Mark Simmonds (C), Ian Stewart (L), David Lidington (C), Michael Mates (C), Madeleine Moon (L), James Paice (C), Jeff Ennis (L). The All-Party Parliamentary China Group, to discuss bilateral relations. All internal travel and some food costs in China were met by the National People's Congress. Flights from London to Beijing and accommodation costs were met from the funds provided by the registered sponsors of the All-Party Group.

Cuba 9-14 November 2008

Ian Taylor (C) in capacity as co-chair of the Cuba Initiative organisation, which works to strengthen UK-Cuban trade relations. Flights and accommodation provided by the Caribbean Foundation, a charity, through the Cuba Initiative. Local hospitality provided by the Cuban government.

Egypt Three trips, including: 31 March-6 April 2006

Sir Peter Viggers (C), with UK-Egypt All-Party Parliamentary Group, to further political relations between the UK and Egypt. He was accompanied by his wife and the visit was made at the invitation and expense of the Egyptian government.

Finland 4-8 May 2009

Sir Alan Beith (LD), Sir Patrick Cormack (C), Ann Winterton (C). British-Finnish All-Party Parliamentary Group, to meet Finnish MPs for discussions on issues affecting both countries and the Finnish prison service relating to the training of prison officers. Accommodation, hospitality and local travel within Finland were provided by the Finnish parliament. Travel to Finland was funded under the House of Commons European Travel scheme, paid for by the taxpayer.

Ghana 7-12 February 2008

Stephen Hepburn (L), Jim Sheridan (L), Anthony Wright (Great Yarmouth, L), Russell Brown (L), John Leech (LD). To play a football match against the Ghanaian parliament at its invitation to celebrate its 50th anniversary of independence, to visit an SOS Villages project and a refugee camp at the invitation of Play Ghana, and to attend the African Nations Cup final, with accommodation, food and local transport provided by the parliament of Ghana and a contribution towards the air fare provide by our club sponsors National Grid, which also helped to provide a charitable donation to SOS Villages.

Iceland

19-22 May 2008

Sir John Butterfill (C), David Wilshire (C) and three peers. Sir John led a delegation of the taxpayer-funded IPU to Reykjavik. A report includes details of 'excellent lunch', a sight-seeing tour of Reykjavik, and a trip to the Blue Lagoon 'for bathing in the hot springs'.

India Six trips, including: 10-17 February 2008

Stephen Pound, Howard Stoate, Stephen Ladyman (all L), to Chennai, Hyderabad and Delhi, to meet state and national ministers, industrialists, academics, representatives of business organisations and a visit to a DfID-funded project. All transport, accommodation and meals provided by Indian government.

Japan Three trips, including: 27 June-1 July 2008

Graham Stuart (C), Eric Joyce (L) and Stephen Byers (L), to attend the Globe (Global Legislators Organisation for a Balanced Environment) Tokyo G8+5 Legislators Forum. Business-class return travel, five nights' accommodation and all meals were provided by Globe International.

Kenya Three trips, including: 13-21 February 2009

Claire Ward (L) as speaker at the Sigma Independent Retail Pharmacists Conference, accompanied by husband. Flights, travel, accommodation and hospitality were provided by Sigma Pharmaceuticals (Watford), which received sponsorship for the conference from a large number of generic drug and retail pharmacist companies.

Maldives Two trips, including: 24 August-2 September 2008

Brian Binley (C) to meet parliamentarians and advise on good practice in election procedures, as a member of the All-Party British-Maldives Parliamentary Group. Flights and hotel paid for by the Maldives government.

Monaco 18-19 May 2009

Nigel Waterson (C) to address retirement planning summit. Money Marketing paid for costs.

Montenegro 15-18 February 2009

Roger Berry (L), David Chaytor (L), Nigel Evans (C), Stephen Hepburn (L) and one peer, a delegation of the taxpayer-funded IPU. A report of the trip states: 'The delegation's first duty was to visit the world-famous Plantaze winery. We could not have received a better welcome!'

Nigeria Four trips, including: 30 November-6 December 2008

Michael Connarty, Stephen Hepburn, John Robertson, Anthony Wright (all L). All-Party Parliamentary Group on Nigeria on a fact-finding visit. Costs met by Virgin Nigeria Airways and Shell.

Norway Five trips, including: 26-28 August 2008

Anne Begg and Dari Taylor (both L) to Stavanger to visit Offshore Northern Seas (ONS) conference and exhibition on joint visit by the British Offshore Oil and Gas Industry All-Party Parliamentary Group at Westminster and the Oil and Gas Cross Party Group at Holyrood. Overseas flights, hotel accommodation, local transport and hospitality sponsored by Oil & Gas UK, Shell, Chevron, Statoil Hydro, Wood Group, Conoco Phillips, Exxon Mobil, the Norwegian embassy and OLF.

Oman Three trips, including: 30 October-3 November 2008

Alan Duncan and Keith Simpson (both C), cross-party group, as part of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Oman. Travel paid for by the State Council of the Sultanate of Oman.

Qatar Two trips, including: 14-16 April 2008

Derek Wyatt (L) and David Lidington (C) to attend the eighth Doha Forum on Democracy, Development and Free Trade. Travel and hotel paid for by the government of Qatar.

Romania 31 August-5 September 2008

Jim Dobbin and Eric Martlew (both L) with the All-Party Parliamentary Rail Group, to look at rail freight systems sponsored by the Rail Freight Group.

Saudi Arabia Two trips, including: 17-20 April 2006

Ian Davidson (L), Sir Peter Viggers (C), Huw Irranca-Davies (L), Graham Brady (C) and two peers, delegation of the IPU to meet the President and ministers. Included a 'number of lunches, dinners and receptions'.

Sweden Four trips, including: 10-12 August 2008

Ashok Kumar, Jamie Reed, John Robertson, Jim Sheridan (all L) and Bob Spink (Ind C) to Oskarshamn, to visit nuclear power and nuclear waste research and storage facilities with the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Nuclear Energy. The costs of the trip were met by E.ON.

Taiwan Five trips, including: 28 September-5 October 2007

Andrew Stunell (LD), Jim Dowd (L), Gordon Prentice (L), with a group of parliamentarians from the All-Party British-Taiwanese Group and All-Party Parliamentary Rail Group, as guests of the Taiwanese government.

Thailand 12-16 February 2006

Margaret Moran (L), Robert Goodwill (C), David Borrow (L), Bob Spink (Ind C), as part of a taxpayer-funded IPU trip. Including a visit to the River Kwai bridge and death railway and a reception hosted by the British ambassador.

Turkey Four trips, including: 18-22 March 2007

Stephen Hepburn, Lindsay Hoyle and Bob Laxton (all L) with the All-Party British-Turkish Parliamentary Group. Flights, accommodation and in-country costs were met by the Turkish government.

United Arab Emirates Two trips, including: 14-19 November 2008

Philip Dunne, Adam Holloway, Julie Kirkbride, Andrew Mackay and Hugo Swire (all C) to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, described as an 'all-party' delegation to meet government representatives, as guest of the government of the UAE, although no other parties seemed to have gone. The costs of flights and accommodation were met by the government of the UAE.

USA 17 visits, including: 24-31 August 2007

Stephen Ladyman (L), John Robertson (L), Robert Walter (C), Michael Connarty (L) and Nigel Evans (C) to Atlanta and Pittsburgh to visit some nuclear power facilities with the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Nuclear Energy. The costs of the trip were met by Westinghouse Electric Company.

And... 4-7 May 2008

John Robertson (L) as chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Nigeria, to Washington to consult with US policy and law-makers on Nigeria. Flights, accommodation and other costs were met by Chatham House, a non-governmental organisation.

Time For Dilbert


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One of his better ones. :oD

Smash & Grab

The average successful convenience store robber in America gets away with $537.

World No Tobacco Day

Is today and it's quite a touchy subject here in Malaysia. They spend MYR 3 000 000 000 a year to treat smoking related diseases, which kills 10 000 people annually. That's a lot of waste in any currency...

It's Not Always Football

Today's MotoGP hits Italy at Mugello and there can only be one favourite to win. Rossi admits this is his most preferred track and with good reason- he's only won here the last seven times. Currently lying in second place by one point (after four races), he will looking to notch up another win and go top of the pile. Good luck to him.

It Must Be Close By

One in five Britons has admitted that they happily jet overseas to holiday destinations they cannot pinpoint on a map, and some (around 4%) have even landed abroad with the wrong currency.

Around 2% of the 2 000 adults polled admitted going to the wrong hotel, or even the wrong destination, after booking a trip abroad. The Thai capital of Bangkok proved a mystery to a quarter of the interviewees, who could not find it on a map. Others places easily confused were Palma, in Mallorca, and La Palma, in the Canaries.

Pah, that's nothing. I've booked up a hotel in Zurich before and we spent hours looking for it. Turned out it was in a different town entirely. Wifey now takes care of all our accommodation needs nowadays. :o)

What an Outstanding Man

I believe we may have referred to this last year, but in any case, this is inspiring if only because of the guy's courageous attitude. Taken from TSunTimes:

A terminally ill cancer patient is set to win £5,000 for the second time after betting that he would stay alive.

Jon Matthews, 59, staked £100 at odds of 50/1 that he would remain alive until June 1.

He has already received one £5,000 windfall, having laid the same bet last year. He plans to give the money to charity.

Mr Matthews, from Milton Keynes, was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a cancer linked to asbestos, in April 2006 and was warned by doctors he could be dead within months.

The prognosis inspired him to place the first bet with bookmakers William Hill that he would still be alive on June 1 2008.

After accepting the winnings last year he placed the same bet and on Monday stands to collect a further £5,000.

Mr Matthews has made one further wager, placing £100 at odds of 100/1 that he will survive until June 1 next year, that could net him £10,000.

He said: “I think I’m the first person in the world to bet on my own life.”

“I wasn’t that fussed because everyone has to die some time. But the interesting thing for me was how long it would take, would it take weeks or years.”

Mr Matthews plans to split his winnings between a number of good causes, including cancer charity Macmillan.

“I know I’m going to die eventually and I have no real need for money, so it will mostly go to worthy causes,” he said.

Graham Sharpe, spokesman for William Hill, said: “We had never been asked to accept a bet of this nature before, but as Jon approached us directly and was adamant that it would give him an additional incentive to battle his illness, we offered him the bets he wanted."

And good for William Hill too, for taking the bets.

Meanwhile, Back in the Real World

The Queen and other spongers of the royal family are to be assigned up to 150 extra armed protection officers because of “health and safety” fears about the team already entrusted with their security.

Apparently the current squad of 400 special Plod are unable to cope with the punishing schedule of the royal ponces and some to work up to 70 hours a week, particularly on foreign trips. The strain is softened by overtime payments of up to £20 000 to £30 000 a year. That's on top of their normal salary. The decision to boost the team by up to 150 officers has prompted concerns about mainstream policing as Dibble sources say staff are being diverted from front line duties.

The money to pay for bodyguards for royals, diplomats and politicians comes from a special Home Office grant, but the size of the grant is kept secret. Why, I wonder? If the tax payer coughs for the bill, why shouldn't they know exactly how much it comes to? Experts estimate the cost of protecting the royals is about £60 million a year.

A recent survey found that 19 of the 43 forces in England and Wales cut their officers last year because of budgetary restraints. More forces are expected to cut staff at a time when the Police Federation, which represents rank-and-file recruits, says the service needs an extra 2 000 officers.

Kinda brings it into perspective, doesn't it?

Play it Again, Sam

In an experiment backed by Bo-Jo, the mayor of London, and by the national lottery, 31 pianos are to be placed around the capital to encourage people to gather for a singsong with strangers. They will be placed at prominent sites such as the British Library, the Natural History Museum, the Bank of England and Tate Britain and each will be decorated by an artist with an appropriate motif. The one outside the Bank will be painted with money, one on Carnaby Street will be adorned with bright 1960s-style swirls and one in Portobello Road market will feature fruit and veg. A full-time tuner will tour the sites on a bicycle to maintain them and the organisers believe the scheme will encourage trust.

Although the pianos will be chained to bollards and railings...

Not wishing to pour scorn on a theory that is quite a nice idea, but I hate the piano and can't think of a more desperate plan. What next, perhaps a simulated black out to promote the wartime blitz and encourage neighbourly spirit and camaraderie? Who comes up with this shite?

Strap Lines

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Tan lines may soon be a thing of the past with this latest sun bathing invention from Kiniki. The Tan Through is a transparent swimsuit when held up to the light, using thousands of microscopic holes in the mesh fabric to allow 80% of sunlight to penetrate through to the skin. However the garment is covered in "magic eye" style animal prints and abstract patterns which confuse the eye, so onlookers can only see a solid block of fabric thus retaining the wearer's modesty.

Described as "a chicken wire mesh material" the stretchy synthetic fabric is available as all-in-one swim wear, bikinis, wraps and men's briefs, tangas and hipsters. A swimsuit bought direct from the company's website costs £34.30 while all other items are £17.43.

Jolly fine idea if you're not too happy about going top/bottom-less but no doubt the health campaigners will be up in arms.

Sloppy Goods

Pease pudding, the traditional northern snack (made from boiled split peas and ham fat– yuck) was confiscated from hand luggage at Newcastle International Airport. It was part of the 450 litres of banned liquids seized by staff each day, including bottles of water, fizzy pop and suntan lotion, vintage champagne and spirits, jars of Marmite and bottles of tomato ketchup.

Isn't this all getting a bit ridiculous?

Howzat?

It seems that England's cricket eleven are trying all sorts of desperate measures to win in the field as they experiment with different coloured lenses in their trendy shades. Glare from sunlight is considered to be a serious problem for professional cricket players as it can impair their ability to see a fast-moving ball while fielding.

Apparently certain shades improve visibility; for example, orange lenses were found to be better for players at dusk, particularly when playing with a white ball rather than the traditional red ball. Silver mirrored lenses can have up to 28% in ball visibility, while grey lenses, which are traditionally worn by players, are too dark for most conditions and performed badly in most tests. No doubt their sponsors will be disagreeing with that conclusion.

Anyway, why the fuss? British summers hardly see much sun.

Exhibition Match

Nice to hear that the German national football team played against China recently (Friday). Sadly not much of a game for the fans to watch but a top result for China who managed to take a 1-1 draw against the second best team in the FIFA rankings. China has dropped to number 97 in the rankings, and has failed to qualify for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

China next plays Iran on Monday in Qinhuangdo, and takes on Saudi Arabia three days later in Tianjin, while Germany has another friendly on Tuesday against the United Arab Emirates in Dubai.

Remember the Golden Rule

Always re-tune your TV set in a hotel as there is usually some numptie who's previously made a pig's ear out of it. I finally got around to doing this last night and got the welcome bonus of finding another sports channel. As luck would have it, they were showing the German FA Cup final and I made it to 03:00 in the morning and the first half before crashing.

A quick Google search and it turns out that Bayer Leverkusen lost 0-1 against Werder Bremen at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin. Scorer was Mesut Ozil 58, halftime score was 0-0 (told you), the attendance was 72 964and the referee was Helmut Fleischer.

Google is your friend. :o)

Congrats to Our Chelsea Fans

Of which one or two peruse the pages of this Blog on occasion. I didn't see the game, but I read that Chelsea beat Everton 2-1 after conceding the quickest goal in an FA Cup final history; just 25 seconds. Well done and at least you get a trophy at the end of your season.

Oddly enough, although we haven't won the tournament since 1991, Tottenham remain the third most successful team in the sta-testicles. Man Utd lead on 11 wins with the Arse in second on 10 triumphs. We're third with 8 wins and Chelsea now have 5 successes.

I can't recall what it feels like to actually win anything any more. :-(

Darn It

The most expensive disasters in history- thanks to Brendan for the email (and scuse typos and layout/stuff as this is just copied directly). The most shocking comes in at #1:

# 11. Titanic - $150 Million

The sinking of the Titanic is possibly the most famous accident in the world. But it barely makes our list of top 10 most expensive.
On April 15, 1912, the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage and was considered to be the most luxurious ocean liner ever built.
Over 1,500 people lost their lives when the ship ran into an iceberg and sunk in frigid waters. The ship cost $7 million to build
($150 million in today's dollars).

# 10. Tanker Truck vs Bridge - $358 Million

On August 26, 2004, a car collided with a tanker truck containing 32,000 liters of fuel on the Wiehltal Bridge in Germany . The tanker crashed through the guardrail and fell 90 feet off the A4 Autobahn resulting in a huge explosion and fire which destroyed the load-bearing ability of the bridge. Temporary repairs cost $40 million and the cost to replace the bridge is estimated at $318 Million.

# 9. MetroLink Crash - $500 Million

On September 12, 2008, in what was one of the worst train crashes in California history, 25 people were killed when a Metrolink commuter train crashed head-on into a Union Pacific freight train in Los Angeles . It is thought that the Metrolink train may have run through a red signal while the conductor was busy text messaging. Wrongful death lawsuits are expected to cause $500 million in losses for Metrolink.

# 8. B-2 Bomber Crash - $1.4 Billion

Here we have our first billion dollar accident (and we're only #7 on the list). This B-2 stealth bomber crashed shortly after taking off from an air base in Guam on February 23, 2008. Investigators blamed distorted data in the flight control computers caused by moisture in the system.
This resulted in the aircraft making a sudden nose-up move which made the B-2 stall and crash. This was 1 of only 21 ever built and was the most expensive aviation accident in history. Both pilots were able to eject to safety.

# 7. Exxon Valdez - $2.5 Billion

The Exxon Valdez oil spill was not a large one in relation to the world's biggest oil spills, but it was a costly one due to the remote location of Prince William Sound (accessible only by helicop= ter and boat). On March 24, 1989, 10.8 million gallons of oil was spilled when the ship's master, Joseph Hazelwood, left the controls and the ship crashed into a Reef. The cleanup cost Exxon $2.5 billion.

# 6. Piper Alpha Oil Rig - $3.4 Billion

The world ' s worst off-shore oil disaster. At one time, it was the world's single largest oil producer, spewing out 31,000 barrels of oil per day.
On July 6, 1988, as part of routine maintenance, technicians removed and checked safety valves which were essential in preventing dangerous build-up of liquid gas. There were 100 identical safety valves which were checked. Unfortunately, the technicians made a mistake and forgot to replace one of them. At 10 PM that same night, a technician pressed a start button for the liquid gas pumps and the world's most expensive oil rig accident was set in motion.

Within 2 hours, the 300 foot platform was engulfed in flames. It eventually collapsed, killing 167 workers and resulting in $3.4 Billion in damages.

# 5. Challenger Explosion - $5.5 Billion

The Space Shuttle Challenger was destroyed 73 seconds after takeoff due on January 28, 1986 due to a faulty O-ring. It failed to seal one of the joints, allowing pressurized gas to reach the outside. This in turn caused the external tank to dump its payload of liquid hydrogen causing a massive explosion. The cost of replacing the Space Shuttle was $2 billion in 1986 ($4.5 billion in today's dollars).
The cost of investigation, problem correction, and replacement of lost equipment cost $450 million from 1986-1987 ($1 Billion in today's dollars).


# 4. Prestige Oil Spill - $12 Billion

On November 13, 2002, the Prestige oil tanker was carrying 77,000 tons of heavy fuel oil when one of its twelve tanks burst during a storm off Galicia , Spain . Fearing that the ship would sink, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting them to take the ship into harbour. However, pressure from local authorities forced the captain to steer the ship away from the coast. The captain tried to get help from the French and Portuguese authorities, but they too ordered the ship away from their shores. The storm eventually took its toll on the ship resulting in the tanker splitting in half and releasing 20 million gallons oil into the sea.
According to a report by the Pontevedra Economist Board, the total cleanup cost $12 billion.


# 3. Space Shuttle Columbia - $13 Billion

The Space Shuttle Columbia was the first space-worthy shuttle in NASA's orbital fleet. It was destroyed during re-entry over Texas on February 1, 2003 after a hole was punctured in one of the wings during launch 16 days earlier. The original cost of the shuttle was $2 Billion in 1978. That comes out to $6.3 Billion in today ' s dollars. $500 million was spent on the investigation, making it the costliest aircraft accident investigation in history. The search and recovery of debris cost $300 million.

In the end, the total cost of the accident (not including replacement of the shuttle) came out to $13 Billion according to the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics.

# 2. Chernobyl - $200 Billion

On April 26, 1986, the world witnessed the costliest accident in history. The Chernobyl disaster has been called the biggest socio-economic catastrophe in peacetime history. 50% of the area of Ukraine is in some way contaminated. Over 200,000 people had to be evacuated and resettled while 1.7 million people were directly affected by the disaster. The death toll attributed to Chernobyl , including people who died from cancer years later, is estimated at 125,000. The total costs including cleanup, resettlement, and compensation to victims has been estimated to be roughly $200 Billion. The cost of a new steel shelter for the Chernobyl nuclear plant will cost $2 billion alone. The accident was officially attributed to power plant operators who violated plant procedures and were ignorant of the safety requirements needed.


# 1. Gordon Brown - $300 Billion since he came to power

Since he came to power Gordon Brown has spent $300 Billion with soaring public spending, together with propping up the banks the ailing economy which he also presided over as Chancellor.

Saturday, 30 May 2009

You're Nicked

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Parked up legally and feeling rather chuffed as you finish work for the day? Don't be quite so cocky if it's in Lambeth, London.

