Monday, 11 December 2017

Well Said


The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon Bonaparte
French general & politician (1769 - 1821)

Ouch!

Who?

Georgia Toffolo

Right then, have a guess who this is?

Nope, nor me, haven't the foggiest- nor do I care.  But I'll put you out of your misery, she is Georgia Toffolo, winner of this year's I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here.

Apparently she is a "reality star" called Toff but I still have no idea what she does, who she is or why she is "famous".  She's in good company, mind.  Previous winners include Scarlett Moffatt and Vicky Pattinson.

All together now, who?

BBC

News Thump

Boris Johnson
Foreign secretary Boris Johnson has promised to be sensitive as he visits Iran for crucial talks.
The bloated bumblegit arrived in Iran yesterday to discuss a number of topics, including the possible release of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, who faces a longer prison sentence thanks to Boris Johnson’s idiotic mouth.
The Foreign Secretary will call for the release of the 37-year-old mother-of-one on humanitarian grounds, amid fears that he will just turn the whole situation into even more of an almighty cock-up.
Seeking to reassure his critics, Boris told reporters, “Well, here I am in the land of bad breath and flying carpets. I mean, Persia. That is to say, Iran. Golly, it is hard to keep up, what?
“Anyway, I’ll be meeting with the Iranian equivalent of a prime minister, if such a person exists, and I’m sure we’ll clear up this little business of Nazanin in no time at all, and she’ll be on the next flight home.”
Beaming proudly he added, “All I have to do is remember to say she is a spy.
“What’s that? Oh yes – oops. She’s NOT a spy. That’s the one.
“My word, it is a good job one can’t get fired from Theresa May’s cabinet for incompetence, isn’t it?”
NT

Tongue Twisters

Get a Grip

The UK has snow and immediately the country grinds to a stop.  Chaos on roads and railways, disrupted flights, power cuts, yellow warnings from the Met Office and hundreds of school to stay closed today.

Two words.  Laughing stock.

Happy Non-Birthday

As per tradition, I got a non-birthday present and wifey excelled herself this year.  A new food processor.

The freebie from Tesco-Lotus' stamp offer was simply too small to be of use for making soup and so we now have a full sized unit with additional bits to hopefully make mince meat of anything we chuck at it.

And most importantly, the lid is lockable and so should stay on to prevent covering walls- and me.

DYK?

Goosebumps are actually caused by a muscle. It is called the arrector pili muscle.

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – alien

But Not so Good

For the Toon or Bielefeld, who both lost over the weekend.  Newcastle (losing to Leicester at home 3 - 2) drop to 16th but Arminia aren't as badly off, sitting in sixth.

