Monday, 29 August 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

Intercontinental Brekkers

A stale bagel in a Midwest motel is a far cry from a flaky croissant at a Parisian cafe, but the sentiment is the same. The American continental breakfast imitates the traditional light morning meals common in mainland Europe—you know, “the continent”—where breakfast isn’t lauded as the most important meal of the day. (By some eaters' standards, it’s barely a meal at all.)
Take the traditional petit dejeuner in France: coffee, bread, maybe some fruit and yogurt. For hoteliers, the appeal of a light morning meal is clear: It’s cheap, easy to provide, and satisfactory to European tourists. But when the small meal first popped up in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, American diners were appalled. Harper’s Weekly demanded it be banished from the “hemisphere where the Monroe Doctrine and the pie should reign supreme.”

Sick Note or Not

After Donald Trump’s doctor took just five minutes to report that he’s the healthiest presidential candidate of all time, Donald Trump explained that his health status changes depending on what he’s being asked to do.
Dr Harold Bornstein wrote a letter explaining that Trump has “the best health, simply terrific health” and that he has “hands of above average size”.
Trump himself addressed the concerns that his medical report didn’t show the same issues found when he was a much younger man.
He explained, “As a 24-year-old, doctors checked me out and said I wasn’t fit to serve my country in Vietnam, but as a 70-year-old there’s never been anyone fitter to run for the White House. I’m in terrific shape.
“I don’t see what the issue is?
When pressed Trump admitted he does have one medical condition not included in his health report.
He went on, “They tell me I have what’s known as ‘Schrodinger’s Syndrome’ – which means I am both healthy and unhealthy – until I observe what it is I’m being asked to do.”
“Want me to travel halfway around the world and fight in the jungle in a war that killed 60,000 Americans? I think you’ll find I’m probably unfit for that.
“Want me to live in the White House and become the most powerful man in the world? I think you’ll find I’m perfectly fit for that.
“But of course, as I’m running for President I don’t actually have ‘Schrodinger’s Syndrome’ in my medical report – see how that works?”

Back in the Name

Long before Lorde, Adele, or even Cher, one name was all a person needed. In Britain before the Norman Conquest of 1066, people went by single names. If a village had an overabundance of Toms, one might be called Tom, John’s son, and another Tom the baker. But last names weren't inherited until Norman nobility introduced the practice, creating Tom Johnson and Tom Baker. It’s easy to guess what an ancestor of someone named Cook, Carpenter, or Smith did for a living. With other occupational surnames, though, either the word or the trade has become obsolete, so the meaning is hidden.


The name Barker doesn’t come from carnival barkers who yell, “Step right up!” or another Barker who shouted, “Come on down!” but from barkers, also called tanners, who converted hides into leather by steeping them in an infusion of astringent bark.


It may surprise some hipsters to learn that in Old English the “-ster” suffix was used to form feminine agent nouns. A man who baked was a baker; a woman who baked was a baxter. Later, baxter was used for either sex.


A woman brewer was a brewster.


A challender was a maker or seller of blankets, from Middle English chaloun, meaning blanket or coverlet.


A chandler was originally a maker or seller of candles. The term broadened to mean someone in charge of stocking candles for a large household, a dealer in household items, and, later, a dealer in supplies for a ship.


Chapman is an Old English word for merchant. The root “chap-“ is related to “cheap,” an obsolete verb meaning to barter, buy, and sell; to trade, deal, bargain.


Although the purported biography Flushed with Pride: The Story of Thomas Crapper is a satireand Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, he did run a plumbing company. His name is not theorigin of the word “crap,” however. The name Crapper is a variant of Cropper, one who harvests crops.


A dauber was a plasterer or someone who applied “daub”—clay or mud mixed with stubble or chaff—to make a “wattle and daub” cottage.


Fletcher comes from Old French flecher or flechier and means an arrow maker.


These two names come from Old French forbisseor, furbisher or polisher of armor. These days, we refurbish things without worrying about whether they were furbished in the first place.