Some burd always parked around the corner from her house, so it came as a shock when she discovered the car disappeared and in its place were double yellow lines. Her confusion deepened when the council claimed to have no knowledge of where her car was.

Three weeks later the council admitted that its contractors were behind the disappearance, and then adding insult to injury they advised her she owed more than £800 in fines.

The car had been carefully lifted out of the way for the double yellows to be painted then replaced on the new restrictions by the contractors responsible. The same day a different set of parking enforcers spotted the "illegally parked" car, and had it towed away- after photographing it on the newly painted double yellows.

Lambeth Council blamed a "breakdown in communication" between its contractors and has now offered the lady£150 compensation. Quality piece of back tracking.

Gimme Five

EL PASO, Texas (AP) -- What do you call a high-five that misses? Many would just call it awkward, but an El Paso school principal calls it assault. The misfire came last week when schools superintendent Lorenzo Garcia was giving principals high-fives while celebrating state test scores. When Garcia came to Barron Elementary School principal Mary Helen Lechuga and she didn't raise her hand, he tapped her on the head instead.

But Lechuga - a former district administrator who was recently demoted - filed a police complaint saying she felt pain and feared what he might do next.

Garcia said she's a disgruntled employee and her complaint is petty.

The El Paso Times reported Thursday that school district police are investigating.

Ordinarily I'd have commented "only in America" but sadly I don't feel this is the case any more. Nowadays people seem to want to get rich quick and will do anything to achieve this goal. What a sad and desperate place this world is becoming. :-(

What Camera?

Cool. Cops in Australia who are after a pay rise of 15% over three years have only been offered 9.5%. They are understandably none too chuffed and so have decided on a "work to rule policy", which includes taking up their right to a 40-minute lunch break.

Better still, they are refusing to issue traffic fines and undermining Multanova (the region Plod are stationed in) revenue by parking in front of the cameras to alert drivers to their presence. You can bet that most drivers will be hoping this industrial action continues for a long time to come. :o)

Full article here.

No Shagging- Really

Last month, an Asian massage parlor in Eden Prairie called Planet Shikoku Rejuvenation Station got busted by undercover cops for alleged prostitution. It's hardly a stop press story, but it's the way they advertised their "services" in the local paper that may have been their downfall:

Men are from Mars!
Women are from Venus,
We understand that sometimes,
It's all about the Penis!

But there's NO UNHAPPY ENDINGS here,
Because we don't do anything wrong,
We will stroke your ego,
Not your ding dong!

Enjoy our tender loving care,
You can completely relax,
Have fun and never worry,
There are NO sex acts!

Don't be shy, no need to hide,
No need to cover or to camouflage,
Just remember, the better you behave,
The better we massage!

Now introducing the THAI BUTTERFLY massage!
(A special treat for our best behaving clients!)

Talk about subtle... :0)

Erm, I'm Sure I Know This One- Honest

According to a survey conducted for Toshiba, 86% of Americans are unaware that DVD is an acronym that stands for either Digital Video Disc or Digital Versatile Disc. Bless.

Halt, Who Goes There?

I'm not the most patient person when it comes to people flogging you stuff as you go about your business. Cold callers, foot in the door salespeople, hawkers- they can all go and bog off. In Malaysia they seem to have yet another angle for selling you tat; standing at the top (or bottom) of escalators and as you alight, they thrust fliers at you, whether you want them or not.

Even if you keep your head down, DMEC and thrust your hands stubbornly into your pockets, they march directly in front of you as you're conveyored (is that a legit word? It is now) at them and you have to dodge around the stubborn/determined parasites or risk causing a bottleneck with the rest of the shoppers piling up behind you.

And if you dare to ignore them they mark you out for a more determined attack on your way back and they aren't afraid to use the paper cut assassination technique either. The bastards.

How it Works


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Now This is Good News

If it comes off. From TTel:

Sources close to the negotiations say that Mark Thompson, the BBC director general, is leading talks with Eric Schmidt, Google’s chief executive and chairman about rolling out an international version of the BBC iPlayer, supported in some way by Google-owned video sharing site YouTube.

However the process has been mired by the need for international rights clearance for the BBC programmes currently shown on the iPlayer in the UK. The BBC iPlayer allows viewers to watch popular BBC programmes for up to seven days after they were first broadcast.

BBC content is also available on YouTube in the UK, but only in short clip format. This step would mean BBC shows could be seen globally in their entirety on the iPlayer platform supported by YouTube. Although no details about the business structure have emerged, it is though internet users would be able to access the content for free.

A BBC spokesperson said: “There are a significant number of obstacles to extending this commercially to other countries, including international rights clearance. These obstacles present significant difficulties and for this reason there are no firm plans for a specific international BBC iPlayer, but audiences can watch BBC content outside the UK through numerous BBC Worldwide content deals with online partners such as iTunes.”

Separate talks are understood to be happening concurrently between YouTube and BBC Worldwide, the commercial arm of the corporation, about making the BBC’s archive content, for which international licenses have already been acquired, available on YouTube in their entirety. This follows on from a lucrative deal struck between YouTube and BBC Worldwide in America to broadcast a selection of its content in full. Industry pundits predict the deal will pave the way for a similar deal in the UK.

Although a YouTube spokesperson refused to confirm talks about an international iPlayer were taking place, they said: “The BBC is one of YouTube's oldest partners and for over two years we've worked with various parts of the BBC to support the distribution, promotion and monetisation of their content.”

Let's hope it's sooner than later.

Airport Pirates

The first security scanner that can see through bottles and detect whether they contain explosive liquid will start trials next month at Newcastle Airport. The technology could allow the Department for Transport to lift restrictions on liquid in hand luggage, meaning passengers would again be allowed to carry bottles of any size on board.

The British-built scanner works by shining an X-ray through the liquid and detecting the “spectral signature” of the image recorded on the other side. Each type of liquid has a different “signature” and the machine has been programmed to distinguish between harmless ones, such as water or alcohol, and potential explosives such as hydrogen peroxide.

About time too- this OTT ban has been in place since August 2006 after the discovery of an alleged British terrorist plot to blow up transatlantic flights. Within weeks most other countries adopted the same restrictions and the airports have been fleecing passengers ever since.





The ban has cost Britain’s aviation industry more than £100 million in security costs. BAA, which has seven British airports, had to employ 3 500 more screening staff. Two tonnes of alcohol a month are still being confiscated at Heathrow alone, along with thousands of bottles of perfume and toiletries. At Newcastle Airport, security staff seize and destroy more than 750 bottles a day.

More Credit to the Bayview

Our hotel underwent a major overhaul of its internet system in the New Year. At the time, we had quite a few niggles but it was better in the long run and they have since installed a fast, solid and reliable product. They also took the opportunity to amend their pricing structure, which is steep to say the least.

However, our long term deal includes full internet access, free of charge so we're not bothered and it's been absolutely fine until last night, when we kept losing the connection. Every ten minutes or so, we'd drop out and then a few minutes later we'd be asked to re-enter our password to gain access to the internet again. We'd comply, but the tab we were using would disappear and it became more than frustrating as this went on for a whole hour before I got the arse and packed it in for the night.

Today I met up with their IT chap who checked things through (including our lappie and all connections/settings) but he could not locate the fault. Hopefully it was a one off, but in conversation I mentioned that the Vaio was due back for repair and how would the unique password work with our Mini HP? It wouldn't, but straight away he arranged for us to get another password and so we should be able to keep in touch via the HP. Great service with a smile.

Unlucky people, we don't go off air so easily.

Barbecue Summer

Britain will bask in the first heatwave of the year this weekend with temperatures topping 27 C in a scorching start to the "barbecue summer". Meteorologists say the next few days will see the hottest temperatures of the year; well above the seasonal average of 19 C and hotter than the Italian and French Rivieras. There is even a chance that in the south the temperatures may reach the benchmark of 30 C.

The "fine, dry and sunny" spell is the perfect start to what the Met Office has described as the "barbecue summer" because they are expecting temperatures to be above average and rainfall to be low. A meteorologist at the Met Office said:

"In meteorological terms, the summer starts on 1st June and it is pleasing that it has thrown up some settled warm and even hot temperatures. It's a nice start to the barbecue summer."

I'm not going to comment on temperatures as we average over 30 C every day, but we are also in the rainy season and currently we get one day hot and dry and the next wet and dry with rain falling like it's coming out of a tap for an hour or so. Then it all clears up and an hour later it's all bone dry again.

Anyway, hope the weather holds in Britland and it stays around for a bit. And that goes for the north east too.

SABIP

Who? Strategic Advisory Board for Intellectual Property Policy, and according to them 4.73 billion songs and videos being downloaded for free each year by over 7 million Brits, costing the economy billions of pounds and affecting thousands of jobs. Music downloading had "become part and parcel of the social fabric of our society despite its illegal status", the report found.

The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI and yet another snappy title) estimates that there were 890 million illegal free music downloads through file sharing in the UK in 2007 compared with 140 million paid downloads. This puts unauthorised access at a ratio of six to one, before off-line sharing like disk burning is even considered.

Yes, it's theft and yes, people are losing out financially but it's also theft to charge over £15 for a CD or DVD that can legally be bought in another country for £3. Sort out a fair price for a uniform product and perhaps then you'll see people changing their attitudes.

More at TTel.


Q & A With Dave

It's along post, but David Cameron answers questions from the readers of the Telegraph:

Obviously, you were astonished by the detail of abuse of MPs’ expenses. But you would have been aware of the widespread practise of claiming allowances that were not justified. Why did you support this system until the Telegraph exposed it?

John Hodgeman,London

What I did at the beginning of 2008 was the right to know form which was a really big attempt to reform the system, particularly for the future. I would accept that the problem with the right to know form was it didn’t deal with the years 2004-08 but it absolutely dealt with the future. It meant that for the future Tory MPs started doing this a year ago way before the HoC, had to set out how many people they employed, whether any were family members, what they claimed under the different headings, broken down into relatively small numbers so everyonecould see what they were claiming for. One of the reasons for doing that was to effectively put a stop to claims that were within the rules but without common sense and at the same time we had a three line whip on an opposition motion. Something never done before on a HoC matter, to get rid of the John Lewis list and to ban furniture claims. So I don’t accept that I did nothing. I would say that I was the first out of the box on this but I do accept that what I was doing was addressing the future. The past,the FoI act was always going to take care of and we supported the FoI process but I thought the most important thing was to sort out the future. But I have been genuinely shocked by the stuff that people have claimed. I didn’t know it was legal and didn’t think it would cross people’s minds.

I’m ashamed by what’s happened.There are the things that are the sort of fastidiousness of ministers hiring accountants to fill in their tax returnsand getting the tax payer to pay for it. That never occurred to me that people would or could do that. But also, like others, the swimmingpools, the moats, the duck ponds.The lack of common sense and reasonableness has been shocking. Why didn’t we know more about this? I did over a year ago put in place something that would help sort it out for the future.

Which is most important to you: your country and its people or your party?

RobinGaskell, Hartford,Cheshire

Country comes before party everytime. I say to MPs when you get into parliament remember you must vote according to your conscience and then your view of the national interest and your view of your constituents interests and then your party.That is the way it should go. Country always comes first. One of my great Conservative heroes, Robert Peel, didn’t do a lot for the Conservative party but he did a lot for the country.

What are the moral principles that shape Conservative policies?

Roger Steare, Seveonoaks

That we have obligations to others. That we should look to working together with other people.We should try to be responsible in what we do for ourselves and ou rfamilies and our communities and our country and we should focus on those responsibilities rather than always thinking about the responsibility of the state. I think the most important word in Conservatism is responsibility. Yes, we’re a party of freedom and we believe in setting people free to make choices but at heart the strong society that we believe in is delivered by people acting responsibly. That’s why in a way this scandal is so damaging because how can we talk about the need for responsibility in the economy or in society when politicians have been so irresponsible.That’s why we have to get our own house in order.

In order to persuade young people to vote Conservative it’s essential to lose the image of the party being of the rich and privileged. Will you actively deter these types from standing in the next election in the seats that have become vacant and would you consider keeping such figures as Osborne in the background at least until after the election?

Jane O’Nions, Sevenoaks

The Conservative party is a party that believes in meritocracy and opportunity,that believes that talent should be rewarded. I appoint people according to their talent. If you take Osborne or Letwin they hold their positions in the cabinet because of their talent. A problem the party has had is we haven’t been open enough to all of the talent in all of the country.Yes, I have battered the selection process of candidates many times and changed the rules and introduced open primaries and things like that in order to bring in more talent. And one of the most important founding principles of the Conservative party is that we area one nation party, we do not believe in the two nations of the rich and the poor.As a one nation party we have to work harder to get people from every different background into the party. This should be anopportunity to do that.

The complacency of sitting MPs in safe seats was a major factor leading to the expenses scandal.The Conservative party has been using open primaries in some areas. Will you extend these to all constituencies in the future, including those with a sitting Tory MP, so that ordinary voters can choose who their MP will be everytime they vote Conservative?

Moshin Khan, Oxford

I want more open primaries. We’ve had them in many constituencies. We also had the largest open primary for the mayor of London candidate for which they chose Boris. I’m in favour of open primaries.There are very simple procedures for anyone who wants to run for selection in a sitting MP's seat. 10% or 200 have to ask for it, whichever is the smaller number. It’s up to associations if they want to do that. Primaries should become much more relevant in selections. I don’t say make it universal because I’m not sure that would be the right approach in every case but I’d like to see many more. It’s not just enough to open up the system, you’ve got to get more people into the system. You’ve got to make sure that people coming on to the candidates list are talented, varied, that there are women and ethnic minorities. It’s not enough just to open the door and say we’re meritocratic, come in. If all anyone sees are white middle aged male faces they don’t find it very attractive to come in. You have to work quite hard. Positive action rather than positive discrimination to get people to come in.

You have expressed a wish to see ‘ordinary people’ offering themselves for selection to stand for election as MPs.How do you define ‘ordinary people’ and what qualities do you see as essential in MPs if we are to renew the political life of the country?

Anne Pitt-Payne, Aylesbury, Bucks

I think there are some core essentials that anyone wanting to be an MP has to have which is a belief in public service, a belief in the power of politics to bring real change. If you don’t believe in those things there’s not much point in doing it. What I hope you will get and I don’t like using the phrase ‘ordinarypeople’ but what I hope we will get is people from different backgrounds and experiences to bring into the Commons greater variety. There aren’t enough people in the Commons with a small business background.There’s a shortage of people who really understand agriculture and farming.There aren’t enough people on the Conservative side who have worked in some of the key public services. I’d like to see people who’ve been successful head teachers. There are a variety of experiences you want to bring to bear to parliament but the core has got to be a belief in public service and that politics can change things.

People are so disillusioned with politics that it’s difficult at a local level to interest people in participating but this is where real party strength comes from. What can be done to make party membership more relevant to ordinary people?

Dorothy Roberts, Wellington,Telford

It’s a very good question. How do you make party membership relevant? Well, being very clear what powers the party members have.They elect the leader, they play a big role in electing local candidates, they can have a say on policy, they can be involved in campaigns. I think the party has a lot to learn from other membership organisations that are more successful than us. The National Trust, RSPCA, there are many organisations that are better at looking after their members than we are.I think we have to learn from that.The other thing is to strengthen local government. If we devolve power from Westminster to local government I think you’ll get more people of more quality who want to get involved in local government and that will bring people into the party in that way.

What steps will you take in order to restore the country’s confidence not only in its parliament but also in the capabilities of individual members of that Parliament even though they may recently have been found guilty of excessive greed?

Richard Fontes, Wrexham

It’s not going to be easy because this has been a big shock to the political system..You can’t just wave a magic wand and think everything’s going to be fine. We’re going to have to rebuild that confidence brick by brick. One other frustrations people have with parliament and their MPs is that ‘we send you to parliament, the whips get control, you all just vote the same way, the bell goes, everyone troops through the voting lobbies’. Where’s the individuality? Where’s the conscience voting? Where’s the free voting, the argument, debate,discussion? Where’s the detailed scrutiny of legislation. We need to give parliament more independence from the executive, give MPs the opportunity for greater independence, make sure there’s a different career path to just being a minister and climbing the greasy pole.That’s being a legislator, a scrutineer, someone who brings the government to account.That’s why you’ve got to get the select committees out of the hands of the whips and elect the chairman and the members of the committees so people can start seeing individual legislators as people with power and influence and a role rather than seeing parliament as some giant sausage machine that just churns out legislation that hasn’t been scrutinised properly.

How could we ensure that in the future those that we elect actually have a sound, a genuine, understanding of what serving the community means?

Margaret Scott, Stevenage

If you look at parliament at the moment of the three things it’s meant to do it does one well and two pretty badly. The one it does well is individual MPs are effective at standing up for their local area. What it does badly is scrutinise legislation badly and call the government to account fairly badly.So we need to focus on those two other roles. I also think we will build confidence in parliament by making it smaller and less expensive. 650 MPs is too many and part of the process of rebuilding trust is to show everyone else that in parliament we do what we’re asking everyone else to do which is do more for less.

Many MPs in seeking to explain their expense claims have stated that as a salary increase could not be justified to the public they should inflate their expenses accordingly. Would Mr Cameron agree that these actions were effectively a conspiracy to defraud the Public and that anyone party to this conspiracy should face the full force of theLaw?

Jeffrey Burnman, Stevenage

You’ve got to separate two things.Was there a conspiracy by all parties to hold back the pay but increase the allowances? Yes, there was.There’s no doubt. You can go back to the 70s and 80s. It shouldn’t have happened but it did. Point two is if people have actually broken the law in claiming expenses, like mortgage payment for mortgages that don’t exist, should they be subject to the full force of the law. Yes, of course they should. I’ve said it’s not for me to call in the police but the police know what the law is and if they feel it’s been broken they should be able to look at that without fear or favour.

Why should the electorate have confidence in your ability to reform when you commend those who have brought the house into disrepute. I refer to your comments following the proposed resignation of the Wintertons thanking them for their ‘service, energy and commitment’.

Tom Moore, Newcastle

In the case of the Wintertons I’ve said what I’ve said in the past about their expense claims and I don’t go bac kon that but you also have to look at the fact that they were servants of the House of Commons. He was the select committee chairman of a very effective health committee. He was on the Speaker's panel. She played all sorts of roles on the front bench.They have provided a ot of public service in their parliamentary lives and I’m a great believer in the value of politeness. When people stand down from parliament after a long career when they have contributed things then it’s polite to say so

Why should members who have so blatantly departed from the terms of the Green Book be considered as anything less than benefit cheats yet allowed to continue in post, drawing theirallowances etc until the next election?

Jim Buckingham, Nuneaton,Warwickshire

People have actually broken the rules and the rules are pretty rubbish rules and the Green Book is a pretty rubbishy Green Book. But the people who have broken the rules should be subject to the full force of the system that’s already in place.The parliamentary commissioner for standards, the standards and privileges committee and as is the case with Derek Conway was excluded from the Commons and had his pay reduced. Anyone who breaks the rules there are already those sanctions in place. The difficult thing we’ve been grasping with is what do you do with people who behaved in a way that wasn’t right but who didn’t break the rules.As far as I can see I’m the only party leader who’s actually put in place a system to do something about that. Which is this scrutiny panel and when you see how much is going to be paid back by how many people I think you will see there’s been a very rigorous process to deal with a system that’s fundamentally broken.

You have in the past described yourself as the ‘heir to Blair’. How can voters be sure that you have not inherited Blair’s tendency to promise to empower the people while in opposition, only to ignore that promise once in power?

John Gordon, Datchworth Green,Hertfordshire

I would say you can judge by some of the actions I did in the case of theLondon mayoralty, open it up to all Londoners irrespective of their party. We have had a lot of open primaries where the party has given up power. If you look at the things I said in that speech this week, many of them I said in my leadership campaign in 2005 about greater independence for select and standing committees and parliament having more control of its timetable and all the rest of it and to me a part of being a Conservative is wanting to win power in order to give it away. That may sound odd but that is actually what I believe.

Would you please say what measures you would put in place to ensure that proposed laws are a) better drafted and b)properly debated before being enacted?

Julian Lea Jones, Bristol

The most important thing is to give the HoC more control over its timetable and to make sure that we don’t have these automatic guillotines for bills. Right now what happens is a new bill arrives, we immediately have a programme motion which means we set out the timetable for debate even before we’ve debated the bill and in some cases this means that whole clauses will actually never get debated on the floor of the House of Commons. It is really disgraceful so you have to give the House more control of its timetable, you have to have many fewer of these programme motions, far fewer guillotines and also I think when the bill goes into a standing committee you should by and large take the party whips off and then bring it back to the House. Of course if it’s been changed so it’s no longer what was in the manifesto then the government may want to change it back but they’d have to explain that openly. So, far better scrutiny, far more detailed scrutiny and making sure that committee stage really means something. Stop pretending that passing laws equals making progress. One of the problems with this government has been its whole programme on how macho it is at thrusting laws through parliament. If we’ve learnt anything from the last ten years it’s that 54 criminal justice bills don't make us a safer country.

Businesses are suffocating under red tape and the country has become a nanny state. What assurances can he give that instead of adding more laws he will actively start dismantling a lot of these ridiculous rules and regulations?