Match Report

Mark Hughes said he “didn’t see that second half coming”. What was worse, his players didn’t see it as it happened. Tottenham raced away to turn a first-half advantage into a full-time supremacy here and, in the process, cast further doubt on Hughes’s tenure as Stoke manager.
The statistics from Saturday’s game were as follows: Ryan Shawcross’s own goal gave Spurs a first-half lead for only the second time in the Premier League at Wembley; Harry Kane scored twice, taking his total for England and Spurs in 2017 to 50, and leaving him just three short of Alan Shearer’s Premier League record of 36 in a calendar year (with four more matches to play); Son Heung-min scored once and claimed two assists in a man-of-the-match performance; the South Korean also gave a chasing to poor Tom Edwards, Stoke’s 18-year-old wing-back who was withdrawn before the end.
Spurs, for a moment at least, close the gap on the top four to one point. They also steady any nerves after a run of two points from four matches. “The collective performance was very good,” said the Tottenham manager, Mauricio Pochettino. “Maybe it was no better than other days that we play here, against West Bromwich Albion, or [away] at Watford and Arsenal but we were clinical in front of goal. We had a good mentality and most importantly, good focus from the beginning.”
Pochettino had called a team meeting before this match to emphasise the importance of a good start. Spurs had scored twice in the first half against Apoel Nicosia in the Champions League in midweek and the Argentinian was determined that his side finally brought something similar to bear on their league form. The opening 20 minutes failed to oblige and the elements were all too familiar; a massed Stoke defence, not much movement, frustrating touches from Dele Alli and crosses cleared before they could reach Kane.
Then in the 21st minute, Son made the breakthrough. The liveliest of Spurs’ attackers (unlike Kane and Christian Eriksen, he had played against Apoel), the Korean was facing up against Edwards on the left wing. He shuffled the ball from one foot to the other to gain a yard on the teenager but that was enough. Son got his cross off, it took a deflection off Kurt Zouma and Shawcross put the ball into his own net.
Hughes bemoaned his luck with the goal. “It was an unfortunate deflection to take the lead,” he said. “You don’t want to concede first against Spurs away from home. But we had a number of good moments.” This was a bit of an exaggeration, though they had a couple of moments that might have come to something had the bounce fallen their way. When the whistle blew for half-time, however, Stoke were seriously under the cosh.
Hughes said his half-time teamtalk focussed on staying in the match. “The plan was to keep a foothold in the game, not to go gung-ho,” he said, “that would have been ridiculous.” But either his players did not understand the instructions or they ignored them.
Stoke pressed forward from the first whistle in the second half , committing more numbers in attack. In the 53rd minute they had the ball in the Tottenham half, but when possession was turned over they were in trouble. A blocked through ball bobbled up to Harry Winks. The youth-team graduate, so calm wherever he finds possession, flicked a pass over his shoulder and casually pulled the entire Stoke defence apart. Alli received the ball, span, slipped a pass through the advanced centre-backs and Son ran on to finish clinically for a deserved goal.
At that point the floodgates opened. Just a minute later Kane, who had missed a glorious first-half chance when one on one with Stoke goalkeeper Jack Butland, scored from an Eriksen cross with a powerful header. With 65 minutes gone he sealed the game with the kind of calm, composed finish that has made his name, leaving Butland no chance at his left-hand post.
Alli, still struggling for his best form but having contributed where it mattered, was withdrawn for Érik Lamela, the Argentinian continuing his rehabilitation from injury. In a bizarre move, Hughes responded by going on the offensive, bringing off the young and shaken Edwards, and replacing him with Peter Crouch.
“I wouldn’t have put him in if didn’t think he could handle it,” Hughes said of Edwards, whose only other league start came in the 7-2 defeat at Manchester City in October. “He’s been unfortunate in the games I’ve chosen for him.”
Crouch’s 74th-minute header was cleared by Kieran Trippier to Son who ran the length of the pitch before threading in Eriksen for Spurs’s fifth. Stoke did get on the scoresheet, Shawcross heading in after Hugo Lloris missed a corner in the 80th minute. But the Stoke captain could not bring himself to celebrate.
Now three points off the drop zone and unable to keep a clean sheet, Stoke are being dragged into a relegation battle. You wonder what Tony Pulis might be making of it all?
TG

Missed the Game

Only in Bangkok can you have a frantic birthday party and have the whole Tottenham game showing live on a huge drop down screen.  As mentioned, I missed all the goals but can catch up with the match on MotD later, and I was quite stunned to see the final score.  5 - 1 against Stoke, usually no push over at all.

Can't wait to see that replay.

Birthday Presents



I have quite a reputation for buying wifey crap for her birthday.  If she is really unlucky, it's worse than crap and just practical and useful.  In the past we have had an electric typewriter, a kettle, a waterproof apron with matching tea towels and rubber washing up gloves (a particular favourite of mine, wifey was less than enthused), a hot water bottle, a tin of soup- the list goes on.  Above you will see this year's stellar offerings:

  • a mini Nerf gun for shooting people on the telly (I sure will get a lot of use out of that)
  • Bisto vegetarian gravy granules (no, this was before we picked up the cheap lot due to a pricing error)
  • a fully adjustable wrist strengthener (to build up muscle and strength in wifey's knackered left hand)
  • a telescopic walking stick (handy for her fecked up foot until she gets her op)
  •  Yoga mat 
  • 2018 diary
  • mini dustpan and brush (for use with her dolls house)
I'd be well made up with that haul but she was not overly impressed.

But it matters not, come Christmas she will be more than chuffed- then come the real presents.

Why the Punk

Before turning out we had a trip down memory lane as we watched the Punk Britannia documentary.  It's a three-parter and sure brought back some memories of our youth.