A fuller, known in some regions as a walker or tucker, trampled on cloth in water to clean and thicken it.


Hussey was a shortening of “housewife” and did not have the negative denotation “hussy” does today.


Jenner comes from Old French engigneor, meaning engineer or maker of military machines.


W. K. Kellogg, a vegetarian who developed corn flakes as a healthful alternative to the traditional ham-and-egg breakfast, might be surprised to learn that his surname derived from “kill hog” and referred to a butcher.


A kisser didn’t osculate for a dollar at a carnival booth. He made leather armor for the thighs, called a cuisse, from Old French cuisse, “thigh.” Don Quixote’s name is also derived from the same piece of armor.


Perhaps from a misreading of the word “Latiner,” an interpreter was called a “latimer” in the 13th through 15th centuries.


Based on the state-of-the-art medical treatment of the day, in the Middle Ages, physicians were known as leeches.


A lorimer made bits, spurs, and metal mountings for horses’ bridles.


Those who had made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land wore a token representing a palm branch and were known as palmers.


In the Middle Ages, a parker was a gamekeeper in a game park.


From the Old French word poulain, colt, the name was given to those who were frisky or those who raised horses.


Most medieval readers were illiterate, but they knew how to use reeds to thatch roofs.


A spencer dispensed a lord’s provisions.


This name has nothing to do with saliva, but refers to someone who worked in a “spittle” (from Old French hospital), a charitable house for the indigent or diseased.


From the Middle English spoon, meaning splinter, this name was given to roofers.


From Old French travers, meaning the act of passing through a gate, crossing a river, bridge, etc.; travers meant a toll collector.


A wright was a builder or craftsman. There were once millwrights, tile-wrights and wheelwrights. Now the suffix survives only in playwright and the old-fashioned term shipwright. A wain or wayne was a cart or wagon. The names Wayne and Wainwright both refer to wagon builders.


These three names (Webster being the feminine form) all derive from Old English webba, weaver.


Strange as it may seem, both of these names refer to linen bleachers. Blacker comes frombleckester, meaning bleacher.


From the Old English words wudu, wood, and weard, guardian, a woodward was a forester.
Just think: if we took our surnames from present-day occupations, you might run across people like Max Coder, Tina Telemarketer, and Heather Houseflipper.

Well Said

Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.
Randy K MilhollandSomething Positive, 07-26-2012
Webcomic pioneer

No They're Not



Limelight, a 1952 Charlie Chaplin film, won an Oscar for Best Dramatic Score 21 years later. Since the movie had never been shown in Los Angeles, it was still eligible to enter the competition as a "new" picture in 1973.

Double Bubble Espresso

Senior management at Waitrose have confirmed that they are powerless to stop an enterprising Leigh On Sea resident from selling free Waitrose coffee outside of their store, and local police have confirmed that no laws are being broken due to a dispute over who is responsible for the pavement directly outside.
Michael Gratis, 28, has been taking advantage of the supermarket’s free coffee scheme on an industrial scale for the last month, and each hot drink is then sold for £4 on a decorator’s table that he has set up outside the main entrance of the London Road branch.
He is able to trade here without any restrictions as the ownership of the paved area is unclear – the paperwork has been lost between the Safeway, Morrisons, Somerfield and Waitrose head offices.
Mr Gratis started planning for his new business back in August, when he applied for ten MyWaitrose cards per day for two months solid. Once he had enough cards to get going, he was then able to obtain one free hot drink per day per card, and since word got around he has had customers queueing up around the block.
Jean-Pierre Artesian, one of his regular customers, spoke to us EXCLUSIVELY about why he loves getting his morning coffee from Mr Gratis.
He said, ‘I am aware that £4 is an awful lot of money to pay for a cup of coffee that is being obtained for free, but people should remember that he is running an operation that is entirely ethical.’
‘Also, it is possible that he is breaching the terms and conditions of the MyWaitrose customer loyalty scheme, and that makes it all so hipster that I am sure he could get anything up to £7 per cup.’
After the success of his first stall, Mr Gratis has indicated that he is considering a second table in the car park of the larger Waitrose in Southend. To avoid being moved on by local police, he plans to submit evidence to show that the land was originally taken by force from his Saxon ancestors.