John Cristal, Crowborough, East Sussex

Absolutely.We should try and limit the laws that we do pass and look at things like regulatory budgets where you say to a department ‘your regulation costs £100M, next year it’s got to cost £90M, then £80M, then £70M'. So you start to hack away at regulations rather than trying to pass more. When you look at the amount of regulation that comes from Brussels a lot of this you’ve got to stop at source. I was at an agricultural show yesterday. The electronic tracking of sheep is going to cost the British farmers a vast amount of money. It’s going to improve our animal welfare by zero. It’s a complete waste of money. We’ve got the biggest flock of sheep in Europe but what has ourgovernment done to stop this coming? Nothing. They should have stopped it. So it means you’ve got to be prepared to say no and actually stamp on things at the moment at which they’re suggested.

As a former member of the Armed Forces, I’d like to ask Mr Cameron if he would endorse the provision of state-owned Parliamentary accommodation for MPs, instead of a second homeallowance? The nominal cost of this would be paid for out of their own salary as is the case with service accommodation in the Armed Force.

Stuart Seear, Newlyn, Cornwall

We’ve got to improve the Armed Forces' accommodation. I don’t think this idea of state-owned accommodation for MPs is a good one. The problem to me is this. A lot of MPs try to keep our family together as we move between the constituency and Westminster.The old fashioned idea that you leave your husband or wife at home while you’re up in parliament, I don’t think that’s a good way to keep family life together.

Would Mr Cameron be wiling to call a referendum on the UK remaining in the EU and if the majority was against would he withdraw our membership?

Richard Youens, Rushall Pewsey

I support our membership of the EU. I want us to change the EU so I don’t support an in/out referendum. I don’t think it’s right for Britain and I don’t think it’s what the country’s after. I think the country does though want a referendum on the EU constitution which they were promised by all their political parties and the best way to get it is to vote Conservative on 4th une and put the maximum pressure on Brown to keep to his promise.

Would it be possible to submit the,say, five major programmes in a manifesto for an online referendum to confirm if the goals have been achieved before the following general election? Failure of two or more would force a general election.Past goals might have included, say, an effective immigration control programme or referendum on the LisbonTreaty.

Jeremy Burton, Shurlock Row, Berks

Intriguing question. We live in a representative democracy where we elect a parliament and a government to govern, to make tough decisions, to get on with the business of government and then to ask at the end of a parliament ‘do you want us to continue or do you want to chuck us out’. think that should be the core of our system. Can we do more in terms of engaging people? Yes, do we want to have local initiatives so people in Sherlock Row want to vote on whether they want a leisure centre or a bypass? Yes, fine. But I’m not sure that that proposal as set out by your reader would work as well as your reader thinks.

Why should the public vote for anyone in the local or MEP elections next month if members of all three main parties are caught up in the expenses scandal?

Tim Hawkins, Doncaster

People should vote in the European elections for parties that they think represent their views inEurope.That is what these elections are really about. If you want the referendum then Conservatives are the biggest party promising a referendum, that’s a reason to vote Conservative. If you want MEPs in Brussels that are going to fight regulations that hit our farmers and fight regulations that hit businesses and that are going to stand up for Britain, that’s a reason to vote for a Conservative MEP. I know people are wanting to kick the major parties and vote for the minor parties but I would say: UKIP said lend us your vote five years ago and what have you had from UKIP. They voted to allow Spanish fishing vessels into British fishing waters. They’ve been a completely useless set of MEPs.

You have promised to ‘give serious thought’ to the possibility of fixed-term parliaments. Any sensible observer will recognise this as a slippery form of words, a traditional politician’s ploy. As a politician now professedly committed to transferring power to the powerless, will you give an open undertaking that, if you come to power, you will establish a Royal Commission on electoral and parliamentary reform and submit its proposals to a referendum?

Dr H P Hughes, Cambridge

No I don’t think that’s the right answer. Royal Commissions take minutes and last for years. I don’t think we’ve got that long to sort out our political system. The test should be for each proposal: does it pass power from the powerful to the powerless. In my view electoral reform, proportional representation, fails that test because you end up with a system that leads to more coalitions, more back room deals and you suddenly find the governments determined not by the voter but by the party leaders in smoke filled rooms. Oneof the beauties of our system is that you can kick a government out, you can get change through our general elections and I don’t want to change that. Fixed term parliaments, the arguments are getting stronger because we should be trying to reduce the power of the executive and increase the power of parliament. The only problem, and I want to be consistent here as I’ve been calling for an election ever since Brown took over because I didn’t think he had a mandate, is with changing a PM half way through a parliament when the previous one had said he’d serve a full term.

Why has the Conservative party failed to coherently articulate its vision for the future of the British Armed Forces when it remains clear that we are both losing in Afghanistan and singularly ill prepared to meet future threats?

Henry Jordan, Oxford

The problem is we need to have a proper national security-led strategic defence review and it is quite difficult in opposition to do that because you don’t have all the information at your fingertips. But I think it’s the right answer for making sure that we match our defence procurement and armed forces to the tasks we want to set them.

If you become PM, what will you do for children?

Edward Buckton (aged 9), Burnham on Sea

Make sure that our education system gets the basics right. We’ve got to teach reading and writing in a more traditional way. We’ve got to make sure we teach history properly. We’ve got to have proper discipline and order in our schools. Getting that right is the most important thing for the future of our country.

Phil Spector Banged Up

Phil Spector, the music producer, has been sentenced to 19 years to life behind bars after being found guilty last month of murdering an actress at his mansion six years ago. The maximum sentence is usually 15 years, but the deputy district attorney, argued Spector should face an additional four years for personal use of a gun in the crime.

An odd plea. How else would one shoot someone?

Friday, 29 May 2009

All English "Team" GB

I'm not sure they understand the idea behind a Great British team. Apparently, a "British" football team looks set to play at the London Olympics for the first time in 40 years, but it is likely to be made up of only English players after the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish football associations said they would not participate. Instead they have agreed to drop their opposition to England going it alone, clearing one of the last major hurdles to a British team appearing at the 2012 Games.

The long-running wrangles over fielding a British squad for the London Olympics has been a hot political issue as the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish football associations fear it could threaten their independence. A joint letter from the four associations was sent to Fifa recently saying Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland would have no involvement in the Olympic tournament but would not prevent an England team from doing so. The deal will have to be ratified by Fifa before it is officially confirmed.

So the point of this is what then?



The last time Britain was represented in the Olympic football tournament was at the 1972 Games in Munich.

David Suchet

Click to Enlarge

A couple of nights ago we settled down to watch Murder in Mesopotamia, an Agatha Christie Poirot film, with David Suchet playing the lead role. As ever, he was splendid in the part and along with Jeremy Brett who plays another top 'tective, Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, they have truly made these characters their own.

Good news for Poirot fans then, as Suchet has committed to making another four programmes, and he said:

"After 21 years filming Poirot I am as excited as ever to be returning to the role and very much looking forward to filming with such a wonderful guest cast."

The first of the new series is to be The Clocks and should be out next year on ITV 1.

Urban Myth

Although there is a popular myth that a duck's quack does not echo, the opposite is true. In 2003, researchers at Texas A&M determined that a duck's quack will echo for the longest amount of time of any animal noise.

New Approach

Standard & Poor's is launching an index of large Canadian stocks with criteria defined by Islamic law– no companies with businesses in financial services, entertainment, alcohol, pork-related products or tobacco.

The index operator said yesterday the S&P/TSX 60 version, compliant with the Muslim code of law known as Sharia,

"will create new opportunities for Islamic investors to benchmark their Canadian investments, and for asset managers to create new investment products serving the Islamic community."

The S&P/TSX 60 shariah index joins the operator's sharia-compliant indexes in 51 other markets, including the S&P 500 shariah, S&P Europe 350 shariah, S&P Japan 500 shariah and S&P CNX Nifty (Indian market) shariah.

I wonder how it will fare?

Catsup?

Reading John Grisham's "The Innocent Man" he refers to catsup. Wot? After much nut scratching, it dawns on me he means ketchup. Bloody American spellings:

[Q] Why is ketchup also called catsup?

[A] Ketchup was one of the earliest names given to this condiment, so spelled in Charles Lockyer’s book of 1711, An Account of the Trade in India: “Soy comes in Tubbs from Jappan, and the best Ketchup from Tonquin; yet good of both sorts are made and sold very cheap in China”. Nobody seems quite sure where it comes from, and I won’t bore you with a long disquisition concerning the scholarly debate on the matter, which is reflected in the varied origins given in major dictionaries. It’s likely to be from a Chinese dialect, imported into English through Malay. The original was a kind of fish sauce, though the modern Malay and Indonesian version, with the closely related name kecap, is a sweet soy sauce.

Like their Eastern forerunners, Western ketchups were dipping sauces. I’m told the first ketchup recipe appeared in Elizabeth Smith’s book The Compleat Housewife of 1727 and that it included anchovies, shallots, vinegar, white wine, sweet spices (cloves, ginger, mace, nutmeg), pepper and lemon peel. Not a tomato in sight, you will note — tomato ketchup was not introduced until about a century later, in the US, and caught on only slowly. It was more usual to base the condiment on mushrooms, or sometimes walnuts.

The confusion about names started even before Charles Lockyer wrote about it, since there is an entry dated 1690 in the Dictionary of the Canting Crew which gives it as catchup, which is another Anglicisation of the original Eastern term. Catchup was used much more in North America than in Britain: it was still common in the middle years of the nineteenth century, as in a story in Scribner’s Magazine in 1859: “I do not object to take a few slices of cold boiled ham ... with a little mushroom catchup, some Worcester sauce, and a pickle or so”. Indeed, catchup continued to appear in American works for some decades and is still to be found on occasion.

There were lots of other spellings, too, of which catsup is the best known, a modification of catchup. You can blame Jonathan Swift for it if you like, since he used it first in 1730: “And, for our home-bred British cheer, Botargo, catsup, and caveer”. [Caveer is caviar; botargo is a fish-based relish made of the roe of the mullet or tunny.] That form was also once common in the US but is much less so these days, at least on bottle labels: all the big US manufacturers now call their product ketchup.

Simple question: complicated answer!

From World Wide Words

Shit + Fan

Using a leaf blower to clear leaves from a typical 1/4 acre piece of property will cause approximately 1.27 lbs of animal fecal matter to become airborne. Approximately 7.4 ounces will remain airborne for more than 30 minutes.

I Say

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

- Evan Esar

Brits on Tour. Erm, Wait a Minute...

Almost half of all Germans are embarrassed by their boorish countrymen abroad, according to a new poll. But there might not be so much to worry about this summer, as the bad economy leads more Teutons to holiday at home.

Some 45 percent of those surveyed by Reader’s Digest Deutschland reported having been bothered at least once by their compatriots’ tacky behaviour in foreign lands, the magazine reported ahead of its June edition.

Meanwhile 69 percent of those questioned said they’d been horrified by the condescending tone some Germans take with locals.

Sixty-seven percent said they found public intoxication to be a problem with other Germans, and 64 percent said exaggerated complaints were also mortifying.

The level of embarrassment for the 1,002 poll participants rose in proportion to their level of education, the magazine reported. Only 12 percent of those with low-level educations were dismayed by inappropriate behaviour, while some 61 percent of those with a university education said they had been ashamed by gauche conduct.

These Germans may be spared a bit of discomfort this vacation season, though, because the financial crisis has prompted many to vacation within their own country, German petrol station and rest stop chain Serways said on Wednesday.

In a reader poll conducted for the chain by data-analyst Forsa, Germans said were most likely to visit the states of Bavaria, Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania and Schleswig-Holstein if they vacation at home.

Germans’ least favourite in-country destination is cities, though Berlin was an exception. Young people between the ages of 18 and 29-years-old were most likely to head to vacation there, the poll found.

I'd say that's about right and the Brits are no better in our experience. I'm sure other countries are also as poor but we can't speak the language so ignorance is bliss. From The Local.

Canadian Holiday? Most Would

A country I've not been to (although wifey has; she has relatives in Alberta) but we intend to at some point. Assuming we can save up enough cash- it's terrifyingly expensive. Still, it seems I am not alone in wanting to visit:

Let's say you had unlimited resources and were able to pick one country in the world to visit.

Where would you go?

Canada, right?

Right?

No? Well, then, you're out of step with the rest of the world, according to a recent global survey conducted by Anholt-GfK Roper Nation Brand Index.

Canada, which I sometimes like to think of as America's Hat, drew the top response to the statement, "I would like to visit this country if money were no object."

After Canada, the most popular countries for a theoretical visit were, in order: Italy, Australia, Switzerland and France. The United States ranked 10th out of 50.

I hadn't realized the world was so full of fans of hockey and maple syrup.

Canada's ranking "surprised a lot of people, but Canada has a lot going for it," said Xiaoyan Zhao, a senior vice president at the polling firm. "Canada doesn't have glamorous cities like Paris or London or Rome. But Canada was ranked No. 1 for natural beauty."

Iran filled the bottom spot in the poll. Saudi Arabia and Nigeria were Nos. 48 and 49, which makes a lot of sense -- unless you're looking to do a little duty-free shopping for crude oil.

The next least-favorite destinations were Estonia and Lithuania*. Who knew the world was so filled with Baltic-phobes?

I suspect that the respondents simply know little about the two small countries and, thus, skipped over them as possible destinations. That's what Zhao thinks, too.

"Lithuania and Estonia are primarily suffering from low visibility," she said. "We had some other very small nations, like Ecuador, that also scored very low.

"It's not that people have negative opinions about them; they just don't know them."

The Estonian capital, Tallinn, and the Lithuanian capital, Vilnius -- both founded in the Middle Ages -- are quite beautiful. They both have old-town sections included on the UNESCO World Heritage List and feature a wonderful architecture, many great museums and historic sites, and a well-educated populace.

Although Toronto is one of my favorite cities, given the choice I'd certainly opt for a trip to Tallinn or Vilnius.

Actually, I love visiting Canada. Perhaps our proximity has caused me to take it for granted.

And as long as you don't bad-mouth Gordie Howe or William Shatner, Canadians, as a rule, are a friendly folk.

On this, the world agrees with me: To the statement, "If I visited this country, the people would make me feel welcome," the top response, again, was Canada. The next-friendliest countries were Australia, Italy, New Zealand and Spain.

The countries perceived to be the least-friendly were Iran, Saudi Arabia, Nigeria, the United Arab Emirates and China.

The world ranked the United States 25th for perceived friendliness. Idiots.

From The Columbus Dispatch (don't ask)


*We've been to both and they rock. Absolutely fantastic places and deffo worth a visit.

Wouldn't You Just Love To?

Click to Enlarge

Chinatown

You're no doubt aware that there is a large Chinese population in Georgetown and it has a fascinating Chinatown that gives you an insight into the way the people live.

Unfortunately it was a ghost town today and I couldn't understand why. Then it struck me.

Manchester United lost the Final and their loyal fans were in mourning...

;-)

Big Ben Hits 150

Soon, so cop some factuals about the bells and the clock:

- The clock started keeping time on 31st May 1859; the bells began ringing on 11th July.

- Each face is lit by 27 low-energy, radio-controlled bulbs.

- The “Westminster” chimes were copied from Great St Mary’s in Cambridge.

- St Stephen’s Clock Tower was built without scaffolding, from the inside out.

- Tunnelling for the Jubilee line left the tower leaning 220mm (8.66 in) to the North-West.

- Big Ben was named either after the commissioner of works

- Sir Benjamin Hall, or the heavyweight boxer Benjamin Caunt.

- The bell was made in Whitechapel.

- The minute hand is 14-ft long, the hour hand is 9-ft long.

- The north and east faces of the clock have heaters to prevent the hands freezing.

- The clock face is cleaned by abseilers every five years.

- You can download the chimes as a ring tone from www.bigben.parliament.uk

Holding onto a Toast

Some more guff from yet another quack how is now telling the world he can tell a person's character by the way they hold their glass. He goes on to give an example in that Hillary Clinton raised her glass to a toast using her left hand, despite her being right handed. This was suggested as being "insincere". Clearly not a remarkable deduction as she is an MP, but I'm right handed and always drink with my left*- am I insincere too?

Anyway, the eight types that have been "discovered", from TTel:

1. The Flirt: Usually a woman, who holds her glass with dainty, splayed fingers and uses it in a provocative way. She may position it over her cleavage so as to draw attention to her attributes or peer over the rim to make eye contact when taking a sip. She may "tease" the rim of the glass with her finger, perhaps dipping it into the drink and sucking it dry. Assuming her agenda is appealing, the best way to approach is with reciprocal flirtatious gestures.

Celebrities: Jordan, Paris Hilton, Kate Walsh (from The Apprentice)

2. The Gossip: This (mainly female) drinker tends to cluster in all-female groups talking about other people, and can be critical. She holds a wine glass by the bowl and uses it to gesticulate and make points in conversation. She is inclined to lean over her drink, in towards others so as to speak confidentially. This person already has a close-knit social group with little inclination to extend it, therefore advances from outsiders are not usually welcome.

Celebrities: Kate Moss, Sadie Frost.

3. The Fun-lover: This type of drinker may be a man or a woman, who drinks to be sociable and values togetherness. A convivial individual, he / she enjoys being with their friends, and likes a laugh. Swigs taken from bottled drinks are short, so they don't miss out on chipping in with the conversation. The bottle is held loosely at its shoulder for ease. This type of person is always happy to extend their social circle. The best way to approach them therefore is to leap directly into light, good-humoured conversation and make them laugh.

Celebrities: Sarah Harding, Helen Chamberlain (from Soccer AM)

4. The Wallflower: This is a shy, submissive individual who holds the glass protectively, not letting go, as though afraid somebody will take it away. Palms are kept hidden and the glass is used as a social crutch – the drink is never quite finished, with a mouthful left in case of emergency. The drink is small (maybe half a pint of lager for a man). It may be drunk through a straw, which is fidgeted with, and used to stir the drink between sips. The style and pace of drinking is an echo of those around them (very little is initiated). This individual needs to be approached in a gentle, sensitive way, with perhaps a few understated compliments to build self-confidence, but may eventually warm to overtures.

Celebrities: Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman

5. The Ice-queen: This is a mainly female type whose natural style is cold and defensive. She drinks from a wine glass, or a short glass, which is held firmly in a barrier position across the body so as to deter intimate approaches. It is usually a waste of time approaching this woman; she may be ready with a castrating put-down.

Celebrities: Victoria Beckham, Debra Barr (from The Apprentice)

6. The Playboy

This man is the active, self-confident, Don Juan-type seducer. He uses his (usually long) glass or bottle as a phallic prop, playing with it suggestively. He is inclined to be possessive, and can be tactile with his female companions.

Celebrities: Russell Brand, David Walliams

7. The Jack the Lad: This "peacock" is conscious of his image and will drink a bottled beer, or cider. Inclined to be confident and arrogant, he can be territorial in his gestures, spreading himself over as much space as possible, for example, pushing the glass well away from himself and leaning back in his chair. If he's drinking with his mates, he would be unlikely to welcome approaches from outside the group, unless sycophantic and ego-enhancing.

Celebrities: Peter Andre, David Cameron, Jason Statham. The "ladette" (e.g. Lily Allen) is a female approximation to this male archetype.

8. The Browbeater: This rather pugnacious type is again mostly male. He prefers large glasses, or bottles, which he uses as symbolic weapons, firmly grasped, and gesticulating in a threatening, "in the face" kind of way. Something of a know-it-all, he comes across as slightly hostile, even if only through verbal argument, or jokes targeted at others. He should be approached with great care, or not at all.

Celebrities: John Prescott, Russell Crowe (with Naomi Campbell as a female equivalent), Gordon Brown.





*This goes back to when I used to smoke and as a right hander, I had more control over the fag in my stronger hand then my weaker left, which simply clung onto a pint glass. It's a habit I am stuck with today, but at least it's a reasonable explanation instead of this star gazing cobblers.

Del Boy

73% of undergraduate college students think they will be a millionaire before the age of 40.

Clearly they didn't major in mathematics...

Typos

You've got to love some of the translations that you come across. Tonight's freebie English movie on the TV is K19- the Window Maker...

Desperate Housewives

I've not really been into this, at least not in the UK. However, on our travels we've caught the odd episode and I have to say it's rather good.

I'm the kind of person who likes to watch things in order and having now become hooked on the show, we've finally managed to pick up the boxed sets of DVDs for both the first and second series for less than a tenner a set.

With three episodes per disc and six in each set we are certainly in for some prolonged telly watching. Bring it on. :0)

Chinese Laundry Revisited

Same place, new face (although we did spot the original burd yesterday) and once more the best of services. Three kilos of our clothes, washed, ironed and delivered back to our hotel on the day for a remarkable MYR 16. That's under three quid and still the best deal we've found anywhere in any country. :o)

Sky Plus?

Back in the UK we subscribed to satellite television and for the full package of films, sports and the whole shooting match. It cost us about fifty quid a month.

They've just been advertising the full package here in Malaysia with Astra- at MYR 12 a month. That's just over two quid for pretty much the same set of programmes. Rip off Britain? You decide...

Top Burd

Here's a nice tale for a change.

Some burd who had travelled the world with her Foreign Office hubby for thirty years was rather pleased when he retired and settled in the village of Solva, Pembrokeshire. They took to rural life as residents welcomed them with open arms, and the couple were soon members of social clubs, societies and the local chapel.

Sadly her husband died, but the villagers helped the lady to rebuild her life on her own, until her own death, several years later. As a thank you to the kind people of Solva, the old bid left them all £40 000 in her will.

Excellent, but I wonder how generous the tax man is going to be?

Stamping Down on Fraud


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Did you know that the "fraudulent" act of re-using old stamps costs the post office tens of thousands of pounds a year?