I think the biggest memory jolt was just how poor some of the bands were, they could barely hold a note, merely scream into the mics.  But that era wasn't renowned for its musical talent (some exceptions aside) rather than the kids of Britain waking up and rebelling.

Powerful documentary and we still have the third part to come, later today.

Thanks Also To

The Corner at Soi 93, in particular Khun Alix who single-handidly coped with running the bar, bouncing (only one incident;  a runner but he paid up sharpish when Alix caught up with him, and no, not one of our crowd) and ensured we had all manner of tunes that would have tied a Wurlitzer up in knots.

Couldn't believe we had The Clash, Sham 69, Stiff Little Fingers, The Jam and The Damned to name but a fraction, all mixed in with Dr Feelgood, Lizzy, AC/DC, Deep Purple and Led Zep.

Cracking sounds and not one person dancing.  Just how it should be!

Merold and Francois


A bit blurred but that was default setting for the entire Sunday.

Ex Imm



Delighted to see Khun Bic, Khin Katie and Khun Surasit (the first person I ever conversed with at the Imm, all the way back in 2007).  We look forward to meeting up again in the new year.

Follow the Hat




I think it's fair to say I look the most dashing in the titfer... 😁

What a Birthday

Wifey couldn't have asked for more (except maybe on the present front- see later).  A quite spectacular turnout with over thirty people in attendance, both old and new faces, local and ex-pat, a cracking buffet and bang on sounds, including duelling guitars with Merold, David & Francois ripping out the riffs.

I can't quite recall what time we left but if we saw the entire Spurs game (can you believe I missed every sodding goal?) and continued on, it must have been well past midnight.  Not bad considering we're now both in the fifties club and kicked off at 18:00...

Many thanks to all of our friends for helping wifey celebrate her birthday, it was a smashing night and she loved her bottles of wine.  Tommy and Khun Beer arrived with two (and a lovely bouquet) with another red from Francois and Khun On.  Only one made it back and will be going down with Christmas dinner.

C & H x 2



Sunday, 10 December 2017

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Topic

Big Up for the in-laws

Newcastle has been voted the "in place" for 2018, after The Rough Guide voted the north eastern city as the best city to visit next year.

Rough Guides says 2018 is “Newcastle’s time to shine", adding

"Next summer the city– along with neighbouring Gateshead, will host the Great Exhibition of the North, a two-month jamboree that will tell the story of Northern England and how its artists and innovators have helped shape the world we live in. Expect live music, performance art and insightful exhibitions at some wonderful venues.”

It also commends Geordies’ friendliness and compliments the city’s lively nightlife, burgeoning restaurant scene, quality of museums and its architectural highlights, such as the Tyne Bridge.  Finally, Rough Guides recommends Newcastle for being “friendly on the wallet”.

Well done and such a refreshing change from London or Edinburgh.  Now if they can only get their Toon team to play a little better...

TInd

Aussie Einsteins

Latest "news" from TInd is how flight attendants in Australia use "code" to tip the nod to colleagues if they find a passenger attractive.  Some ex-trolley dolly blithered:

“Obviously when we are in the cabin and we are doing the drinks we can’t just be like ‘Oh doll check him out. You have to be subtle about it.

Because everyone knows their seat numbers, so we’re on the cart and he’ll be like, ‘I’m thinking of doing seven days in America… being ‘seat 7A’.  And I’ll be like, ‘yeah, I could do seven days in America!’”

Or like, six days in Denmark...”
How fiendishly clever but I do wonder if they were part of a Famous Five gang as kids and played with invisible ink?

Sadly Missing

Well Said

I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid.
John Gotti

3 Days?


This is how the pool looks after a whole week.  It will still look like this throughout the day.  We did have two gadgies appear for 10 minutes shortly after lunch yesterday.  One moved the hose pipe a bit, the other smoked a fag.

And where's the sun?