The Art of the Laze- 4

Ingenious parenting. (Source)

The laziest way to get a six pack. (Source)

A soda — or in my case, beer — pipe. 

The Art of the Laze- 3

How a lazy (yet clever) person decorates for Christmas. (Source)

Smoking AND being sedentary will most certainly kill you. 

If you ever get tired of holding that tablet… (Source)

The Art of the Laze- 2

Because unpacking is too damn tiring. (Source)

Quit straining your neck while you read — with these lazy glasses, you can lie down on your bed and still be able to enjoy a good book or magazine. The specs have a prism, which lets you recline and look forward at the same time. (Source)

Do you really have to get out of the car? 

The Art of the Laze- 1

One clever homeowner wanted to beat the system and made his own self-driving lawnmower. How did he do it? He simply took his push mower and attached it to a pole with some string, which allows it to travel in circles without being pushed. The only issue with this ingenious rig is that the mower will just keep traveling around the same radius, so you would still have to move the pole and mower to different locations across the lawn. Still, if you are feeling very unmotivated or just don't have the energy to push a mower around for a few hours, this trick might just be for you.


UK-based Mick Carroll was passing through the town of Market Drayton when he spotted an unusual sight —  a man cruising down the canal with the help of a tiny remote-controlled tug boat.

Carroll took a picture and posted it to Facebook with the caption: “Don't ya just love eccentrics. Seen this fella as we were passin' thru Market Drayton gettin' pulled along by a remote control tug. Brilliant.” (Source)

Not only do you not have to expend the energy to haul yourself over the edge of the bed, but you also get a fun launch into the start of every day. (Source)


Not New Realy

England squad in full:

Goalkeepers: Fraser Forster (Southampton), Joe Hart (Manchester City), Tom Heaton (Burnley).
Defenders: Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Nathaniel Clyne (Liverpool), Phil Jagielka (Everton), Danny Rose (Tottenham Hotspur), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Chris Smalling (Manchester United), John Stones (Manchester City), Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur).
Midfielders: Dele Alli (Tottenham Hotspur), Michail Antonio (West Ham United), Eric Dier (Tottenham Hotspur), Danny Drinkwater (Leicester City), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Adam Lallana (Liverpool), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), Raheem Sterling (Manchester City), Theo Walcott (Arsenal).
Strikers: Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur), Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool), Jamie Vardy (Leicester City).

Big Whoop

From the BBC:

Rosberg took a comfortable win that seemed inevitable once it had become clear team-mate Lewis Hamilton would be dropped down the grid because of a series of engine penalties this weekend.  The Briton came back through the field to third from 21st on the grid and it was a remarkable achievement.
How funny that we see racing like this at the MotoGPs and WSBK almost every weekend and yet it doesn't even warrant a casual comment on the BBC website?

Good luck to F1 fans, I am glad you enjoy your sport but it does leave me bemused that a flash on the pan result such as described above warrants such fanfare.  We are used to this kind of stuff and that is why we follow proper racing.

I Have to Say

That while we have qualified for the Champion's League this season and will no doubt go out come the end of the qualifying stages, it is such a pleasure to see Tottenham play their Premiership games on a Saturday once more.

I hated having to wait until early Monday morning to find out their score and keep having to play catch up in the table.  No more Thursday games for us until next season- if we are unlucky enough to qualify for the Europa League.

After the Internationals


  • Man Utd12:30Man City
  • Arsenal15:00Southampton
  • Bournemouth15:00West Brom
  • Burnley15:00Hull
  • Middlesbrough15:00Crystal Palace
  • Stoke15:00Tottenham
  • West Ham15:00Watford
  • Liverpool17:30Leicester