So meet the precautions they have introduced to prevent this heinous crime from continuing- tamper proof stamps. The stamps have the micro-text of "Royal Mail" printed on them, similar to the security features on banknotes and they have two oblong strips either side of the Queen's head which are left on the envelope when the stamp is peeled away. As a result, the stamp is left with two holes in it, rendering it useless.

Of course, no one has ever stuck a new stamp on in error before, have they? How petty.

Penny in the Piggy

More money saving tips that you may not have heard before, from TTimes:

1. Get a BabeeCard

Parents should join the BabeeCard (www.babeecard.com) prepaid card scheme, which offers discounts of up to 20 per cent at a number of high street retailers.

2. Join fixture Ferrets

For 10p a week you can join Fixture Ferrets (www.fixtureferrets.com), a website which will keep you up to date on the various offers available at supermarkets across the UK. It will even send you text alerts about the latest deals.

3. Visit the deal centre online

Sign up to www.dealcentre.co.uk or www.searchfreebies.co.uk for a comprehensive guide to the best promotions available across the internet.

4. Ask for a "rain check" voucher

If a special offer has run out, ask for a "rain check" voucher. Tesco, Sainsbury's and a number of other supermarkets offer the vouchers, which allow you to benefit from the offer the next time you are in the store, even after the promotion is over.

5. Do not assume that bigger packets mean better value

Some items, such as dog food or washing powder, can be more expensive in bigger packs. Check the price per 100g on the shelf label before buying in bulk.

6. Use vinegar in place of whiteners in your wash

Adding vinegar to your wash ensures your whites emerge from the washing machine whiter than white at a fraction of the cost. It also doubles as a stain remover if applied directly to your clothes.

7. Use baking powder in your wash

Add baking soda to your washing machine powder or dishwasher powder to make it last longer.

8. Use glycerine as a moisturiser

Glycerine is an effective moisturiser and is the foundation of many more expensive products on the market. However, it can be bought for next to nothing from you local chemist.

9. Create your own "mulch"

You can prevent soil from drying out around flowers and plants in your garden by adding "mulch", effectively a layer of any material used to cover the garden bed. However, instead of expensive options such as wood chippings or peat, collect fallen leaves or grass clippings and store in a black bag with some water until it is rotten then spread over the bedding.

10. Keep your fridge full

You can help your fridge work more effectively by keeping it full - use bottles of water to fill empty shelves. However, if you rarely fill your fridge, downgrade to a smaller model. You will save energy and are likely to buy and waste less food.

11. Make "mop-up squares" from old T-shirts

You can save money on kitchen cloths by cutting up old T-shirts to make square cloths you can use to wipe up spillages, suggests thrift expert Rebecca Ash.

12. Store bananas separately

Bananas release a gas which hastens the rate at which other fruit goes off.

13. Protect your apples in paper

You can keep apples for several months by wrapping each one in newspaper as it makes it much harder for rot to spread.

14. Do not put some fruit and veg in the fridge

Do not keep satsumas in the fridge as the cold can turn them to mush. The same is true of peppers, cucumbers, courgettes and marrows.

15. Store mushrooms in a wine rack

It may sounds silly but if you store mushrooms in a paper bag and keep them in a wine rack they will stay fresher for longer, according to experts.

16. Watch TV live

Instead of paying for theatre or cinema tickets, get free tickets to the filming or recording of TV or radio shows. Visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/tickets/ or http://www.itv.com/beontv/tickets/ for more information.

17. Save on train fares

Buy train tickets over the phone, even if you are already at the station - prices over the phone can be cheaper than buying from the ticket office directly.

18. Stay in a halls of residence

University halls of residence are much cheaper than hotels for city breaks.

19. Swap your old books for new

The website www.readitswapit.co.uk allows you to exchange the books you've already read for the books you want to read next. Postage is around £1.40 per book.

20. Buy eggs from your local farmers market

Farmers markets have become synonymous with expensive organic meat and cheese, but some items on sale at your local market are markedly cheaper than the supermarket, namely eggs. In some markets, you can buy a dozen of free-range eggs for half the price of the supermarkets.

Some quite neat ideas.

Here's a Thought

With Santander merging its three UK banks under one brand name (Abbey, Alliance & Leicester and Bradford & Bingley) this leads to an interesting predicament for its customers. Currently, savers are protected by a £50k government guarantee on all three accounts. Once it becomes just the one bank, they will only get the fifty thou once. Bummer.

It's a Wonderful Language

Worldwide, four out of five English speakers don't know the difference between "affect" and "effect."

I suspect most affected by this factual reside in the UK...

Seeing Old Friends

Georgetown has odd opening hours and most places close around 15:00 until 18:00 for some kind of siesta period. This makes locating breakfast a bit of a challenge (yes, our first meal of the day is usually this late) but one place we discovered last time was a Chinese run hotel/hostel type of gaff which also served food (great stir fry) and bottles of Tiger.

We dropped in last night and it was like an old school reunion, with beaming smiles and happy people showing us our old table and bringing us our usual round of drinks. The food was also as good as we remembered and we had a rather marvellous time. It's going to be fun staying in Malaysia again. :o)

Thursday, 28 May 2009

All Change

A short phone call informed us that our new/old room was ready and we were good to go. It was almost like coming home and if anything the room has improved since our last stay. Same awesome view, but proper feather duvets and pillows, great air-con, our sofa where it should be and the best walk in shower of our tour.

The shaver charge point in the bathroom wasn't working, but after a call to Reception, the engineer was at the door with minutes and he'd repaired the unit. The toothbrush was happy once again.

The new safe is bigger and more secure, our DVD player hooked up without effort and everything is working as it should. We're now unpacked and settled and can look forward to the next several weeks in absolute comfort and luxury. It's not a bad life.

Bye-Bye Abbey National

I've been an account holder with this then building society since I was 14 years of age. It was my first "bank" account and it's how I started to begin saving my meagre pocket money and birthday/Christmas cash from generous relatives.

In 2006, we left the UK and as the Abbey (as they had now been called for a number of years, since they became a bank) were unable to match the Nationwide, who guaranteed withdrawals without fees (funnily enough that is now over this month too) we moved over, after over 30 years of being a customer. I still have an account with them, in case of emergency but we walked out on them after their lack of cooperation and unwillingness to help and I haven't missed them in the least.

I mention this as Satander, the Spanish banking group who bought out the Abbey are to pull the name (and its other acquisitions) making the "Abbey habit" redundant. I won't be shedding a tear- their services have gone from good to plain awful in the last decade, where the staff are only interested in making their own lives easier and to hell with the customer.

To each and every request, it has always been "no" and that is not how to run any kind of business. I wonder how the re-brand will work but can't honestly say I'm overly bothered.

Last Visit

Some of you may have noticed a distinct lack of pictures of Georgetown from our last stay here- that was when my m-i-l visited us. Wifey did take loads of photies but for some reason, they must have got deleted in error as we couldn't locate them anywhere. We know they were taken as we put some of the better shots onto a memory pen and had them made into prints for wifey's mum, but thereafter, no idea.

Anyway, we'll be making amends in due course, so keep an eye open for them soon.

No Thought

I've just been out to grab some dosh from the ATM and queued up at one of the two cash points available, literally chilling under the air-con. Some older burd was at the machine in the other queue and on receiving her money, a large sum judging by the length of time it took to punt out the notes, she stood there and counted each and every bill.

As I concluded my transaction, she was still there, totalling up her pile completely ignoring the growing queue behind her. Why, thank you ever so much for consideration to others who need to get to work. Why not vacate the machine and allow someone else to use it while you painfully plough through your withdrawal. They're hardly likely to get it wrong now, are they, you selfish cow?

MIA

Having just mentioned Malaysian TV channels, here's an oddity. They have six offerings, Channels 1, 2 & 3 and then Channels 7, 8 & 9.

Anyone care to explain where 4, 5 & 6 went?

Oi- Pussyhorse

What a guy.

He's an old pal from the UK we met via the Bike Forums and we keep in touch. He is also a music nut who has a collection of a brazillion albums (at least) of much obscure stuff, most of which I have never even heard of. Once in a while he attaches a music file of his current discovery to share with me and usually it's right on the money for me too.

On our last return to the Imm Hotel in Bangkok (after we'd got back from Phuket) there was a package for me at Reception. Inside were a couple of discs from Pussy (not his real name, OK?) and I was rather chuffed at the thought of a few new tracks to listen to.

We waited until we arrived at the Bayview Hotel as we'd left our external speakers here and wanted to do the tracks full justice. Yesterday we finally put the discs on to have a look see at what was on them. Blardy 'ell. There were 88 music folders attached, some of which had multiple albums!

Cheers, mate- it's going to take us months to plough through that little lot and we really appreciate the effort. It must have taken hours to rip them over and we can't wait to listen to your offerings. Better still, some of the examples are of albums I had to leave behind in the UK so there will be some happy memories. You're a star- thank you so much.

Moving Out

Today is going to be a bit hit & miss on the Blog as we move out of our current room and into the one we had last time. There's nothing wrong with this pad at all, in fact it is big, has all the facilities (and more) one could need and is extremely comfortable. However, as mentioned, it's not got the bath option or the sofa and the wifey prefers the other view, so we'll be switching over later today and properly getting settled in by unpacking properly.

We can also go through the bag we left last time, which is going to contain some goodies. We've already found the toaster and the luxury of toasted bread with melting butter and Marmite is beyond description. Who needs chicken tikka masala? It's going to be fun to discover what else we left in there.

Anyway, it shouldn't take us longer than today and so we should be back to normal tomorrow. If the wi-fi signal is as good downstairs as it is on the 16th floor.

Our DVD Player

We hooked up the portable Philips DVD player to the TV last night to check it worked with a VCD we had picked up as a test. It ran without any problem and better still, we'd also been shopping for "other" DVDs in the local mall, which specialises in knock off filums.

I prefer to watch the latest movies in the cinema and we will continue to do so, but they really are up to date here, literally replicating the entire six film show at the cinema complex in the same venue with each of them to own on disc. And at only MYR 6 per film, that's just over a quid a time.

We've never bought snide stuff before as one can never be sure of the quality nor if it will be in English or even if it will run, but we picked up a couple of examples to try and not only are they of superb quality but you get the menu options to select languages and sub-titles and you even get all the bonus stuff.

So we now have yet more options to keep us occupied in the evenings, although I have to say that the English TV offerings at the hotel are already rather good. We have two dedicated film channels that show looped stuff on a 24 hour basis and some of the local channels show English movies/shows quite regularly. Last night we saw The Terminal (Tom Hanks & Catherine Zeta-Jones) which is such a delightful story and all for free.

It's going to be easy to make ends meet in Malaysia and that DVD player has been the discovery of the tour this year. :o)

But Better News

As one door closes, another opens and wifey discovered a blinding little bistro not too far away that offers set meals at any time of the day for an inclusive MYR 17 per head.

For that you get a choice of soft drink (the mango juice is wow), a soup (home cooked), loads of main meal dishes including the best steamed in foil fish with vegetables that was as big as the plate it was served on, and to finish a dessert of the day.

That's a good three course meal for less than £3.50 with huge portions and it is going to be a firm fave. We'll be going back regularly and will probably only just get through the entire menu in our two month stay- the choices really are extensive.

Ruby

One of the great pleasures of Georgetown is that it is reputed to have the best cuisine in entire Malaysia. Having lived here last year, I agree, and it was with eager anticipation that we returned to hopefully continue to be well fed.

First downer was one of our favourite restaurants was closed and due to re-open with new management- "soon". No way will it be as good and judging by the shutters and sign asking for waiters/waitresses it certainly is not going to be opening in the near future.

Second bummer was our favourite curry house for simply the best chicken tikka masala and we dropped in the other day expecting a feast. Unfortunately, they keep odd hours where although they are open 24 hours a day, their menu items are only on offer at set times. We were told the chicken tikka would only be back at 16:00 (we arrived shortly after 15:00) and so we decided to come back a little later.

We did a bit of shopping and maybe returned at 17:00, blardy starving (we'd not eaten a thing all day) and sat down to order, when the waiter advised us the requested menu choice would not be ready until 19:00. The original waiter was passing and I quite angrily asked him why he had said 16:00 and not 19:00?

He repeatedly answered 19:00 with a stupid, smug grin and it was all I could do to remain civil to the lying bastard. If we'd have known, we'd have scranned elsewhere and come back another time. Tosser.

Anyway, we walked out, had a rather delicious and completely home made fish & chips for about two quid and now hope to scoff our first curry later today for lunch before 15:00. Hopefully. The guy may have been an arsehole but there is no way I am stupid enough to walk out in a huff and boycott the place. The food is far too good (and cheap) for that. :o)

Oh, Well

We didn't bother watching the Champion's League Final as we're GMT + 8 and I couldn't careless about Man Utd or Barcelona, but glancing at the headlines it seems the Reds got duffed 2-0.

I think I would have preferred to have had the Brit Club win, but I am wholly indifferent as I am still more upset by Bielefeld and Newcastle getting relegated this season. And I'm not a plastic fan either. I'm sure it was a good game etcetera, but for me, it means not very much at all and I'm glad I went to sleep instead.

It's Not a Funeral

21% of men will never wear a tuxedo at an occasion other than a wedding.

What a depressing factual. Why on earth would one wear a DJ to see someone getting hitched in the first place? Getting married is not a black tie affair; it should be a time of happiness and fun and not a formal occasion.

At our wedding we stated on the invitation that anyone turning up in a tie or wearing a hat would not be allowed in. It was the most colourful, relaxed and chill wedding many people had attended and everyone had a good time as no one felt uncomfortable. And to set the example, we got married in black with wifey in a cocktail dress and me in black Levi's...

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

More Dilution of Correct English

Apparently the industry has decided that yoghurt will no longer be called yoghurt, but yogurt.

* Boo *

Not on this Blog it won't be.

Details at TTel.

Way Off Beam

The orbit of the earth has deviated over 16 000 miles in the past 60 years due to nuclear detonations.

All That Sparkles is Not Gold

Click to Enlarge

I am not a wine drinker and therefore never tried the original "Blue Nun" Liebfraumilch. By all accounts it was utterly awful (at least according to wifey who likes her grapes as dry as possible) despite being a best seller in the 1970s. During that time, it apparently it sold 3.5 million bottles a year in the UK.

Anyway, following on from a resurgence in popularity in recent years, they have now produced an "upmarket" version of this bottled foot wash, aimed entirely at empty headed burds. They reckon dropping flakes of 22 carat gold leaf flakes into the liquid will make it a hit with the mentally challenged and who can disagree, my precious?

Enjoy.




The original Blue Nun wine was labelled with the image of a nun, although due to a mistake by the printer, the label was printed in blue, not brown. Hence the name. There is also
an organic wine and a rosé, if you really want to get all adventurous. Good luck.



Oh, Per-lease

A grandfather was banned from buying fish and chips for friends in his sheltered housing block, after wardens ruled that the food might pose a health and safety risk if it got cold.

The old codger was ordered to stop his weekly lunch run for fellow residents at the sheltered housing complex, even though the drive back from the local fish shop only took him five minutes. Managers at the council-run Lakenfields Centre in Norwich decided to suspend the long-running Wednesday lunch club after attending a food hygiene course. They said that the lunches would not resume until they had could secure heat-proof boxes to protect the fish and chips during their short journey from shop to plate.

A little knowledge etcetera...

Busted

More than 40 Government ministers who have recouped the cost of accountancy bills on their expenses should have paid tax on the claims in the same way as ordinary voters, HM Revenue and Customs has said. Ministers have said their expenses claims for accountancy bills were allowed within parliamentary rules as stipulated by their ''Green Book’’. However, in a statement from the HMRC, they said:

“It’s a general principle of tax law that accountancy fees incurred in connection with the completion of a personal tax return are not deductible. This is because the costs of complying with the law are not an allowable expense against tax. This rule applies across the board.”

And it gets better. MPs had already been given specific guidance by HMRC prohibiting such tax-free claims, which accountants say constitute a “benefit in kind” and should be taxed. Issued in 2005, the guidance states that “accountancy fees incurred in the preparation of the self assessment tax return or related expense claims” are “not allowed” as tax expenses.

I wonder how they're going to explain that one away then?

More at TTel.

Need Crackers?

There are more varieties of cheddar cheese than are residents of Cheddar, England.

And I'd love to eat them all.

Klinsmann Kicked Out at Bayern

Slightly late on this, but Jürgen Klinsmann has been dumped as the coach of Bayern Munich after a run of dodgy results. He was sacked 27th April after Bayern’s qualification into the Champions League, one of the season’s basic targets, was put into jeopardy by a string of poor results.

I was surprised that he even took the job on after a very successful stint as the national manager, where he ended up getting the Germans into the Finals of Euro 2008. Shame, I like the guy and hope he now can just kick back and enjoy life.

And the team managed to come runners-up in the Bundesliga...

** News Falsh **

LINCOLN, Neb. – Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton on his head.

Lincoln police Capt. Bob Kawamoto says the man walked into a Kwik Shop convenience store before dawn Monday wearing an empty Bud Light box on his head as a mask.

Kawamoto says the man also had wrapped something around one of his hands, suggesting he was armed. But the man never showed a weapon.

Police said the bandit left with nine packs of smokes valued at nearly $50.

Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said Tuesday morning that the robbery was captured on video. She said the man also dropped the empty 12-pack box as he fled, and it will be checked for fingerprints.

Quite possibly the funniest "story" you'll read in quite some time. :o)

New to Me

Members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are launching an international boycott of Canadian maple syrup at the Vermont Statehouse at noon today in an effort to stop the slaughter of baby seals in Canada. Similar protests are planned in Maine and New York.

Each year more than 300 000 baby seals are clubbed to death for their fur and other by-products, according to Holly Beal, senior media coordinator for PETA. The "Stop the Seal Slaughter" boycott campaign is expected to continue until the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada.

I've only posted this up as this is the first time I have realised what PETA stood for...

(More on this story, if you're interested here.)

Boys Will Be Boys



No, these are not our empties from the other night...

Looking Around Georgetown

We did our first (of many, no doubt) walkabouts yesterday to check out what had changed in the area. At first glance not much; on closer examination though, it became apparent that many shops and businesses had closed.

It was particularly noticeable and very sad to see in the shopping mall on the other side of town, which had more closed shutters bearing the signs "For Sale or Rent" than open shops. Clearly indicative of the world's economy, it really isn't confined to the "western" world. :-(

Looking into the Future

Mason Thomas Moore, creator of the original design for the Lincoln penny, opted to be paid one one-thousandth of a cent for each coin bearing his design. By his death in 1921 he had earned over $250 000 from the penny alone.

More on Beer

More Than Packaging: The History of Beer Cans

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Beer has come a long way since breweries first had the idea of developing can packaging nearly 100 years ago. In the early 1900s, breweries had a problem producing a can that would withstand the pasteurization process and allow the beer to still taste good when it reached the consumer. In order to withstand the heat and pressure of the process, the first beer cans were constructed of tin and steel and were much more thick and sturdy than the ones we see today. By 1935, the first commercially produced beer in a can hit the market.

Early Beer Can Styles and Designs

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basic

(images via: rustycans, umn)

American Can Co. began experimenting with canned beer in 1931, as it anticipated the end of Prohibition. Krueger’s Special Beer was the first commercially packaged beer in a can. The very first canned beer was sold in Richmond, Virginia in 1935. Early on, manufacturers were mostly concerned with creating a beer can that could hold up to the heat and pressure of the pasteurization process without bursting or later leaking on the store shelves. Style and branding were considered, but were not a top priority in the beginning. Pabst was the first major brewer to offer beer in a can.

Rare, Unusual and Special Edition Beer Cans

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collectors

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(images via: umn, blogsmonroe, cantstopthebleeding, worth1000, baseballforum, ebeercans)

After methods of packaging beer into durable cans were developed, the real treat for consumers and collectors were the colorful designs on the cans. Beer would still not taste great coming from a can for several decades. Manufacturers began releasing special edition and novelty cans with lively images and color schemes to attract consumers and compensate for the canned beer taste. Some of these early cans, if still in good condition, are now worth thousands of dollars to collectors. This Cordell Brand can was produced in 1963 by the Hauglie Brewing Company and features the “Even The Cat Enjoys It!!!” slogan. This slogan was only included on one run of the labeling and was removed after complaints from animal rights groups. This is one of the most rare and valuable cans in existence and it is highly sought after by serious collectors.

Craft Brewery Beer Cans

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(images via: blogaboutbeer)

Canned beer became popular in the 1960s, but consumers still had to put up with beer that tasted more like the can than it did beer. Over the years, technology has improved and even craft beer manufacturers are now comfortable with packaging their products in cans. Cans are now specially coated with a water-based finish that prevents the beer from coming in contact with the aluminum. Packaging beer in cans is less expensive than in glass bottles and the cans are 100% recyclable, making them an attractive option, especially in today’s economic climate.

Vintage Beer Can Collections

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vintage

(images via: bigchief, greenmon, umn, francisanderson)

Vintage beer can collections are generally comprised of three distinct types of packaging: flat top, cone top and pull tops. The earliest can designs were flat tops and consumers were on their own when it came to opening them. Generally a triangle shaped can opener was used to puncture the tops of the cans and make an opening in this style of can. Soon conetop cans were introduced and the six pack was born in 1938. The packaging was thick and six packs of beer were deemed too heavy for housewives to pick up on weekly grocery shopping trips. By 1960, the last conetop beer cans were produced and manufacturers tried using an aluminum top on steel cans to make them easier to open. In 1962, the first pull-tab beer hit the market, in 1965 ring-top cans were introduced and in 1974 a short-lived push-button beer can was used on some brands. Most canned beers now use the pull-tab packaging.