News Thump

Coventry applied for City of Culture status because they thought it was a type of kebab, according to reports this morning.
City of Culture, which is awarded every four years, is intended to be either a reflection of the contribution to the arts and the higher things in life, or a massive laugh – depending on who you ask.
The awarding panel were understood to have been ‘deeply impressed’ by Coventry’s entry, which described the city as the best place to get an extra-large culture with salad and plenty of hot sauce.
The judges said they are now debating whether to tell Coventry what Culture actually means, or whether they should just wait and see what happens next.
”Either way this is going to be even better than when Hull made John Prescott cultural spokesman and he just told mother-in-law jokes and ate a pork pie,” they said.
When we asked Coventry Council about the award, proud mayor Simon Williams told us “There’s nowhere better in Britain to go out for six pints and then a Lamb Culture after chucking out time.
”Maybe with some of them pomp-a-doms too. You’ll like them. They’re like big crisps,” he added proudly.
NT

Spurs vs Stoke

Head-to-head
  • Spurs have won 4-0 in each of their past three Premier League matches against Stoke. No English side has won four consecutive top-flight matches against an opponent by four or more goals in each game.
  • Stoke's only league victory in the last seven away games against Tottenham came in November 2014 (D3, L3).
Tottenham Hotspur
  • Spurs could go five league matches without a win for the first time in a single season since March 2012.
  • They have earned just five points from six games, with their only league victory during that run coming at home to Crystal Palace.
  • Mauricio Pochettino's side have dropped nine points in their first seven Premier League games at Wembley this season, as many as in their last 23 league games at White Hart Lane.
  • Tottenham's total of four league defeats this season is already as many as in the entirety of the previous campaign.
  • Harry Kane has scored 31 Premier League goals in 2017. The only three players to have scored more in a calendar year are: Alan Shearer (36 in 1995), Robin van Persie (35 in 2011) and Thierry Henry (34 in 2004). Kane has scored six goals in his last three league appearances against Stoke.
  • Dele Alli has scored in all three of his Premier League games against Stoke, including twice in a 4-0 away win last year.
Stoke City
  • The Potters are vying to earn successive league wins for the first time since early January.
  • Stoke have 16 points after 15 matches, their lowest tally at this stage of a Premier League season.
  • They have only managed two wins and 10 points from their last 15 away games, and lost 12 of their last 19.
  • Mark Hughes' side have conceded 30 goals this season, the second-worst record in the division behind West Ham's 32.
  • Stoke have won four of their five games at the rebuilt Wembley Stadium, although they lost their most recent game at the ground against Manchester City in the 2011 FA Cup final.
  • Their next league defeat will be their 1,000 in the top flight.
  • Peter Crouch needs one goal to become Stoke's outright all-time leading Premier League scorer. He is level with Jonathan Walters on 43 goals.
  • Xherdan Shaqiri has been directly involved in nine goals in his last 11 league games, scoring four and setting up five.

DYK?

Spiders recycle webs by eating them.

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – tit for brains

File Too Big?

Thanks to good advice from my pal Dave the IT expert, I finally got around to re-formatting my thumb drive to accept larger files.

Default mode for most memory pens is FAT32 (or similar) and the maximum size file you can transfer is 4 Gb, which can be a problem at times.  By converting the format to NTFS, that 4 Gb limit can be exceeded.

Put your thumb drive into the USB port and once it opens in "This PC", right click on the memory pen icon to reveal a drop down menu:

fix slow speed usb drive stick



Under "File System" select NTFS (as above), uncheck "Quick Format" and click on "Start".  Depending on memory capacity, it will take several minutes to format but then you're good to go and you won't have warning pop ups restricting you to 4 Gb file transfers.

Big Day

While it's wifey's birthday proper tomorrow, she is celebrating with a small party tonight at Soi 93.  If everyone turns up we should see well over 20 people, both Thai and Farang and with food provided and maybe even live music, it should be a cracking night.

Shame we shall have many absent friends but that's the downside of living some 6 000 miles way from where most of them live.  Never mind, we shall be back in Europe in 2019 if all goes to plan.

Cop for This

Just got an email from our neighbours in the UK who have been refurbishing our flat so we can rent it out again in the new year.  They reported as follows:

"a new shower room with tiled walls and tiled floor, stone shower tray and 10 mm glass enclosure, and new door fitted  with brushed ally handles (this was done after replacing stud work wall which fell apart due to damp coming up from rotted joists and flooring and it did not help having a leaking 22 mm water pipe). move onto bedroom-not to bad, just replace damp plaster seal walls with anti fungal paint and 3 coats of matt finish emulsion,with satin finish woodwork new door fitted again brushed ally finish handles-new roller blind fitted to window. lounge area-strip old wallpaper and again repair damp wells matt finish to walls and again satin finish woodwork 2 new Venetian blinds fitted.old units in kitchen  and worktops are being replaced and laminate flooring fitted, and new sink and taps. on the 14th Dec AM new carpets are being fitted."

