Old Southendian Hockey Club

Started playing (and I use the term very loosely) for this club from the age of around 16-17 and met some of my best, life-long friends there. I still receive a weekly bullet-in and always look for the write up on the game where my pals still play- despite us all having seen younger, fitter and stronger days. It never ceases to amaze me that not only do they still run (ish) up and down a pitch for 70 odd minutes but they keep scoring goals and winning too. Remarkable.

Anyway, not only does it bring back great memories and keeps me up to date with the club's results but I always have a real belly laugh at Dovey's writing skills. We were lucky enough to have him give us a best man's speech at our wedding and as ever, he brought the house down. Here's this week's report:

2nd team vs Harlow 1 Won 4-3 Scorer: Clark 3, Deayton

MOM: Clarky

JOS: Cobbold

A good day all in all, we beat the team second in the league and had a good dinner dance after to celebrate. Harlow are a graceless and humourless side; drive through Harlow’s drab estates and you will see why. You would have thought a nice trip to the seaside would have cheered them up but alas no, we were presented with their miserable faces and endless whining for a second time this season. We did however give them something to whine about because we scored to beat them with only five minutes to go, and as we all know there is nothing worse than having salvaged a point, having it snatched away again at the last knockings. Ha ha ha.

Hockey Bit.

Kill Bill Deayton scored a really good goal, no I’m not kidding, it really was a good goal, so good in fact we all did a double take to make sure it was him. Not that he isn’t good enough to score good goals, it was just surprising to find him pop up in the poacher’s position in the D. They scored an equaliser and Clarky biffed in a short and put us ahead again and then Clarky biffed in a short and put us further ahead. They got two back and Clarky biffed in a short and put us ahead again.

Just as an experiment I tried to write about the hockey, but if there is anything I’ve learnt over the years it’s that hockey reports can be a bit of a dry lunch when you include hockey, so I promise I won’t do it again.

A fabulous performance by John Cobbold saw him win the jacket for the second time this season. I nearly forgot to say that he didn’t actually play; just his appearance as a spectator was enough to remind the team of his dying swan performance the last time (against Harlow) and give it to him again. Tee he he. Thanks to our two umpires Roger’n’Reeso who endured a torrent of abuse from the harping Harlows; I don’t know what they were moaning about; Dave Reeso stood in front of me at a short corner preventing me from running and letting them shoot and score without a challenge. That gifted goal was worth a few duff decisions so next time guys, send them all off! Thanks to our other spectators for fine support especially Mr Dead, Alan High-age who raised himself from the crypt to have a laugh at our expense. Good sarnies from Nic MacSandwich who came up with a cracking chicken bacon and garlic mayonnaise. Yum yum!

Dovey.

Clarky at Man of the Match with yet another hat trick was another best man at our wedding, and Tolly (Cobbold) and Nic Mc were there too.

Well played lads, but I'm still glad I hung up my stick; it must have been freezing this weekend. ;-)