Modern Beer Can Designs

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(images via: viZZZual, umn)

With the exception of promotional and limited edition can designs, most major breweries now package canned beer in very recognizable, iconic cans. The most popular beer brands are instantly recognizable by the simple label designs. Beer marketing and advertising relies on the recognition of the label, so modern packaging is generally all about branding.

Stuff That Changed the World

The Invention of Gunpowder

Ironically, it was a quest for immortality that led to the invention of the deadliest weapon before the arrival of the atomic bomb. Experimenting with life-lengthening elixirs around A.D. 850, Chinese alchemists instead discovered gunpowder. Their explosive invention would become the basis for almost every weapon used in war from that point on, from fiery arrows to rifles, cannons and grenades.

Daily Life in the Agora

It was the heart of the city -- where ordinary citizens bought and sold goods, politics were discussed and ideas were passed among great minds like Aristotle and Plato. Who knows where we'd be without the "agoras" of ancient Greece. Lacking the concept of democracy, perhaps, or the formula for the length of the sides of a triangle (young math students, rejoice!).

The Council of Nicea

When Constantine became the first Christian leader of the Roman Empire in the fourth century, his vast territory was populated by a hodgepodge of beliefs and religions. To quell the controversy, in A.D. 325, he brought together 318 bishops from across the empire to the town of Nicea to find common ground on issues plaguing the new religion. It was the first ever worldwide gathering of the Church. The Christianity we know today is a result of what those men agreed upon.

The Black Death

By the time the tornado-like destruction of the 14th-century bubonic plague finally dissipated, nearly half the people in each of the regions it touched -- and 75 million people total -- had succumbed to a gruesome, painful death. The Black Death especially ravaged Europe, leading to immediate social changes, from increased wages to mistrust of the church.

Discovery of Sugar

It's unlikely that many candy lovers in the United States think about history while each sucks down an estimated 100 pounds of sugar per year, but sweet stuff once played a major role in one of the sourest eras in modern times. White Gold, as British colonists called it, was the engine of the slave trade that brought millions of Africans to the Americas beginning in the early 16th century. Profit from the sugar trade was so significant that it may have even helped America achieve independence from Great Britain.

The Declaration of Independence

When he penned the Declaration in 1776, Thomas Jefferson had an inkling of the consequences it held for the 13 colonies, who were announcing their intention to break free from the shackles of British rule. What he may not have anticipated, however, were the widespread effects his powerful words would also have around the world. The Declaration of Independence didn't just change the course of American history, but created a ripple effect that nudged a host of other nations toward independence, making a revolutionary poster boy of Jefferson in the process.

A Monk and His Peas

Working in the solitude of an Austrian monastery, one 19th-century holy man managed to unravel the basic principles of heredity with just a handful of pea species that he bred and crossbred, counted and catalogued with monastic discipline. While plant and animal genes were Gregor Mendel's original focus, his ideas later made sense of our complex human workings, too, kicking off the scientific discipline of genetics.

A Trip to the Galapagos

Boobies and lava gulls and giant tortoises, oh my! The Galapagos Islands host a faunal freak show of rare animal species endemic only to those volcanic specks isolated in the Pacific Ocean. While still very interesting to ecologists today, in the 19th century the life there proved key in Charles Darwin's seminal evolutionary theory of the origin of species. It was the fantastic menagerie of the Galapagos that ultimately lit the fire under the theory and its mechanism of natural selection, which changed biology forever.

12 Seconds in the Air

The pioneering, 120-foot flight over Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, may have gone off with little fanfare that day in 1903, but it would soon have enormous implications that wrapped, very literally, around the world. Brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright did not invent flight, but they became the Internet of their era with their invention of the first manned, powered, heavier-than-air and (to some degree) controlled-flight aircraft, bringing people and ideas together like never before.

Test-Tube Babies

Just over 30 years ago, a baby girl came screaming out of the womb much like any other. It was how she got in there in the first place that was far from average. As the first "test tube" baby born using in-vitro fertilization methods, England's Louise Brown tested the way we looked at life and science, sparking intense debates that continue to stir controversy. Though fertilization treatments existed before and have since become quite commonplace, that moment in 1978 marked a profound switch in biological medicine.

Entirely subjective but some nice ideas. You got any improvements?

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Super Machine Ads






Click any to Enlarge

Finally got around to uploading these clever adverts sent over by Brendan a while ago.

FAO Shaz & Dave

Bruv and sister-in-law are both giving up smoking (they've already started) and I remember how difficult it was for us. Here's something that may help and the best of luck:

Recovering from Nicotine Addiction

There are two main components of recovery from nicotine addiction: physical withdrawal from nicotine and healing the mind of the habits associated with smoking.

Nicotine Withdrawal

Physically, our bodies are reacting to withdrawal from nicotine as well as the thousands of chemicals present in the cigarette smoke we inhaled. This phase of recovery creates a stress of its own that we must be prepared to cope with. Having an awareness of how stress fits in as by-product of early recovery from nicotine addiction and having a few tools at hand to deal with the discomforts will help you manage it successfully.

Healing the Mind

On an emotional level, smoking cessation forces us to deal with the loss of our cigarettes as a crutch we leaned on as a way to manage our feelings. And that, for most of us, is where the real work of smoking cessation lies. Use the tips below to help you cope with stress when you quit smoking. Be patient with yourself and allow recovery to unfold for you as it will. Remember, release from nicotine addiction comes gradually, as you erase old associations and habits one by one, replacing them with new, healthier choices. In time, you'll find that stress is more easily managed smoke-free than it ever was when you were smoking.

1) Don't Neglect Yourself

Early cessation is a time when you should be taking extra care to make sure all of your needs are being met. Following these simple guidelines will help you weather nicotine withdrawal more comfortably:
  • Eat a well-balanced diet. Your body needs good quality fuel now as it works to flush the toxins out of your system.
  • Drink water. Water is a great quitting aid. It helps you detox more quickly and works well as a craving-buster. And by keeping yourself hydrated, you'll feel better overall. Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
  • Take a daily multivitamin. Give your body the boost that a good multivitamin provides for the duration of the withdrawal process. Cigarettes deplete so many nutrients, and vitamins may help you rebound more quickly from the nicotine withdrawal symptoms that you experience.

2) Cut Out Caffeine

When you quit smoking, the amount of coffee or caffeinated colas you're accustomed to might now make you jittery and anxious. Reduce caffeine intake, or cut it out completely for a while, especially if you're having trouble sleeping through the night. Chances are, once you're through the withdrawal process, you'll be able to drink coffee again, though perhaps not in the same quantity as before quitting.

3) Take a Warm Bath

This is one of my favorite ways to relax and de-stress. I recommend it often, and yes, it's good for the guys too. Light a few candles, use some scented bath salts, and submerge.

4) Get a Massage

Enlist your spouse or another willing pair of hands to help work the stress out of your muscles. If you can get a full body massage, great, but even 10 or 15 minutes spent on your neck, shoulders, face and scalp can work wonders. Our bodies tend to hold onto the tension we feel in our muscles, and a good massage is worth its weight in gold as a means to relieve stress.

5) Put on Your Walking Shoes

A short walk every day -- even for 15 minutes -- will help you manage stress as you withdraw from nicotine. Walking reduces edginess and improves circulation. Exercise releases endorphins, the "feel good" hormone. So, when the urge to smoke strikes, head out for a walk around the block. You'll come back refreshed and relaxed.

6) Get Enough Sleep

The early days of smoking cessation are tiring. Your body is stressed and so is your mind. Allow more time for sleep if you need it and can manage it. Don't worry: The weariness you're feeling won't last forever. Your energy will return soon.

7) Visualize

Close your eyes and create a place in your mind that you can go to when you need to slow down and relax. It could be a real location or imaginary, but make it yours. Use the same place every time so it becomes familiar and comfortable. As you settle in, start to follow your breathing, and slow it down gradually. Breathe deeply in and out for 3 to 5 minutes.

8) Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is a quick way to calm edgy nerves and reduce stress. Breathe in through your nose for a count of three and exhale through your mouth for a count of three. Repeat this for a few minutes, and the tension in your body will begin to fall away.

9) Focus on Today

We spend so much time thinking about everything but the day we have in front of us. Don't worry about tomorrow or forever. Don't get lost in feelings of fear about never being able to smoke again. Think instead about today and resolve to make the most of it. You have the ability to stay smoke free just for today, don't you? That's all you need to do. Baby steps! Don't let feelings of worry about tomorrow intimidate you today.

10) Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

You will have bad days. Expect and accept that. Such is smoking cessation, and such is life. On those off days, resolve to put yourself on ignore. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to get out of our own way. Our minds can make small issues huge, and make a drama out of every little thing when our moods are out of whack. When you're having a bad day, think pamper. Be good to yourself; allow for a treat or two, and put your thoughts on hold. Tomorrow will find you feeling better and grateful to still be smoke-free.

Stress is part of life, and learning how to manage it smoke-free is part of successful cessation. With time and practice, your smoke-free life will flow with ease.

Going Green

Want to help the environment? Stop eating lamb, beef and drinking beer and eat more pork (unlucky Jewish and Muslim people) and chicken instead, as they produce fewer carbon emissions.

A Government-sponsored study (who else?) into greenhouse gases has found that producing 2.2lbs of lamb was the equivalent of releasing 37lbs of carbon dioxide. Other foods such as tomatoes only produce 20lbs of CO2 while potatoes release about 1lb of CO2 for each 2.2lbs of food.

Lamb produces so much carbon dioxide because sheep belch so much methane, which is a potent greenhouse gas. Cows are also damaging, releasing the equivalent of 35lbs of CO2 per 2.2lbs. Previous studies have shown that a herd of 200 cows can produce annual emissions of methane - roughly equivalent to driving a family car more than 100 000 miles on more than four gallons of petrol.

The study also found that alcoholic drinks contribute significantly to emissions, with the growing and processing of hops and malt into beer and whisky producing 1.5% of Britain's greenhouse gases.

More of this cobblers at TTel.

Form an Orderly Line, Please

Drinkers in Oldham will have to queue at bars and buy no more than two beers at a time in an attempt to curb violence and binge-drinking. Customers will be encouraged to stand behind rope barriers similar to those used in banks and post offices as they wait to be served, while drinking in the queue will also be discouraged, under new proposals by the council which will affect all 22 pubs in the town centre.

Ridiculous. What happens if you're with a group of friends? Are they suggesting you are no longer permitted to buy a round for your pals? Big brother is getting bigger.

Brilliant

Click to Enlarge

The above picture does not contain any type of paint, pencil or pigments and is constructed entirely of paper folds. The artist, Simon Schubert takes up to a week to create each of his unusual pictures, which can sell for around £3 800 a time. He said:

"Most of the people who see the work are surprised that the pictures are created by folding paper, they don't believe it when I tell them. Many of them think I've used paint or pencil to create the affect of light and shade. But when they realise the pictures are actually folded they are quite impressed."


More at TTel.

No Poo, Poirot

The biggest-ever study of overcrowding and the punctuality of trains, commissioned by the Rail Safety and Standards Board (RSSB), has been condemned as "an astonishing exercise in rehashing the blindingly obvious". It has cost £500 000 and taken two years to conclude that commuters want trains to run on time.

The report discovered that passengers are likely to be in a "positive emotional state" if their train is punctual and announcements are audible and comprehensible, and in a "negative" frame of mind if the service is late and no one tells them why. Commuters are "chilled out and happy" if they get a seat on a train, but their mood turns to "panic" if the train is late and there is no seat.

And next week more startling news on projects such as "does it hurt to get poked in the eye with a sharp stick?", "do we really need oxygen to breath?" and "singing lessons with the Spice Girls"...



The report comes just a week after the
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs was criticised for spending £300 000 on a three-year study that proved ducks liked rainy weather.

Yawn

Several thousand Xfm listeners have voted in a poll to establish the best British songs. According to the survey, which hardly has much merit, here're the top 10:

Night Market

It didn't take us long to settle in our temporary home (what's the point in unpacking when we move the day after tomorrow?) and so we headed off to get something to eat at our local night market. Again, all the staff remembered us and we nearly got swamped with people wanting to say hello. It's so nice to return to familiar surroundings and friendly people.

The food was cheap, cheerful and tasted great, and the beer was cool and thirst quenching. The live music and dancing (Mondays & Tuesdays) were fun and we had a good night out until gone past 01:00. And we wanted an early night?

The special offer on the beer was buy three bottles (MYR 13 per 660 ml of Tiger) and get a free can of Guinness. I love(d) my pint of the black stuff but we travel to experience the local food and drink and so our friendly waiter swapped the Guinness tins for Tiger.

I never thought I would pass up a free G but there you go, travel really does broaden the mind.

And a Bonus

As we entered the departure lounges there was a promotion stand of exotic fruits which were intricately carved and looked incredible. A delightful lady started to introduce us to various types and offered us free samples. My, have we been missing out.

I just wish I could remember all their names but the tastes and textures were a completely new experience to us and we hope to find the same fruits locally now. Delicious, but the mango still remains my personal favourite despite the new kids on the block.

Right to the Limit

Not only did we leave Thailand on the very last day of our permitted visa stay (we tend to build in a day's slack in case of emergency) but my new bag and its contents weighed in at 15.5 kg. The bag itself is around 5.5 kg but our limit on Air Asia is 15 kg dead, but luckily he waived the excess baggage fee and so all was well.

Wifey's came to a paltry 9 kg so next time we distribute our stuff a little more evenly to avoid potential charges.

Take Your Seats, We're Off

Forget finding the middle of the plane near the wings where it's allegedly safest (if you're going down you're already brown bread) or sitting in front where people troop past and get a free sideshow at your expense. Pick your position towards the back to ensure you have spare seats around you and there is plenty of space in the overhead lockers for your carry on stuff. When you land, don't jump up and get crammed into the aisle waiting to disembark like the other sheep, stay put, finish your chapter and leisurely stroll off last(ish).

Passport Control is usually less busy and it gives the baggage boys time to unload your kit without you anxiously looking up the belt every time it moves a fraction of an inch.

We did exactly that and not only did we get ushered through the VIP passport check queue but my bag was already on the conveyor belt as I sauntered up to it. Result.

Monday, 25 May 2009

And Welcome Back to Georgetown

Although it's only about four months since we were last here, it is great to be back.

Both taxi journeys were effortless and cheap compared to previous prices, Air Asia were once more excellent (and this time we timed it to perfection as were almost last onto the plane as we'd chosen seats right at the back) and the reception we had on arrival at the Bayview Hotel was nothing short of film star treatment.

Every single familiar staff face literally rushed over to greet us with warm handshakes and huge smiles and we were whisked away to our room which is located on the upper most floor; the 16th. It offers the most incredible views, is situated next to the Junior Suite (our room almost feels like a suite itself) and we have two bathrooms. Space not to be able to swing cat but to jive with a pride of lions, a writing desk and a dressing table, two bedside cabinets I could live in and all manner of lighting options to choreograph a disco with.

And we don't like it...

Actually that's not true, we do; it's lovely, but we miss our old room which had a shower and bath and a lazy sofa to read the newspaper in opulent luxury whilst looking out at the sea view (we get Chinatown here which is fascinating but not quite the same). We had already been advised it will be available from Thursday and if we preferred we can move back in a couple of day's time. We do and we intend to, but in the meantime, this isn't half bad.

And the wi-fi picked up instantly with a download rate of 4 GB. Fantastic. :0)

Bye-Bye Bangkok

Sadly it's time to leave and we do so with heavy heart and heavier bags. The wallet will be very happy to leave temptation behind, but the rest of us really have fallen for the place and in time we'll probably spend half our time in this amazing capital, split between Izola.

However, we are very much looking forward to a couple of months in Malaysia and our delightful Georgetown, so we'll have to call a halt to our ramblings and get ready to get to the airport.

Back on line soon, after no doubt experiencing some kind of initial problems with connectivity, but I'm sure it won't be too long.

Our Local DVD Shop

We use them regularly and it is mainly staffed by school kids and youngsters who are ever so helpful. We picked a film to view recently but the young chap told us in embarrassed (but perfect English) it was only in Thai and when yesterday, we took out The Dark Knight, we were told we'd already seen it. They keep your full history up on screen and remind you of what you've previously rented if there's a repeat.

We were actually aware we'd rented the latest Batman movie before but we didn't get to see it as it got late, we fell asleep and we were flying on the next day, so we thought we'd try again. Guess what? It looks like we'll have to take it out a third time as we only got half an hour of it last night and fell asleep again. Luckily we saw it at the cinema so it's not so bad. :o)

But While The Bad News Was Unfurling

On the pitch, we were staying in watching a corker of a movie called "Cadillac Records" (after the founder, Leonard Chess of Chess Records) which charted the formation of a recording company who discovered the talents of Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Little Walter, Howlin' Wolf, Etta James and Chuck Berry, to name but a few. Cast and crew were absolutely superb, with Jeffrey Wright (Felix Lighter in the latest Bond filums) in the lead role of Muddy and Adrien Brody as Chess.

Here's a fair review of the film from IDMB:

"Cadillac Records" is a fun, fast, flashy introduction to the world of Chess Records. In the 1950s, Leonard Chess, a Polish-born Jew in Chicago, along with his brother Phil (not seen in this film) produced "race" records by African American blues and rock and roll legends like Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, Chuck Berry and Etta James.

These artists' work had huge impact on popular music; the Rolling Stones are shown on a pilgrimage to Chess Studio. Their music is great and is played all but non-stop on the soundtrack, which is a very good thing. Flashy glimpses into the glamorous styles of the 1950s and 60s include loving looks at the many Cadillacs Chess gives as gifts to his star performers.

Jeffrey Wright is quietly compelling as Muddy Waters. Mos Def is a charming Chuck Berry; he really communicates the charisma that Berry exuded to his adoring female fans. Eamonn Walker is terrific, and appropriately intimidating, as Howlin' Wolf. Walker electrifies the screen with his every morsel of screen time; I wish that after they'd finished "Cadillac Records," they had just kept the sets up and kept the cameras running and began a biography of Howlin' Wolf with Walker in the lead. Beyonce Knowles is very beautiful and pays worthy tribute to Etta James, the singer she plays.

"Cadillac Records" feels a bit rushed, and not as deep and probing as it could have been. Perhaps much backstory was cut out? A shame, because Adrien Brody, a brilliant and compelling actor, is not given enough to do.

So much more could and should have been said about Chess the man and his motivations, and the complex relationship he had with his singers. There is the story that Chess put Muddy Waters to work painting his ceiling. Some accused him of paternalism; curious viewers are advised to pick up Nadine Cohodas' book "Spinning Blues into Gold: The Chess Brothers and the Legendary Chess Records." Also, "Cadillac Records" can't avoid the clichés inherent in music biopics: the innocent character is introduced to drugs for the first time, and is ruined by them; the self destructiveness of brilliant people, the exhilarating, brutal, rags-to-riches-to-obscurity trajectory of show biz careers. For all that, "Cadillac Records" is fun and it makes you want to learn more about an important cultural moment in American history.

I agree and really wish we'd seen more of the Wolfman- he was blinding, but if you like good music, you'll love this. There is no more to say other than watch this and stick your Abba "mania" right up your ring piece. ktelontour highly recommended.

Lightning Striking Twice

So that's that then- Newcastle go down not only 1-0 away to Aston Villa (even worse, it was an own goal) but they also go down to the Championship for next season and are relegated. They are, of course, far too big a team to stay there for long, but what a miserable season for them.

It began with Wor Kev once more bottling it at 1 000% and walking off in a huff. Again. He was protesting at the decision to appoint that nasty piece of work, Dennis Wise at becoming some kind of an executive at the club and King Kev, the most Royal of managers felt they couldn't work together. He was correct as Wise is anything but and he too has subsequently left Newcastle. Another own goal, one ponders?

Then there was the drawn out saga with "Pull-me Push-me" Owen who decided it was unfair on the club to decide his future whilst resting on the bench as sub or being injured and wouldn't take a decision until the end of the season. He did this in the best interests' of the club & fans naturally and his bank manager's feelings had little to do with this. Let's see how committed he will be now...

Mike Ashley must also shoulder blame for his club's fortunes. An average fan will always have an opinion on the way his team should look and play, but when that fan buys the club, it does not turn him into a manager. Keeping the beak out is always best but sadly he discovered that maxim too late. When he tried to sell the club the already upset fans (comprising mainly of Emperor Kev's family, friends and pet dog) became more disillusioned and it hardly helped the atmos. Mind you, the team hardly helped either. Thousands paid a week to the dainty darlings and yet not playing well enough to grace a pub XI. In the Ladies' league.

Next up we had Joe Kinnear, an ex Tottenham player so I won't go in too hard on him, who only excelled in public relations with the press and only got a temporary stint of a month in charge. When it became apparent no one was stupid enough to want the job, Old Joe took it on full time. Well, someone had to pay the medical insurance and since February, he's been off sick (albeit recovering from a triple heart bypass operation, so a fair excuse).

Then with one fell swoop, Shearer the God appeared reluctantly blinking in the spotlight looking like a fixated rabbit caught in the laser-like glare of a snake's beadies. He too insisted it was only going to be temporary and took charge of just eight games. He lost them all bar one and it's "see you later, dudes". Or will he?