I can't believe that two people (a retired couple) have managed to do all of this in just two weeks and at a fantastic price too (change out of two grand including all materials and labour).

Talk about Christmas come early and with luck we should have the flat rented out soon enough for a good price.

C & H

Friday, 8 December 2017

Frankfurt for the Locals

I think since my cousins moved to this city, the only thing they haven't shown us are the hotels- we always stay with them at their smart apartment.

If you get the chance, go and enjoy Frankfurt, it really is a fabulous city.  In fact, were we to move to Germany, we would give this serious consideration as to where to live.

Neighbourhoods are changing fast. Most famously, the once druggy and seedy Bahnhofsviertel area around the train station has cemented its reputation as one of the city’s most interesting places, with new restaurants, galleries and clubs. In the industrial east end, the Marriott hotel chain has opened a third Moxy hotel near the new European Central Bank.
But the city really comes into its own in summer, when everyone chills on the banks of the river Main, drinking Ebbelwoi (apple wine), cycling, skating, strolling and looking up at the one notable city skyline in Germany. A few more skyscrapers will be added in the near future, thanks to Brexit. But this city has always been open and friendly to outsiders. So, welcome to Frankfurt.

WHAT TO SEE

Museums and galleries

Historisches Museum, Frankfurt, Germany.
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 Historisches Museum. Photograph: Alamy
Frankfurt has a lot of museums and exhibition spaces for a city of just 730,000 people. There’s the Städel (art spanning seven centuries), the MMK (modern art), the Liebighaus (sculpture), the Schirn (modern and contemporary exhibitions), the Fotografie-Forum, the MFK communication museum, the MAK for design, and so on. But for a primer on Frankfurt history, head to the Historisches Museum, which recently reopened in an elegant new building in Römerberg square, next to the historic townhouses in the heart of the city. The museum gives an overview of Frankfurt’s history and its people through household items, toys, textiles, furniture and paintings, and has a giant interactive snowdome.
 Entry €8, under-18s free, historisches-museum-frankfurt.de

Botanical gardens

Palmengarten, Frankfurt, Germany.

When local monarch Adolphe, Duke of Nassau, lost his throne in the Austro-Prussian War of 1866, Frankfurt bought up his beloved collection of tropical plants. The Palmengarten opened in 1871 spanning 22 hectares (54 acres) with formal gardens and a palm house, displaying plants from climate zones such as the monsoon forest, sub-arctic and desert. On summer evenings, the garden serves as a concert venue with a focus on jazz and world music. The Palmengarten also hosts a two-star Michelin restaurant, the Lafleur (three-course lunch from €52), in the Bauhaus-style clubhouse.
 Entry €7, palmengarten.de

Take a tram tour

The Ebbelwei Express.
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 The Ebbelwei Express. Photograph: Alamy
The Ebbelwei Express is charmingly old-fashioned and a lot of fun. It’s a psychedelically painted 1970s tram that circles the city on an hour-long loop every weekend, taking in sights such as the city zoo, the historic Römerberg and Willy-Brandt-Platz in the banking district. Ebbelwoi is the local cider and you take the tour with a bottle in hand, munching on pretzels (both included with ticket) and listening to strange German pub music.
 €8/€3.50, Sat and Sun from 1.30pm, every 30mins between Zoo and Messe, ebbelwei-express.de

Quality market hall

Kleinmarkthalle in Frankfurt, Germany.

In the heart of the city is the Kleinmarkthalle, where Frankfurters come to shop. It’s not the prettiest building but the quality is first rate – everything from local sausages and bread to handmade ravioli and excellent sushi. The best hot wurst in a bun is served by market veteran Ilse Schreiber, following an old family recipe – you’ll know it’s her from the long queue leading to her stall. Up on the balcony, the Rollanderhof wine bar gets busy as a popular after-work drinks spot.
 5-7 Hasengasse, Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8am-4pm, kleinmarkthalle.de

Great for shopping 

For young designers and quirky gifts, head to Brückenstraße and Wallstraße in Sachsenhausen, where you’ll find fashion boutiques for small and local brands such as women’s knitwear specialists MARIA and high-end boutique Freud, vinyl records at Number Two, specialist apple wine shops, small cafes and restaurants and one of the best ice-cream shops in the city in Bizziice. The street food Markt im Hof, with local cheeses and craft beers, is open every Saturday on Wallstraße.