Either way, it's been a dire season for the Magpies and coupled with Bielefeld's relegation as well, not a good one for my crop of teams. Spurs also got stuffed 3-1 away to Liverpool so nothing to report there aside from "same, same".

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Tight or What?

Parents and teachers at the Norwood Grove school in London have been using a patch of grass outside of the school gates for their picnics for the past 16 years free of charge. This year however, the Croydon Council has demanded £120 to cover potential damage to the grass. The headmistress said:

"This is a little party in the park; we are not going to have loud music playing. It is always well supervised by me and my staff, with the parents here as well. What I want to know is what do we get for that money we pay the council?"

They replied as follows:

"For fairness, and in the best interests of public safety, it is essential that we treat all applications even-handedly, with appropriate charges being made and checks in place to ensure that event organizers have the necessary risk assessments and insurance."

How thoughtful.

Lending a Hand

A Chinese man whose threat to commit suicide held up traffic on a busy bridge for five hours was shoved off the structure by a furious motorist. The retired soldier, broke through a police cordon and reached out to shake the hand of the would-be jumper, before pushing him off the bridge. He said:

"I pushed him off because jumpers are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests. They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities' attention to their appeals."

He actually fell only 10 metres on to a partially inflated emergency air cushion and was treated in hospital with wrist and back injuries, whilst the pusher was detained by police. This was at least the twelfth person since early April to threaten suicide at the same spot, the Haizhu Bridge in Guangzhou- and we've been there.

Good V Bad

Animals possess a sense of morality that allows them to tell the difference between right and wrong, according to a new research. Scientists studying animal behaviour believe they have growing evidence that species ranging from mice to primates are governed by moral codes of conduct in the same way as humans. Until recently, humans were thought to be the only species to experience complex emotions and have a sense of morality.

It seems we have animals that are more intelligent than our MPs then.

More at TTel.

Feckin' Shite

I am still really gutted that Bielefeld have been relegated. God, do I hate that feeling. Come on the Toon, to lose another team would not be cricket at all.

Aye- the Early Bird

Yes, I've been getting all previous again and have amended our gadgets in readiness for two months in Georgetown/Penang, Malaysia. We're GMT + 8 hours to the UK, we're back to using the Ringgit as the currency of choice but the weather is on par with Thailand; around 32 C+. :0)

There's some new "stuff" at the foot of the Blog for the next week or so, I've edited our profile to reflect more accurately our travel details to date and have generally been messing around with a few title changes to sharpen things up. Nothing major, but it needed doing.

Down & Out

OK, it was inevitable but now that it is confirmed, it still feels like shit. Arminia Bielefeld managed yet another draw in their final game of the season, but due to the other results came last in the Bundesliga and are relegated. :-(

Historically, we've been the most relegated and promoted team on the league's history, yo-yoing between the upper and lower divisions about 8 or 9 times but once more we find ourselves outside of the top flight. *sigh*

Let's hope the season improves for us later this year and we make a quick return in 2010.

In the meantime, it's Newcastle who have to fight for survival. later today. Fingers crossed.

Pardon?

One fifth of computers don't have speakers., although I'm fairly sure that doesn't apply to laptops.

Good Filum

Watched a great movie last night; "Ghost Town" starring Ricky Gervais. He plays a dentist who after a mishap on the operating table gains the ability to see ghosts. They queue up to get his help in clearing up any unfinished business but he can't stand people (alive or dead) and much fun is had by the viewer.

He actually plays a rather good part and the film as a whole is easy going, funny and well directed throughout. Deffo worth a view.

Myanmar

We were hoping to visit Myanmar (Burma) this year and had penciled in 2-3 weeks in the summer after our first visit to Laos.

Unfortunately, it seems our plans are being thwarted as there seem to be no direct flights connecting us from Vientiane to Rangon, unless we fly via Bangkok or Kuala Lumpur. We can't come into Thailand as our two month visa (which we shall pick up in Georgetown) is single entry only and it now appears that Air Asia are no longer offering flights to Rangon either, so we're going to have to postpone this trip until next year. It seems we can fly directly from Chang Mai in northern Thailand to Rangon so that will make for a good jaunt.

Which now leaves us with a couple of weeks to account for between leaving Vientiane and returning to Bangkok and it could be a return to Vietnam and a first look at Hanoi. Every cloud etcetera. :o)

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Just a Leap Year

Anyone else wondering about further expense claims that have now been quietly forgotten prior to the four years that have been published? No way has this just happened, so why not go back further to make sure any review is thorough and all the guilty are brought to task.

Feeling Sorry For MPs

The Independent leads with a rather contrary to popular view, which makes interesting reading:

The abuse of expenses is serious, but we need a sense of perspective

Another week of revelations of MPs' expenses, another seven days of humiliation for the mother of parliaments. A welter of juicy details involving ornamental duck houses and tree consultants has tumbled forth to join what we already know about massage chairs, moats and bathplugs. The scandal has claimed the scalp of Michael Martin, who becomes the first House of Commons Speaker in three centuries to be ejected from office.

Yet, after a fortnight of bloodshed on the green benches of Westminster, the public reaction to this matter is in danger of getting out of hand. The tone of the debate has become hysterical. What began as a justified critique of MPs' behaviour has degenerated into crude bullying. And the row is now in danger of eroding the democratic health of the nation.

No one disputes that The Daily Telegraph had a marvellous story on its hands when it acquired details of every expense claim made by MPs going back four years. And the newspaper had every right to expose questionable conduct from our parliamentarians. Our democracy functions best when our politicians are kept under close scrutiny by the media. Yet the manner in which this newspaper has been delivering these revelations, day after day, is in danger of doing more harm than good to our body politic.

A drawn-out scandal

The damage the drawn-out nature of the scandal is inflicting in Westminster should not be underestimated. It is right that Mr Martin announced his resignation this week. The Speaker had been at the forefront of efforts to prevent the disclosure of MPs' expenses and was far too compromised a figure to preside over the reforms the Commons so evidently needs.

But elsewhere the impact of the scandal has been far from just. Party leaders have been panicked into imposing summary justice on those MPs fingered by The Daily Telegraph. Worse, as Lord Tebbit pointed out yesterday, there is a perception that the Labour and Tory leaderships are protecting their allies, while throwing the rest to the wolves.

The result is that some of the guilty appear to have been let off the hook, while others have been unfairly punished. The events of recent weeks have left many decent MPs disillusioned with politics. In our rush to shame those MPs who have raided the public purse, we risk demoralising the majority who have done nothing wrong. Let us be clear. Where fraud has been committed it should be met with the full force of the law. And the expenses padding practised by many other MPs have, without a doubt, been deplorable. A number of MPs have treated expenses as allowances, to be claimed in any way possible, rather than funds to help them to carry out their parliamentary duties. But there is a big difference between fraud and the milking of a laxly policed expenses system. Claiming for a mortgage that does not exist cannot reasonably be put in the same category of offence as kitting out a second home with furniture from John Lewis.

Not only unjust, but corrosive

The problem is that the public – along with many in the media – is reacting as if all expense claims are indicative of dishonesty. This is not only unjust, but corrosive. If we expect MPs to divide their work between two distant parts of the country, we have to pay for them to do it. Two reasonable people might disagree about how it should be constituted, but some residential allowance system is necessary. Equally, if we expect MPs to do their job of representing their constituents and holding the Government to account, they need to be given public resources to employ researchers and staff. This costs money. Without these allowances only the independently wealthy will be able to afford to enter Parliament. Those who howl about the corruption of the present system should consider the desirability of returning to the days when politics was the exclusive preserve of the wealthy.

Some have identified a silver lining in this affair: at least the public is now "engaged" in politics. This is naive. The public is engaged with the pillorying of MPs. A public flogging will always attract an audience. But this is not the same as being engaged with politics. MPs' gardening arrangements have certainly fired the public's imagination, but who is debating the issues that are the substance of politics? In fact, the expenses row is squeezing out any debate about serious and pressing issues such as the Government's policies to combat the recession and efforts to curtail runaway climate change.

The hysteria we are witnessing is, in fact, a symptom of the disconnection many feel from the political process. The plans announced by the various party leaders for cleaning up the MPs expenses system – such as preventing second home "flipping" and limiting the range of expenses that can be claimed for – are generally sensible. But the public has regarded this as an exercise in shutting the stable door after the horse's departure. It carries little credibility among those who feel that the political classes will always be a law unto themselves.

Clearly, there remains a considerable job of rebuilding trust in Parliament and our political system. Proponents of constitutional reform have been pressing their case in recent days, urging reform of the House of Lords, a new Bill of Rights and, somewhat counterintuitively, more powers for MPs. Other ideas also worth exploring are fixed-term Parliaments and two term limits for Prime Ministers. But we need to think carefully about the roots of this crisis when considering what reforms are needed. One of the lessons of the past decade is that large majorities tend to encourage a feeling of entitlement among MPs. Electoral reform would help to dispel this mentality; a more proportional voting system would tend to result in tighter Parliaments.

Furthermore, one of the striking features of the public response to this crisis is the vocal support for those who have indicated their willingness to stand as independent candidates at the next election. There is a palpable sense of dissatisfaction with the present choice on offer, a feeling from the public that its ability to register its voice is impeded. A more proportional voting system would relieve some of this pressure. Interestingly, the Health Secretary, Alan Johnson, mentioned the 1998 Jenkins review on electoral reform in an interview with this newspaper earlier this week as something that could reconnect politics with the public.

The attraction of the Jenkins proposals is that they would retain the constituency link for MPs while also making the composition of the Commons more representative of how the public votes. With the backing of thoughtful politicians such as Mr Johnson, the Jenkins plan might yet have its day.

The reckoning we need

But we have to realistic. An overhaul of the voting system is not going to be implemented in the coming months, however desirable that would be. And in the absence of such a reform, a general election, in which the public can vote out those MPs who it feels have betrayed its trust, is the next best thing.

While we wait for that reckoning, we ought, collectively, to take a deep breath and rediscover a sense of perspective on recent revelations. Those MPs that have milked the expenses system have, without question, behaved appallingly. But by overreacting to what has taken place, we risk doing our democratic system a double disservice.

It (the paper) rather feels that the public are going in too hard on the poor, beleaguered members of parliament and that it's now become a witch hunt. Perhaps so, but with justification when you still get their whining, belly-aching on how they've done nothing wrong and how it's all down to the system. They are after all only human and thus open to err.

Do me a favour. Instead of leading the public by the nose, the MPs need to lead by example and not just apologise for their greed and cynical abuse of a rotten system, but to actually mean it. Their only apology seems to be that they're sorry they've been caught red handed and the majority of the bad apples feel no remorse whatsoever.

The "hysteria" is completely justified by the common people as they have been betrayed by their servants and to grumble politely into cups of hot, sweet tea or room temperature pints of frothy ale whilst maintaining a stiff upper lip is no longer acceptable.

I for one, applaud the revelations in the Telegraph and hope it continues its campaign to enlighten the public of all the wrong doings and deliberate skull buggery [sic] hidden behind the doors of the House of Commons. For to do any less would be a dereliction of duty. Equally too, I hope the public continue with their open and direct criticisms of the guilty and may it be vocal, harsh and prolonged. If England cannot have a much needed Revolution, let them at least be vicarious.

If the country's whole democracy is on the brink of collapse (such hyperbole really does make for sensational reading) then we only have one body of true (ha!) men and women to blame. If they care, let them stand down and lets have a national election now and not when this has blown over and covered up with skip fulls of whitewash. Let the people have their say and then we can let this go.

It's not going to happen though, is it?

Quality Quote

"I've no wish to be represented in the next parliament by a thief."

Member of the audience to Andrew Mackay, the Conservative MP who was forced to hold a meeting with his constituency. The whole tale at the Independent which is utterly entertaining and shows the depth of anger of the people.

A Bit Old, But

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You What?

What the teams have to do to survive:

- Barring outlandish scores, Sunderland will stay up if they beat Chelsea, or Newcastle and/or Hull fail to win.

- Hull will stay up if they beat Manchester United, or if they draw and Newcastle lose at Aston Villa, or if they and Newcastle lose and Middlesbrough do not win at West Ham with a five-goal swing.

- Newcastle will stay up if they win and either Sunderland or Hull fail to win, or if they draw and Hull lose.

- Middlesbrough will stay up if they win, Newcastle lose and Hull lose with a five-goal swing.

Everyone all clear on this now?

All games tomorrow @ 16:00

Aston Villa v Newcastle
Hull City v Manchester United
Sunderland v Chelsea
West Ham Utd v Middlesbrough

Hear, Hear

Slowly, David Cameron is starting to impress me. The Tory leader issued a final warning to Anthony Steen, the idiotic MP who told the BBC this week that criticism of his expenses was motivated by jealousy among the public about his large house. Cameron said:

"One more squeak like that and he will have the whip taken away from him so fast his feet won't touch the ground. It was a completely unacceptable interview."

He also rebuked Nadine Dorries after she said MPs were victims of a "McCarthy-style witch-hunt". She said there were fears that an MP could commit suicide and that the atmosphere at Westminster was "completely unbearable." Cameron replied:

"Of course MPs are concerned, but frankly MPs ought to be concerned about what their constituents think and ought to be worrying about the people who put us where we are."

Mr Cameron, looking ahead to next month's European and local elections, admitted:

"The public are very angry, they have every right to be. I think they will give the major parties a kicking."

Let's hope so, but let's also hope that common sense prevails in the end. Kick out the parasites, the spongers, the liars, the thieves, the corrupt and in the end there will be a clear winner.

Because in all probability, there will only be one person left.

It's a Science

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Winter Games

Athletes, coaches and organizers aren't the only people getting ready for next year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver- training is also underway for the city's prostitutes.

A Canadian agency that provides "support services" for the city's sex workers is preparing a brochure and training to inform prostitutes about their rights and how to deal with the international media when they descend on the city to cover the Winter Olympic Games from 12th-28th February. Some burd from the Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education Society (PACE) whittered:

"It is a supportive tool (*snigger*) that we are offering"

So that's two things I learnt today- the Canadians are hosting the Olympics and they also have open prostitution. Neat.

Really? I'm Shocked

A US federal appeals court has ruled that the tobacco industry had deceived smokers by labelling some cigarettes as "light" when they posed just as high a health risk as other brands.


The court confirmed a ruling by a lower court in August 2006 that tobacco companies lied for years about the dangerous effects of such cigarettes, and it upheld the earlier decision that the companies must remove misleading statements such as "light" or "natural" from cigarette packets.


Next week more startling revelations when they contemplate whether Harry Redknapp is utterly shit, fire is a tad warm and drinking beer turns fugly burds into lookers. More at TTel.

More Signs


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Friday Night

Despite it hammering down with torrential down pours for most of the late afternoon, I still braved the conditions and legged it across the road to sink a few suds. They have re-erected the roof so it was dry and a good night out was had with the locals and some of the ex-pats, but going for a leak was fraught with problems.

The bogs are across the car park and to access them, one has to traverse the now sodden field, dodging puddles the size of small lakes. As it was dark, I didn't bother and used the natural cover of two tall SUVs which worked fine. Until a couple of people walked past and got the full frontal eye full. :o)

But this being Thailand and the land of the free, not a thing was said and it was business as usual. I love it here and we will be sad to be leaving on Monday.

Battery Problem

I've managed to solve the reason why our battery was only charging up to 50% of its capacity. For some reason I had set the recharge mode to ensure battery life was prolonged and this meant it could not go past the half way stage. I've chucked it back to standard and all is well again.

Unfortunately we're still getting small shocks from the chassis of the frame so it's going to have to go back to Sony when we return to Malaysia to get that solved. They can also wipe the HD and take off AVG anti-virus programme which is useless. We've picked up something that is messing with our set up and so we can re-start from fresh and also install better software.

Luckily we have our mini HP to use in the meantime as no doubt it will take weeks to get this sorted out, which is a shame as it's so good to have a full screen and all our programmes back. When they don't work properly, I really hate the bastid things.

Dinner's Up

Sharks prefer the taste of human flesh over fish due to the varying structures of a human's haemoglobin. Not good news if you're out for a paddle.

Friday, 22 May 2009

Ponce Jug Ears and "Taste"

For decades Charles has been openly critical on certain buildings in the UK, no doubt using all his education, training and experience in the field of architecture to pour scorn on projects that he didn't like. Such as more recently The Maggie's Centre for cancer sufferers at Charing Cross Hospital, designed by Lord Rogers and his partners.

The Ponce had taken it upon himself to write to representatives of the Qatari royal family, developers of the site, urging them to drop Lord Rogers' plan in favour of a more traditionalist design suggesting that the scheme was “unsympathetic.”

However, the centre has been awarded London Building of the Year by the Royal Institute of British Architecture and is now in the running for the RIBA's most prestigious architecture award in Britain, the Stirling Prize, later this year (October).

Funny how the real experts have a contrary point of view.

DNA Database

I do hope that when the Fuzz are called in to investigate MPs who have been fraudulently and criminally claiming mortgage payments, Plod will place any and all DNA samples onto the national database. Guilty or not...

Are You Sure?

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Incredible

MPs caught up in the expenses scandal blamed the anger of their constituents and the public backlash for their decision to quit Parliament. Such is the pressure on MPs that party whips have told TTimes that they fear it could result in suicides- it's a real bastard that guilt thing, all right...

Here's an example of just how arrogant and out of touch these MPs have become. In an astonishing outburst Anthony Steen, who spent £90 000 on his second home, including big sums for lopping trees in its grounds, said that his critics were jealous because he lived in a large house. He blamed the Freedom of Information (FoI) Act for his plight and asked what right the public had to interfere with his private life. Plenty if they are paying for it and you are there to represent them.

“I’ve done nothing criminal, that’s the most awful thing, and do you know what it’s about? Jealousy. I’ve got a very, very large house. Some people say it looks like Balmoral. It’s a merchant’s house of the 19th century. It’s not particularly attractive, it just does me nicely.”

Rotten to the core and still denying any wrong doing. Get shot of them all and start again.

More on DVDs

A new ultra-DVD is the same size and thickness as a conventional disc, but uses nano-technology to store vast amounts of information. This means that it can contain as much data as 200 000 DVDs.

A DVD can hold up to 8.5 gigabytes of information, enough for a movie, several special features and an alternative soundtrack. Blu-ray discs, which were designed to replace them, can store 50 GB, enough for a film and extra features in high definition. Ultra-DVDs will be able to store ten terabytes- or 10 000GB.

A conventional DVD records music, pictures and computer files as digital code using a series of ones and zeroes. The code is written as a series of pits under the clear surface of the disc and is read by a DVD player's laser. Most DVDs have two layers of information- one on top of the other. The laser reads the first layer before adjusting its focus and reading the second.

The new disc stores information using two extra "dimensions"; the colour of light and the direction, or polarisation, of light waves.

Expect to see them appearing in around five years time but I'll bet the dialogue will still remain much quieter than the music score. Anyone else find that frustrating too?

You Want Some?

Ever wondered how to get your own snout into the expenses bucket? TTimes tells you how to become an MP:

1. Be at least 18 years old on the last day of nominations, but do not be a bishop, a peer, or a current member of the Armed Forces. You must not be a convicted prisoner serving a sentence of over 12 months. Being “unlawfully at large” is, unfortunately, not an exemption.

2. Resign your membership of any disqualifying organisations or offices. These include: Scottish Natural Heritage, the Parole Board, the Meat and Livestock Commission, Channel 4 and the directorship of Citybus Ltd.

3. Find a constituency where ten residents, who are all registered to vote, are prepared to back your candidacy.

4. Identify your Returning Officer, and request nomination papers. These must be signed by your ten backers, and returned two weeks before polling day. Enclose a £500 deposit. If you fail to win five per cent of the vote, you will lose your deposit.

5. If you also wish to register as a new political party, send £150 and a copy of your constitution to the Electoral Commission.

6. Make sure all campaign literature contains your full name and address. You are permitted one free mailing to all electors per election — but may not include unrelated material, such as pizza delivery adverts, on the leaflet.

7. Do not stand in two constituencies at once.

8. Win a majority.

NOTE:

If, upon reaching the House of Commons, you find you do not enjoy the job, be aware that under a resolution passed in 1624 you are forbidden from resigning (“a man, after he is duly chosen, cannot relinquish”). Thankfully, there is a loophole. Wavering MPs are appointed to a disqualifying office – such asy Crown Steward and Bailiff of the three Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham – and automatically lose your seat. Tony Blair was a recent Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds.

Bielefeld Doomed

Just been looking at the tables and with Arminia lying third from bottom with one game to go, we're not going to be able to avoid relegation.

Gladbach have three points on us and even if we won and they lost, their goal difference is +4 on us and there is no way we'll make that up. Sadly we're going down, for I believe our eighth or ninth time but hopefully we can bounce back next season.

Let's hope Newcastle do better- even a win may not be enough for their Premiership survival. Sunday is going to be a very nervous time for half of the family.

Nice Surprise

Recall our mentioning a portable DVD player we picked up for a good price which will help us in places where the TV is crap as we can hire/buy films? A chance convo with Brendan recently resulted in a rather good bonus for us.

I was talking to him about VCDs which are hugely popular in this region and how cheap they were. I was lamenting that we didn't have a dedicated player (in fact we'd never even seen one) and he suggested we should try a standard DVD player to see if they ran on them.

So we did. And they do. :o)

We now have the option of running any format, from any region on our little player and this gives us vast options for cheap entertainment at nights. You can pick up classic films from less than a quid. To buy. Result.

New Luggage

Cor! Finally plumped for an all singing & dancing trolley/back pack affair from The North Face which is capable of stowing me inside it, it's so big. It'll easily cope with all the additional stuff we've accumulated and is so rugged it wouldn't look out of place on a trek up a mountain or something. Particularly as it could double up as accommodation overnight.

Neat slogan that kinda sums us up as well: "Never Stop Exploring"- that's what ktelontour are all about.

One day when I'm brave enough I'll even tell wifey how much it cost, but not even three towers is going to loosen my tongue on that subject...



(I did manage to get a reasonable discount though.) :o)

I Spy With My Little Eye

A new, bigger/snazzier slide show of the places we've visited on this trip. The previous Flickr picture show whilst good was a bit limited (as in smaller sizes and it could only show twenty pictures at a time) but having used Photobucket's one for our flags further down, we thought we'd try the same for our pictures and I think it's an improvement.

They're all shots of places we've been to, with some more recognisable than others but all hold a fond memory and look a lot better in the new style.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

And Not a Moment Too Soon

More than 30,000 former Gurkha soldiers who served in the British Army and now live in Nepal are to be given the right to settle in this country after a policy U-turn was forced on the Government.

The longstanding arrangement under which Gurkhas who served before 1997 have no rights to live in Britain is to be overturned.

The new policy, to be announced today by Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, could open the door to 36,000 former Gurkhas and their close relatives, although it is expected that the number who will take up the offer will be much lower.

Ms Smith is expected to tell the Commons that the pre-1997 Gurkhas will benefit from the same rights as those who served after 1997. The post-1997 Gurkhas have all been allowed to apply for British citizenship, and 6,000 of them have settled here.

The change of mind was forced on the Home Secretary after last month’s defeat in the Commons — Gordon Brown’s first as Prime Minister — when 27 Labour rebels joined the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats in voting against the Government and in support of equal residency rights for all Gurkha soldiers.

A campaign led by the actress Joanna Lumley on behalf of the Gurkhas also put the Government, and in particular Mr Brown, on the spot after she met him and subsequently declared in front of television cameras that she fully expected him to do the decent thing and open Britain’s doors to the pre-1997 veterans.

Part of the debate in Whitehall, between the Home Office and the Ministry of Defence, has been over the potential cost of reversing the policy. No one has been able to assess with any degree of confidence how many pre-1997 Gurkhas are likely to want to leave Nepal to live in Britain. The new open-door policy will allow former Gurkhas to bring close relatives with them.
The cost of allowing all 36,000 Gurkhas and their families into Britain could reach about £1.4 billion but officials expect the cost to be significantly lower. Gurkha campaigners claim that the number wanting to come to Britain is likely to be no more than 10,000. Many of the older veterans who have lived in Nepal for a long time are not expected to pack up and come to Britain.

The eventual cost of the resettlement programme is more likely to fall between £300 million and £400 million. Nepal has, however, been suffering from a long period of instability, which might encourage more former Gurkhas to opt for life in Britain.

The first hint of a U-turn was given by Mr Brown in the Commons on Wednesday, when he said: “The Home Secretary will make a statement tomorrow. I believe it is possible for us to honour our commitments to the Gurkhas and to do so in a way that protects the public finances.”

From TTime.

Speaker's Corner

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

- Howard Aiken

2009?

On average, it takes until 24th January before one remembers to change the year when writing the date. People who work with large quantities of dated material daily shorten the average to 15th January.

I still have trouble remembering which day of the week it is never mind the year.

Bangkok Equals

SHOPPING.

What else could we possibly buy having emptied out most of the malls on our last visit? That's the whole problem- having bought too much, we have to put it somewhere and so I need a bigger bag. Hand luggage is just not practical and it's time to bite the bullet and go for a larger size bag that can be put into a plane's hold.

Of all the items available in this city, luggage seems to be more expensive and so it will no doubt break the bank, but needs must etcetera and not being an MP, I'll just have to fork out for something suitable out of my own pocket.

Beer Snacks

Forget about your salt & vinegar or your dry roasted; last night we were served freshly barbecued squid with salad and dipping sauces that was so tender it almost melted as you speared a chunk with a skewer. It was too much for either of us to clear the plate and all we paid for this maritime treat was a trifling THB 120- just over two quid.

And Back at the Watering Hole

Shock, horror. They've put up the prices of the beer. A glass has gone from THB 50 to 60 and a tower has jumped from THB 400 to 450. And do you know what? Who cares. They've re-erected the roof to cope with the rainy season, the fans were on full chat and the staff were as much fun as always. A small price to pay for yet another fun night out.

Pussyhorse

Don't even worry about the name, but this dude spent time, effort and finance* to compile a couple of music CDs for us, which were waiting in Reception upon our arrival.

Cheers, Face- we haven't had a chance to listen to them yet, but the anticipation is immense and I'm sure we'll enjoy at least a track or two. ;-)

*And he's a Scotsman...

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

So sang the better half of Simon & Garfunkel but it also illustrates nicely the number of ways you can get from the airport to our pad in the capital. At least...

As just stated, we were barely an hour in the clouds, which was less time than we spent in taxis yesterday. Both drivers were fine but the difference on price was vast. THB 700 from O'T's to Phuket Airport and yet, cop for this- just THB 300 from BKK International to the Imm. That's the cheapest yet and the guy also took us on a different route through all the back suburbs so we got a fascinating insight into yet more of our favourite city.

I can't recall ever having a more interesting taxi drive, nor having actually enjoyed paying the guy who knew exactly where the hotel was (a first) and who drove with great skill and care. :0)

*Yay* We're Back in Bangkok

After yet another effortless flight with the guys in the red & white planes of Air Asia, we touched down at Bangkok International airport in record time (we were only in the air for 1.05 hours) and before you knew it, we were being greeted like old friends at the Imm.

The room was sorted out for us with all the extras, our long term luggage was brought up and we've settled in quite nicely, thank-you-very-much. It's almost like being home; whatever that may be.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

More Clever Ads

This banner for the new Smart Brabus cars was placed quite smartly on a bridge. It shows off nicely that the new Smart Brabus has got some extra power.



An ad to promote a restaurant named Spar placed artificial clams on the beaches of Mumbai, India. When you open the clams there´s a text inside saying: "Looking for seafood? Spars Seafood festival"



To promote the 2004 global-warming film "The Day After Tomorrow," indian ad agency Contract created this dramatic outdoor billboard which is submerged underwater.

The title and release date of the film was just visible above the water, adding to the effect is what looks like an empire state building in the background. The idea of this billboard was to mimic the film's story of Manhattan being submerged under water. (Source)



Guerrilla Stunt made this campaign for Clean & Clear Morning Energy, where five "walking" beds just went around the Brazilian city of São Paulo. In each bed was a girl sleeping, and would wake up in strategic places such as universities and schools, around 7 am, the beggining of classes. In their bed was written: " Dont take a sleepy face with you. Wake up your skin for beauty."


This ad from The Economist recently won a prize at the London International Advertising Awards for their bright concept. Created by Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO, this billboard shows a light bulb that illuminates whenever someone walks under it by hooking some electric motion sensors under the sign. Althought it's a brilliant idea, let's just hope it doesn't rain. (Source)



This provoking street campaign for the Australian Childhood Foundation can be seen right now in Melbourne. For their ongoing campaign "Stop Child Abuse Now", they used child size mannequins to represent children suffering neglect. The mannequins were placed in high traffic locations around the city and then a billposter was pasted over the top of the figure so only the feet and legs could be seen. Words on the poster read, “Neglected Children are made to feel invisible.” (Source)



This creative Axe ad was placed next to an exit sign.



3M was so sure their Security Glass was unbreakable, they put a large stack of cash behind it and shoved it in a bus stop. Actually, it was only $500 of real currency stacked on top of fake money, and people could only use their feet to try to break it. A security guard was present to make sure no one broke the rules and that people couldn't get to keep the money if they broke it. Nevertheless, a glass that can stand a double-footed kick from a man with a 30 foot head start is impressive. (Source)



Hummer UK recently launched the first right-hand drive version of the H3. To do so, they created a giant toy box and placed it in front of a TOYS R US store.



What better way to make people wonder how prepared they are for an emergency situation? Just imagine: you are walking along, look down before walking a few flights of stairs, and at the bottom is what appears to be an injured person. What do you first? How would you help?

Red Cross created this very cool guerrilla advertising campaign to raise awareness of various key issues around the world. (Source)



Virgin Atlantic used fragile eggs in a guerrilla-ad campaign a few years ago in Johannesburg, South Africa. Agency Net#work BBDO surreptitiously placed open cartons of eggs on an airport baggage carousel, partially encased in a wrapper that said "Handled by Virgin Atlantic." Luckily, the eggs didn't break.



To celebrate the launch of Spiderman an advertising campaign placed a cubicle near the ceiling inside men's toilets. Who would use that cubicle? Well... Spiderman, of course. (Source)



This creative guerrilla campaign promotes the heartburn medicine, Pepto-Bismol. The campaign uses washing machines at laundromats to show the midsection of various people suffering from heartburn pain, with the washing machine window forming their tummy. The image is coupled with the slogan, “No matter what you throw in your stomach, Pink's got you covered.” (Source)



Western Unions customers in Hong Kong are mainly domestic helpers who send money home to the Philippines or Indonesia - so why not get them the messages while they're at work? (Source)



A very nicely executed guerrilla marketing idea for DHL. "If it is where it belongs, it was probably delivered by DHL." Simple and effective. (Source)



In 2004, a ghostly car was parked on London's Belvedere Road — a full-sized Volkswagen Polo Twist, rendered in ice. Sculptors had spent 350 hours chiseling a nine-ton block of frozen water to create the VW. Conceived by the DDB London ad agency, the ice car melted away in just 12 hours, but it generated four weeks' worth of press in Britain, and invaluable buzz among Londoners.

Continuing the Farce

Still with our chum, Martin, I doubt he's too bothered about his "resignation". Speakers are given a peerage on completion of their time in the chair regardless of the circumstances of their departure. So we haven't seen the back of him yet as he will soon be elevated to the House of Lords. That will also see him in familiar surroundings- the House of Lords is expected to launch an independent inquiry into the £18 million a year claimed by peers for expenses...

Still managing to keep your cornflakes down? Try this; his pension.

He has been an MP for 30 years so will get the full parliamentary pension, up to £43 177, and his annual Speakers’ pension of half of his salary- a further £38 452 a year. To get such an income on the open market you would need a pension pot worth around £1.2 million. This financial settlement for former Speakers is non-contributory, by the way.

Ho hum.

Half Mast, Half Arsed

For decades the Union Flag has proudly flown over the Town Hall in the historic market town of Bourne, (Lincs) to honour official occasions. But last month it was noticed that for the first time in living memory there was no St George's Cross on the patron saint's day. Nor will there be on the Armed Forces Day (27th June) or the Queen's birthday. The reason? Why, Health & Safety, of course.

South Kesteven District Council, which maintains the Town Hall, says it is too risky to ask the site manager to climb a ladder and unfurl a flag- all 8 feet of it. The former mayor and Lieutenant Colonel, said:

"What a sad and sick society we're becoming. This despotic government's health and safety laws have prevented the council flying a flag from the building that's the hub of our town. We're told they're not allowed to use a ladder to access the mast, which is ridiculous. It's annoying and upsetting a lot of people."

Quite. What is the country coming to?

Looking Back

Another Q & A from the BBC on matters related to the Speaker:

All you need to know on the row about the House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin:

What's the latest development?

The Speaker of the House of Commons has told MPs he will stand down on Sunday 21 June.

What happens next?

A successor will be chosen the day after he steps down. Candidates need the backing of 12 MPs including three from other parties. They submit their nomination forms by 1030 BST on that day, then address MPs who vote by secret ballot. The winner must have at least 50% of votes. If they do not get that in the first round the candidate with the least votes drops out and MPs vote again. The process continues until there is a winner. How new Speaker will be chosen

Who are the runners and riders?

At this stage it is hard to predict who might replace Mr Martin. But it is expected to be an experienced MP who has the respect of the Commons and the public. Their job, in addition to the usual Speaker's job, will be to oversee the rebuilding of the reputation of Parliament. Senior Lib Dem Alan Beith was the first to confim his intention to stand. Other names mentioned so far include Sir George Young, Sir Alan Haselhurst and Sir Menzies Campbell. Speaker: Runners and riders

What does the Commons Speaker do?

The Speaker of the House of Commons chairs debates in the Commons chamber. As well as keeping order, he chooses which MPs to call to speak, has a say over whether or not a government minister has to make a statement about an issue and decides whether or not particular amendments are to be debated.

Is that all?

No. That is the best-known part of the role which can be traced back to Sir Thomas Hungerford's appointment in 1377, but it is much more constitutionally important than that. The Speaker represents the Commons to the monarchy, Lords and others - he defends the independence of the House of Commons. The Speaker is also responsible for the running of Parliament - and importantly in the current row, the running of the Fees Office which looked after MP expenses and allowances.

Who is the Speaker?

The 63-year-old Labour MP for Glasgow North East, Michael Martin, has been Speaker of the House of Commons since 23 October, 2000. The teetotal, married father-of-two worked for Rolls Royce before becoming a trade union organiser and has been an MP since 1979. Profile: Michael Martin

What was the row about?

As Speaker, Mr Martin is seen as the voice of the House of Commons, but some MPs feel he has not expressed sufficient remorse to the public over the damaging revelations about MPs' expenses claims - which were based on leaked receipts. In a statement to MPs after the first weekend of expenses revelations he said he recognised there was "great public concern" but went on to attack MPs who opposed the decision to ask police to investigate the leak. One of those attacked, Labour's Kate Hoey told the BBC the Speaker had to be "above it all and showing leadership". Lib Dem Norman Baker said rather than responding to public concerns, he "appeared to be defending vested interests". However Gordon Brown defended him, saying he "does a good job".

Had his position been under threat?

Yes. By convention, MPs do not criticise the Speaker publicly, let alone seek to remove him from office. But the scandal surrounding MPs' expenses, and that statement from the Speaker, has changed all that. In an unprecedented move, Tory MP Douglas Carswell tabled a motion of no confidence in the Speaker which has been signed by 23 MPs. Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg added to pressure by calling for the Speaker to go.

How did the Speaker react to calls to quit?

The Speaker faced MPs on Monday and adopted a completely different tone to the previous week. He said he was "profoundly sorry" for the "terrible damage" which had been done to the reputation of the House of Commons by the expenses revelations. He said all MPs must share responsibility for that and said he was going to meet all party leaders within 48 hours to discuss measures to be put in place to change the expenses system.

Did he win over MPs?

No. In unprecedented scenes a succession of MPs openly challenged the Speaker in the Commons, urging him to step down. The Liberal Democrats, many Conservative and at least some Labour MPs want the no confidence motion to be debated. It became increasingly hard to see how he could survive a debate about his own role, as the Speaker is seen as needing to be politically impartial and to enjoy the confidence of the Commons.

Was this unusual?

There is no modern day precedent for a Speaker being voted out of office. In the old days (before 1560) seven were beheaded and one murdered. The most recent case of a Speaker being forced out was in 1695 when Sir John Trevor was expelled from the Commons after being found guilty of accepting a bribe. In modern times it is seen as a job for life, with the Speaker able to stay until death or retirement. The previous three Speakers were in place for seven, nine and eight years respectively.

What support did Mr Martin have?

There were still senior Labour figures backing Mr Martin before his announcement, including Sir Stuart Bell who said he had been "much maligned" and had a difficult job, but the number of backers appears to have declined rapidly during the expenses row. Mr Brown, pointedly, did not repeat his previous backing. Instead the prime minister said it must be a matter for the Commons rather than government.

Hasn't he been criticised over expenses before?

Yes. Mr Martin headed up a five-month internal inquiry into the expenses system in 2008, following the furore over Derek Conway's payments to his son. Some questioned the decision to allow MPs to investigate their own expenses - Standards watchdog Sir Christopher Kelly said he was "baffled" by it. There was also criticism it was too slow. And he has been accused of trying to block expenses details from being released - notably by fighting a ruling that they be published under the Freedom of Information Act. He had argued that it would jeopardise MPs' security if addresses were published. MPs later voted to exempt their own addresses from publication.

What about his own expenses?

It emerged in February 2008 that some black cab trips made by Mr Martin's wife to buy food were claimed on expenses. There were also complaints that he claimed for a home he owns outright in Scotland, and that he used air miles earned on official business to buy first-class tickets for some relatives to fly to London over the New Year. Parliament's standards chief John Lyon later ruled Mr Martin's wife was within her rights to claim back £4,139 spent on the taxis. He said the claims were "not excessive". While all claims had been declared and did not break the rules Mr Martin faced criticism as he was in charge of setting those rules.

What other challenges had Mr Martin faced?

Controversy has surrounded Mr Martin from the time he succeeded Betty Boothroyd as Speaker. Traditional alternation of the role meant the Conservatives believed one of their MPs should have become Speaker, but Mr Martin was elected from a field of 12. He has since had his impartiality in the role questioned and came under fire last year after it emerged the police had searched the Parliament offices of Tory MP Damian Green without a search warrant in a leak inquiry.

Great Britons

With much of the news revolving around the shoddy excuses loosely disguised as human beings acting as MPs, TTel has a rather nice feature on great British adventurers to boost the moral:

When it comes to adventure, Britain really does rule. From the last great firsts of the previous century to modern exploration, we're at the forefront. But, who are the greatest living adventurers in the country? Some may be household names, while others have achieved incredible feats but not the fame. Our main criteria? Those who have made genuine firsts or pioneering journeys.

1 Sir Ranulph Fiennes

The Guinness Book of Records called him "the world's greatest living explorer" after his epic 100,000 mile Transglobe Expedition in 1982. But, the epithet from his patron, Prince Charles, is perhaps more apt: "Mad but marvellous."

2 Sir Chris Bonington

Arguably the most prolific climber of the world, for more than 50 years Sir Chris has made first ascents from the crags of Britain to the mountains of the Himalayas. Aged 74, he continues to climb and explore unknown mountains.

3 Sir Robin Knox-Johnston

As the first person to sail single-handed, non-stop around the world, Sir Robin needs little introduction. Three years ago, aged 67, he proved he still had it in him, competing in the Velux 5 Oceans race.

4 Col John Blashford-Snell

His fondness for dressing up like Indiana Jones and searching for strange animals make it difficult to take "Blashers" too seriously today. But his descents of the Blue Nile in 1968 and Congo River in 1974-5 were pioneering and helped popularise white-water rafting. He later founded Operation Raleigh, the forerunner for almost all gap year projects.

5 Sir Chay Blyth

Sir Chay characterises a certain British approach to adventure – that ability to bite the bullet and get on with it. In 1966 he rowed the Atlantic with John Ridgeway then entered the 1968 Round the World Yacht race despite having virtually no sailing experience. Four years later, he became the first man to sail the wrong way around the world.

Alpinists

6 Mick Fowler

Few climbers take such an enthusiastic approach to the vicarious pleasures of hard alpinism as Mick Fowler, who has recently taken to exploring China's mountains. As famous for his taxman day job as his fondness for understatement – a miserable bivouac is likely to be described as "impressively uncomfortable".

7 Kenton Cool

Cool has forged a reputation as one of Britain's hard young climbers. His ascent of Annapurna III in Nepal with Ian Parnell earned him a Piolet d'Or nomination – a climbing Oscar. He has also climbed Mount Everest six times, including twice in one week as a guide – a formidable achievement.

8 Leo Houlding

Best known for racing Jeremy Clarkson up the Verdon Gorge, Houlding is a pioneer of para-alpinism – climbing huge rock faces then BASE jumping back down again. He describes the sport as "bloody dangerous and highly addictive".

Aviation

9 Richard Meredith-Hardy

A two-time winner of the Britannia Trophy, Meredith-Hardy is the first and only man to have piloted a microlight over the summit of Mount Everest.

10 Brian Milton

A born adventurer, Milton's first expedition was to drive across the Sahara Desert to meet his fiancée. In 1998 he became the first man to microlight around the world.

11 Brian Jones

In 1999, Brian Jones and Bertrand Piccard Jones were the first men to pilot a balloon non-stop around the world. The former RAF pilot is now developing a solar-powered aeroplane.

Underwater

12 Rick Stanton

Rick Stanton is at the forefront of modern cave exploration, crawling in the Earth's underbelly to places where no humans have been before and few are likely to follow.

13 Phil Short

Short is a top "tech" diver who explores caves, ranging from his local Swildon's Hole in the Mendips to the Urals. A master of furrowing through confined and difficult spaces his motto is: "It's too tight when I can't get my head through."

Women

14 Justine Curgenven

Curgenven is one of the world's top sea kayakers. In 2007, she successfully paddled 1,700 miles around New Zealand's South Island.

15 Roz Savage

After 11 years as a management consultant, Savage rowed solo across the Atlantic in 2005. Last year, she rowed from California to Hawaii.

16 Dee Caffari

A protégé of Sir Chay Blyth, Caffari became the first woman to sail single-handed the wrong way around the world in 2006. She then successfully made the leap to professional sailing, finishing sixth in last year's Vendee Globe.

17 Ann Daniels

When the polar explorer Pen Hadow was looking for a navigator for his Catlin Arctic Survey he chose Ann Daniels, "not because she's a woman. But because she's the best".

Free spirits

18 Jason Lewis

Lewis fought crocodiles, broke his leg and nearly went mad during his 13-year, 46,000-mile odyssey circumnavigating the globe by pedal power.