WHERE TO EAT

Druckwasserwerk

Luxury restaurant Druckwasserwerk with modern office buildings, Westhafen Pier 1, Frankfurt, Germany.
 Photograph: Alamy
This restaurant is set in a huge 19th-century machine hall that once housed the steam engines needed to operate the elevators and cranes in the nearby port. The menu is upscale with a good selection of European dishes from a Wiener Schnitzel to pasta dumplings with truffle filling and a variety of steaks. But what makes it special is the industrial-scale ambience.
 Mains from €10.90, 16 Rotfeder Ring, restaurant-druckwasserwerk.de

The Henscheid 

Legendary German author Eckhard Henscheid in front of the Henscheid, Frankfurt, Germany
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 Legendary German author Eckhard Henscheid in front of the Henscheid. Photograph: PR
Frankfurt has among the highest densities of satirical artists and writers in a country with a reputation for not having a sense of humour. It even had its own satirical movement in the 70s and 80s, called the New Frankfurt School. The Henscheid is a pub named after one of its novelists, Eckhard Henscheid. There’s a large collection of satirical cartoons on the walls and it serves high quality dishes with a twist, like the fabulous pig roast with vanilla, chanterelles and French horn mushrooms. It also has the largest selection of schnapps in town. It’s more popular with locals than visitors.
 Mains from €14, 27 Mainkurstraße, henscheid-frankfurt.de

Dönerboot

The Dönerboot, Frankfurt, Germany.
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Strolling along the river Main, if you notice a crowd queueing in front of a small red and white boat, you’ve arrived at the Dönerboot. Here, Meral serves Turkish kebabs, a variety of grilled fish and homemade lemonade, called Omilade after his grandmother, who gave him the recipe. From the other side of the boat, he serves kebabs to bargemen, who slow down to grab their lunch over the gunwales.
 Kebabs from €5, 35 Schaumainkai, meral-event.de

Café Laumer

Kaffee und kuchen culture still holds its head up in this alpha world city at old-school coffee houses such as Café Laumer, in the Westend business district. Intellectuals from Frankfurt university used to meet here in the 1920s, and in the 60s the cafe was nicknamed Café Marx. The in-house patisserie bakes fine cakes and pies, such as apple streusel, champagne torte, and pflaumenkuchen (plum cake). Laumer also serves breakfast and lunch.
 Lunch from €15, 67 Bockenheimer Landstraße, cafelaumer.de

WHERE TO DRINK

Pubs and cider

Zum Gemalten Haus, Frankfurt
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 Gemalte Haus
Frankfurt is famous for its Ebbelwoi cider – but if you just order “apple wine” everyone will understand you. You can order it plain or with a splash of mineral water, in a single glass or in the earthenware jug we call the bembel. There are lots of specialist traditional pubs dedicated to it, where bankers and bus drivers, tourists and locals sit together at large tables. It almost doesn’t matter which pub you choose, they are all good and don’t vary a lot in pricing, but start with Kanonesteppel (20 Textorstraße) or Gemalte Haus (67 Schweizer Strasse), both in the Sachsenhausen quarter – old taverns with wooden panelling and simple furniture. Both pubs also serve good food (mains from around €8). Try the frankfurter schnitzel, a schnitzel with Grüne Sosse (green sauce), a salsa of fresh herbs and yoghurt with potatoes and boiled eggs that’s a modern classic of local cuisine, and perfect for soaking up the cider.