19 Pen Hadow

Only one man has ever trekked solo and unsupported to the Geographic North Pole from Canada. It defeated numerous explorers for 20 years. The crown went to Pen Hadow in 2003.

20 Benedict Allen

Benedict Allen has led expeditions across the Amazon, where he famously ate his dog, Papua New Guinea and the Namib desert. He also pioneered the video diary.

Job Well Done

The Daily Telegraph will not face a police inquiry over the disclosure of MPs’ expenses, the head of Scotland Yard, Sir Paul Stephenson, has announced.

A complaint was made to police earlier this month by Malcolm Jack, the Clerk of the House of Commons, about the “handling of the leaked material”. Top Plod gadgy said:

“We have concluded that in all the circumstances and based on all the information we do not believe a police investigation to be appropriate. The Metropolitan Police believe that the public interest defence would be likely to prove a significant hurdle in securing a prosecution.

An Assistant Commissioner has written to Malcolm Jack informing him that we have decided at this moment in time not to investigate the matters referred to us regarding alleged leaks to The Daily Telegraph.

In reaching this decision consideration was given to the likelihood of a prosecution and whether a prosecution would be appropriate given other potential sanctions that might be available.”

Too right- apart from the fact that all disclosed information was going to be published in the summer anyway, the newspaper should be applauded for their investigative work and handling of this particular subject. Had it not been for them, the greedy knackers would still be at it and still be bleeding the tax payer dry.

I suggest that Dibble use their resources on the real villains here and concentrate on prosecuting the MPs who have fraudulently claimed thousands on phantom mortgages which they have conveniently since paid back after suggesting it was only an "over sight".

See Ya

Michael Martin has become the first Speaker of the House of Commons for more 300 years to be forced from office as he paid the price for mishandling the crisis over MPs’ expenses. At 14.34 he called order from the Speaker’s chair. He announced:

“Since I came into the House 30 years ago, I have always felt that the House is at its best when it is united. In order that unity can be maintained, I have decided to relinquish the post of Speaker on Sunday 21st June.”

It's not ideal as he still has a month or so to go, but hopefully they'll be checking his bags as he goes to and fro- we wouldn't any further "perks" to go missing, would we? A new Speaker will be elected the following day but there is however better news on the back of this too.

Martin’s resignation– the first by a Speaker since Sir John Trevor in 1695, is expected to be followed by the departures of MPs who have been found to have exploited the expenses system. McBroon has finally lost the splinter up his arse and jumped off his fence to pledge that any Labour MP found to have broken the rules would be deselected by the party.

Party leaders agreed to a complete overhaul of MPs’ expenses, capping monthly mortgage interest claims at £1 250 and banning the use of taxpayers’ money to pay for food, furniture and gardening. It's a start but not good enough. However, a General Election now would also help but like that's going to happen any time soon. Still, one has to begin from somewhere and seeing the back of that odious man, Martin is just the tonic the country needed.

How Peculiar

The first of March will never land on a Sunday in the 21st century.

Bye- Bye, B & E

It's been strangely quiet on the Blog these last few weeks as one of our biggest contributors, Brendan/Au Paddy has been with us and not hunched over his pc. By now, they will be arriving at Phuket Airport (where we shall be in a few hours) and then taking off from Bangkok on their way back to Blighty.

It's been a blast and despite us being here for two weeks, it still wasn't enough to have a proper catch up. Hopefully they'll be back in September for Edy's sister's wedding and if so, we can meet up in Bangkok and return the hospitality.

Safe trip and see you back on here as and when you get the time. :o)

Back to Bangkok

If all goes well, we'll be stepping into the Imm Hotel sometime tonight and be reacquainting ourselves with their wonderful staff. As ever, O'Tool's have looked after us to ensure we've had yet another comfortable stay and we've wanted for nothing, but it's time for us to return to the city.

Farewell Phuket/Karon beach- you've probably got the best waters and beaches we've yet experienced but given a choice of shopping or surf, pass me the plastic bags, every time. Hasta la visa (card), baby...

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Bad Week

It's not been the best of weeks for my other brother-in-law.

Firstly he moved house on the weekend and had to endure days of non-stop rain.

Then he found out he's been made redundant.

Then he had to put their dog down. :-(

After all of that, one truly can only says it's going to get better but next weekend Newcastle play to stay in the Premiership...

Hope you get a bigger slice of the green very soon, Shaun and if you need a break, you know where we are. Just drop us a line and we'll take care of things.

** Breaking News **

Micheal Martin, has stepped down from his position as Speaker in the House of Commons.

Finally something he has done that I can applaud. Good riddance to bad rubbish. :o)

Off Tomorrow

We've done our time in Phuket and head back to our most favourite capital in the world (so far) Bangkok tomorrow. We only have five days to enjoy all it can offer, but we intend to make the most of it.

We'll be off and on the Blog as often as we can in the meantime, but as ever with each move, it takes time to get settled. Bear with us and we'll try and make it worth your while. :o)

It's a Matter of Safety

A speed camera set up to catch motorists speeding through roadworks in London issued almost £1 million worth of tickets in just five months of operation.

The camera, which was fixed to monitor cars on the busy A 316 Country Way, in Hanworth, South-West London, was catching motorists at the rate of more than 100 every day and ended up ensnaring 16 213 speeders. With a normal speeding offence resulting in a £60 fine and 3 points it means the camera site was responsible for £973 000 worth of fines and almost 50 000 penalty points.

Fine work Traffic Plod; good to hear that you're saving all those lives.

Human Rights Winner

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This gimmick is the latest con to make some cash from lazy parents.

It's a ball and chain designed to keep errant students at their desk and studying and will set you back £75 for the privilege. Concerned mums and dads set the desired study time on the Study Ball and attach it to their child's ankle. A red digital display counts down the "Study Time Left" and the device beeps and unlocks when the time expires.

God help us all...

Schadenfreude- The Squirming Maggot

What a wonderful example of good written English. The subject is also rather amusing...

Disorder! Disorder! The moment the Speaker, Michael Martin, finished his statement, his assassins sprang to their feet. His few friends stayed seated. At this moment, the Prime Minister — a living wreck, eyes hollow, mouth slack — slipped out of the chamber, leaving his fellow Scot on his own.

Looking out, seeing only foes, Mr Martin at least picked an enemy he knew well: Gordon Prentice, serial rebel, serious parliamentarian, as irritating as a mosquito, as persistent as an itch. “A motion of no confidence in you, sir, will appear on the order paper tomorrow,” intoned Mr Prentice, dagger in hand. “Am I right in thinking it will be debated and voted upon?”

The Speaker, cowardice flashing like a neon sign, dodged the question: “This is not a point of order!”

Mr Prentice, eyes flashing, shouted: “Oh yes it is!”

“Order!” Mr Speaker bumbled on. “Please allow me to . . . Order! . . . these are matters for debate on an appropriate motion.” But MPs would not be appropriate or brought to order. They, who can barely organise breakfast, are trying to organise a beheading. Actually it is worse than that. They need to get Mr Martin to organise his own beheading for the benefit of the greater good. Mr Martin, as stubborn as our Prime Minister and not nearly as smart, thinks he can survive by stonewalling.

The assassins kept up the pressure with more questions about the beheading debate. “It is not a substantive motion,” Mr Martin insisted, for he believes in pedantry with a fierceness mighty to behold. From the bar of the House, the Tory Richard Bacon bellowed: “It IS a substantive motion!”

Oh, who cares, I thought. But Mr Martin does. He ignored the blatant shows of disrespect (as sure a sign as any that he’s a goner) and concentrated on the detail. Now he leant forward, robes billowing, and consulted his bewigged clerk about the Great Substantive Motion Question. The wig whispered: “It’s a motion on a remaining order.”

Mr Speaker, his tongue twisting, announced: “It’s a remaining order on the remaining order!”

Is this farce? Is this history? It is certainly hystery (hysterics, but important hysterics). Mr Speaker is like a whale who, his sonar berserk, has found himself trapped on the beach, flopping around desperately. It’s hard to watch. He cannot survive without help, it all smells putrid and rubberneckers, career crash tourists, are flocking by.

The assassins spoke one by one, more in sorrow than in anger. The Tory grandee Sir Patrick Cormack pleaded eloquently. Richard Shepherd, who always sounds close to tears, emitted a cry of pain. David Winnick pointed him towards the door.

Flop. Flop. Flop. Finally Mr Speaker called on a friend, the emollient Sir Stuart Bell. “The majority of this House will fully support the statement you made today,” soothed Sir Stuart to shouts of dismay. He heaped praise on the Speaker’s statement, which had put forward the brilliant idea that the expenses scandal can be fixed by yet another meeting.

“This House should calm itself down,” mollified Sir Stuart. “It should have a period of reflection and support you . . .” The encomium was cut short by rebellious shouts. “What world is he living in!” cried one MP. Why, Westminster, of course.

Delightfully pilfed from TTimes.

A Natural MP

In the spring of 2002, Jan Hendrik Schön was perhaps the most promising young scientist on the planet. The 32-year-old researcher at Bell Laboratories in New Jersey claimed to have created electronic circuits with transistors – the tiny switches inside – made not of silicon but of materials that were closer to plastic. He had made innovative superconductors, objects with a seemingly magical ability to conduct electricity without wasting any of it; he had come up with the first organic laser, the first light-emitting transistor, and had delved into the world of nanotechnology to produce a transistor based on a single molecule. There was just one problem: many of his discoveries, which dazzled the scientific world, were complete fabrications.

Schön's fraud was the largest ever exposed in physics; he ended up without a job, and was forced to leave America in disgrace. But the ease with which his fraudulent findings and grotesque errors were accepted by his peers raises troubling questions about the way in which scientists assess each other's work, and whether there might be other such cases out there.

On the face of it, the young German was the last person you would finger as a liar. Polite and self-possessed, Schön spent nine years working his way through a diploma and PhD in physics at the University of Constance in Italy. He was a solid student, quick with physics problems and keen to fit in with others' expectations. He had avoided military service by relocating to Austria as a teenager, and so was a year younger than his peers. Hesitant to make career plans, he was easily persuaded by his supervisor to take up an offer of an internship at Bell Laboratories in America, owned by the telecoms company Lucent Technologies (now Alcatel-Lucent).

In 1997, when Schön was recruited, Bell was undergoing a revival in fundamental research after several years of decline. Historically, it had teemed with erudite scientists, hosting the research for six Nobel Prizes. One of those was for the invention, in 1947, of the transistor: a key component of modern electronics (there are about a billion on the circuit board of the latest computers).

Schön was recruited to a research programme that involved making transistors from organic crystals, a purified form of plastic. Although plastic electronics had significant disadvantages when compared with silicon-based computers – if they could be made to work at all – they held out the possibility of creating lighter and more flexible computer chips, ideal for tagging products with identification tags, producing thin, bendy computer screens that would act as "electronic paper", or computers that could be incorporated into items of clothing or accessories.

He set to work and, extrapolating from decade-old literature on organic crystals, was, by 1998, producing data on the flow of charge through the materials. A hard worker, Schön was often seen in the lab preparing crystal samples by attaching wires to make them into circuits. But by 2000, he was increasingly working on his own. He also spent a lot of time flying back to his old lab in Constance, supposedly to continue with research begun as a PhD student. This sideline was tolerated by the management at Bell Labs, who saw exchanges with other labs as advantageous for both sides.

On one occasion, after a trip to Constance, Schön showed colleagues in a neighbouring lab at Bell an astonishing graph. It appeared to show the output of an oscillating circuit. He claimed he had built the circuit in Constance using crystals from Bell Labs. The result were fantastic – but not impossible – and admiring colleagues helped Schön prepare a manuscript reporting the new claims.

They sent that manuscript, with more than a dozen others over the next year and a half, to the journal Science. Along with its British competitor Nature, Science was – and is – the most prestigious place to publish research. This was not only because of its circulation (about 130,000, compared with 3,700 for a more niche publication such as Physical Review Letters), but also because, like Nature, it has a well-organised media operation that can catapult the editor's favourite papers into the pages of national newspapers.

The media attention is sometimes justified, as the journals operate quality control via peer review, a process in which papers are pre-vetted by other experts. But Schön was a master at playing the system. He presented conclusions that he knew, from feedback at Bell Labs, experts were bound to find appealing. Editors at both journals received positive reviews and took extraordinary steps to hurry Schön's papers into print: on one occasion Science even suspended its normal policy of requiring two independent peer reviews because the first review the editors had obtained was so positive. Nature seems to have kept to its policies, but failed on at least one occasion to make sure Schön responded to questions raised by reviewers.

By the middle of 2001, more than a dozen laboratories around the world were trying to replicate Schön's work on organic crystals, motivated by the prospect of building on the findings in Science and Nature. Yet without access to the details of his methods, which were strangely absent from the published reports, no one was successful. It was a depressing year for scores of scientists, whose first thought when they were unable to replicate the work was to blame themselves.

One of the most cherished beliefs of scientists is that their world is "self-correcting" – that bad or fraudulent results will be shown up by other experiments and that the truth will emerge. Yet this system relies, far more than is generally realised, on trust: it was natural for his peers to question the way Schön interpreted his data, but taboo to question his integrity.

In 1830, the British mathematician Charles Babbage wrote of the distinction between truth-seekers and fraudsters in his Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of Its Causes. The former, he said, zealously prevent bias from influencing facts, whereas the fraudster consciously allows his prejudices to interfere with observations. But what Schön was in fact doing was cleverer than simply falsifying his data, and claiming some miraculous breakthrough. By talking to colleagues, he worked out what results they hoped for – so when he fabricated results that seemed to prove their theories and hunches, they were thrilled.

Schön was, in effect, doing science backwards: working out what his conclusions should be, and then using his computer to produce the appropriate graphs. The samples that littered his workspace were, effectively, props. The data he produced were not only faked, but recycled from previous fakeries (indeed, it was this duplication of favoured graphs that would prove his Achilles' heel).

So who is to blame? Schön, for stretching the truth to breaking point and beyond? His bosses, for pushing their scientists towards marketable discoveries and prestigious publications that would garner good publicity? The journals, for so eagerly accepting his stream of discoveries? Or his colleagues, for not raising more questions?

Viewed as a whole, Schön's case illustrates the difficulty science has with correcting itself in the face of fraud. With journals keen to publish results that appear to advance science in leaps and bounds, it's easy for remarkable results to attract major attention, whether or not the methods are sound. More recent frauds, such as that of the South Korean cloning pioneer Woo Suk Hwang, have also shown that the journal review processes remain very limited in their ability to catch deceptions.

Schön got caught, but only because he made some very foolish mistakes by duplicating data when he fabricated his results. If there's a silver lining, it is that by trying to recreate Schön's methods, other scientists were able to begin to detect that the fraudulent research seemed problematic. By providing a stronger emphasis on clarification of methods, instead of results, both journals and Bell Labs managers could have put pressure on Schön sooner (although the former Bell managers are proud of having called in investigators eventually, and editors of having promptly retracted Schön's papers).

But Schön's case also suggests a recipe for judging any science headline: any time a major breakthrough is reported without the researcher in question showing details of how they carried out the experiment, it's time to start asking questions. If something seems too good to be true, it very possibly is.

Thanks to TTel- The title says it all...

Quite Right

A mother was ordered to stop breastfeeding her baby next to a swimming pool because of rules banning "food and drink" in the area. The woman in question said:

"People in bikinis were showing more skin and breast than I was. When it happened, it made me feel angry. It could put people off going swimming."

Yes pet, and to some, seeing you get your ta-tas out is just as off putting.

No Winners

Remember that sordid tale of the 13 year old father (see archives)? Turns out he wasn't the father after all- it was another 15 year old gadgy. Suddenly it all goes quiet at Max Clifford's end and we can forget this sad state of affairs.

Same, Same


So reads the headline, but it's business as usual. Particularly as McBroon waffles that Labour MPs and peers that it was "imperative, urgent and important that we take action now" to restore public trust on the expenses system.

Like most of his pledges, "now" seems to be a word he fails to understand. And it's not just the expense system we distrust.

OK then. We'll just have to continue to not believe a single word our MPs say and allow them to keep our "democracy" and parliament in the gutter. Clearly they can't be arsed, so why should we?

Monday, 18 May 2009

Early Morning Cuppa

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The Housekeeping girls here really are utterly brilliant. We don't always need our bed made up or new towels, but irrespective of whether they come into our room, they always leave us a "few" sachets of tea, coffee and accompaniments. They can be a tad enthusiastic though- this (the book is for reference to gauge amount) is just three day's worth. :oD

Very Generous

Just finished printing off our travel and accommodation vouchers for the rest of the year; 18 sheets, and O'T's let us use their colour printer for free. Try finding such a big hearted offer in the UK. Yeah, right.

Price of Laundry

Over the course of our stay we've used several different places to get our washing done, except funnily enough O'Tool's, where we're actually staying. That's simply because we're not fans of laundry which is priced per item- we'd rather pay per kilogramme and this time we went across the road to the local bar* we've been using (which also does much cheaper beer which is draught to boot).

Three and a half kilo came to a reasonable THB 175 (~£3.50) for the fortnight but the funniest thing was Maurice (one of the owners at O'T's) saw us arriving with our bagful and asked us why we hadn't used their service.

Because you charge per item and not by weight. Really? He seemed totally unaware of this and then wanted to know how much it would have cost us. Erm, a lot more, which is why we used someone else... :oD





*Oasis Bar/Laundry/Rooms- draught Tiger at THB 60 per mug and THB 50 per kg of laundry. No idea about the price of a room, but they've also got good TV.

Congrats to Gus

This mad and thoroughly amiable Scotsman we've got to know over the last fortnight. He's just passed his bike test in what must have been one of the most rigorous downpours of tropical rain since we've arrived and becomes all legal on the road.

I'm not quite sure why he's only doing it now, having lived here for three years (maybe the UK licence covered him?) but he seemed rather chuffed at getting through the test in more than difficult conditions.

Cost of Hire

Although Phuket may be pricey in all things necessary to have a good time on holiday such as eating and drinking, the prices to hire transport are more than reasonable. We've seen prices such as THB 1 100 per day for a rather swish looking Honda 4 door saloon car (~£22/day) and a budget friendly THB 150/day (three quid) for an autospastic scooter.

Imagine the bargaining one could do if one hired for a month?

Flies

OK, so where do they hide away when you're ordering your food and just as it arrives at your table, they make an appearance a squadron of Spitfire would be proud of?

Nasty, irritating little bastids that I can quite happily kill along with mosquitoes.

And One From C & H

Click to Enlarge

The Telegraph Speaks

And it has every right to, after uncovering this festering sore of corruption and sheer greed:

As MPs return today from a difficult weekend in their constituencies, they can be under no illusion about the depth of people's anger at the way many of them have shamelessly profiteered by claiming expenses and allowances to which they are not entitled. If they are still missing the point, they should look at today's YouGov poll which reveals not only that voters don't trust them – they want the most egregious offenders hauled off to prison. The public's gloomy but wholly justifiable verdict is that this country can no longer claim to have higher standards of honesty and integrity in politics than other countries.

It is therefore imperative that the poison be drained. It is not enough for MPs who have wrongfully claimed to pay the money back, and apologise with some feeble sound bite about their bookkeeping not being up to scratch. Nor is it enough for the greediest to be deselected by their local parties, though we are confident that will happen. For any sense of honour to be restored, there must be resignations. By that we do not mean resigning from the job of an unpaid aide to the party leader (which is what Andrew Mackay did) or even standing down as a minister (Shahid Malik's response to our revelations about the discounted rent on his designated main home in his Dewsbury constituency). We mean resignations from the House of Commons. Only if the worst culprits remove themselves from Parliament can it start to rebuild its shattered reputation.

This process must start from the top. Michael Martin, the Speaker of the Commons, has presided over this imbroglio, as well as being one of its many beneficiaries. He has taken it upon himself to resist at every turn attempts to reform this rotten system and even led the legal attempts to prevent disclosure of MPs' expenses under the Freedom of Information Act. He has also been responsible for the abject performance of the Commons Fees Office which has failed utterly to monitor the expenses and allowances system with any rigour and, as our story today shows, has even been complicit in assisting MPs to make wrongful claims.

To this bill of indictment must be added Speaker Martin's disgraceful handling of the events of the past 10 days. His peevish performance last Monday, when he rounded on independently minded MPs who were trying to speak up for the dignity of Parliament, was shameful. Mr Martin's inability to rise to the challenge presented by the Telegraph's disclosures confirm that he is not worthy of the high office he holds. Yesterday, Nick Clegg, the leader of the Liberal Democrats, said that the Speaker should go. So did David Davis from the Conservatives, while William Hague, the shadow foreign secretary, said Mr Martin's fate should be decided "this week" on a free vote in the Commons.

Will Gordon Brown, whose handling of this crisis has been woefully indecisive, continue to throw the Government's weight behind Mr Martin? Or is some backstairs deal being cobbled together that will see Mr Martin announce he will stand down – but not until the next election? Neither option is acceptable. The House of Commons faces a monumental task if it is to restore public confidence in its probity and that work cannot start under the leadership of a discredited Speaker. There are clear signs that he has already lost the confidence of a large number of MPs – those who have done nothing wrong are feeling particularly aggrieved. If Mr Martin tries to cling on, the House of Commons will face only further torment. If he harboured any respect for the institution he has so badly let down, he would go, and go now.

I'll lay good (unclaimed) money the man hasn't the integrity to stand down and he will try and squeeze as much jus out of the train as he can.