Cocktails at Die Rote Bar

On Mainkai street by the river, and not exactly easy to find, is speakeasy-style Die Rote Bar. Just look out for the red light at number seven and ring the bell. It has low-lit table lamps and bar stools, specialising in cocktails (from €8). I’d recommend the signature Hoffmann (rum, lime and ginger), named after a local doctor and psychiatrist, Heinrich Hoffmann, who in the 19th century wrote the grisliest children’s book ever, Shockheaded Peter, which was later translated into English by Mark Twain.
 7 Mainkai, rotebar.com

Summer evenings at the Yachtklub

Relaxing at a bar on the river Main, Frankfurt, Germany.
 Relaxing at one of the bars by the river Main. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo
In summer, the promenades and parks by the river are overflowing. The Yachtklub is a floating bar on the south bank of the river, close to the main youth hostel, that opens in April and serves reasonably priced cold beers and gin and tonics. Sometimes there’s a barbecue, sometimes live music, but you’ll always have a great time.
 12 Deutschherrnuferyachtklub.org

Drinking at farmers’ markets 

It’s a peculiarity of the city, but Frankfurters go to farmers’ markets for after-work drinking. You can buy a riesling from winery Rollanderhof, at Kleinmarkthalle(every day except Sun), Konstablerwache (Thurs and Sats), and Friedberger Platz(Fridays). Stalls also sell locally made apple wine, beer and fruit schnapps. Other excellent markets for sampling drinks include Erzeugermarkt Konstablerwache(Tues and Sat) and Schillerstraße (Fri).
 Guide to Frankfurt markets: frankfurt.de

Best for coffee

Cafe bar Hauptwache on Hauptwache square in the evening, Frankfurt , Germany.
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 Cafe bar Hauptwache on Hauptwache square. Photograph: Alamy
In Frankfurt, the best coffee isn’t necessarily served by bearded hipsters. There are two traditional coffee roasters, Wissmüller’s Stern Kaffee (39 Leipziger Str) in Bockenheim and Wacker’s (9 Kornmarkt and other locations) in the city centre between Hauptwache and St Paul’s Church. The latter is a small family business dating back to 1914 when Luise Wacker first opened her grocery shop just around the corner from where it is today. Now, the fourth generation is keeping the business alive, selling chocolate and serving fresh coffee to shoppers and workers. As soon as the sun comes out in spring, you will find people crowded at the tables and sitting on the stairs in front of the shop.


WHERE TO STAY

Hotel Nizza

Hotel Nizza, bedroom, Frankfurt, Germany
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 Photograph: PR
Locals call the small promenade along the river Nizza (Nice) because of the mild climate and the exotic plants like camellias that grow here. Right next to the river lies Hotel Nizza, built in 1993 for hosting actors and artists performing in the city. The style is somewhere between minimalist and eccentric, with some great antique furniture details, a pool and billiard room and a roof garden to relax. It may not be in the quietest part of town, but is in walking distance of the train station and the important museums.
 Doubles from €113 (room only), special weekend rates available, hotelnizza.de

The Pure

A balcony double room at The Pure hotel, Frankfurt, Germany.
 A balcony double room at The Pure
The Pure is, as the name suggests, a minimalist design hotel not far from the Bahnhofsviertel, the train station quarter with its sometimes seedy, sometimes chic bars and nightclubs. The German artist Stefan Strumbel, who deals with topics such as local folklore and kitsch, has given the hotel a few pieces to add to its allure.
 Doubles from €100 B&B, the-pure.de

Hotel Gerbermühle 

Restaurant at the Hotel Gerbermühle, Frankfurt, Germany.
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 Restaurant at the Hotel Gerbermühle. Photograph: Peter Porst
This small, elegant boutique hotel was originally a tannery before, in the 18th century, becoming a summer house for banker Johann Jakob Willemer, a close friend of the poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Among its selling points is its fine dining restaurant (mains from €19.50) that combines local food (beef tartare, wiener schnitzel with cranberries) with international classics (chicken in calvados sauce). It is on the river and has great views of the city skyline. It’s in Sachsenhausen, 3km from the centre, but easy to reach on a tram from the main station.
 Doubles from €130 (room only), gerbermuehle.de

Pension Aller

Pension Aller, Frankfurt, Germany.
Frau Kraus, the hostess who was born at these premises six decades ago, has redesigned a floor of her parent’s townhouse, adding several light-flooded guest rooms. It’s around the corner from the main station and has a kitchen and a little garden for guests.
 Doubles from €75 B&B, pension-aller.de

TG