Wednesday, 4 May 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

That's Your Lot

Not as much guff today, so thank your lucky starts I have to get going.  More of the same tomorrow.

Well Said

It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.
Dame Rose Macaulay
English novelist (1881 - 1958) 

Good Service

Just to remind wifey she had a dental appointment, the practice rang her last night to confirm.  Such a simple service and very courteous, so why can't everyone do this?


In 1983, a tiny fleck of paint off an earlier spacecraft hit the wind shield of the orbiting space shuttle Challenger at 20 000 mph, causing a crater to form in the glass.

Down to the End

Leicester are now champions and rightly so.  Well deserved, delighted for them and not in the least bit unhappy my Spurs didn't take them to the wire.

However, it's not all over for the also rans as we still have to get past the gate and it looks like The Arse can still haunt us.  Lying a mere three points behind us, we still need one more win to finally finish above them but it is looking increasingly more difficult.

If we can beat Southampton and it is a huge IF, we are there.  If not, we face wifey's side on the final day and both sides have plenty to play for.  Newcastle could avoid relegation and we could finish second, our best place since I can't remember when.

My ideal situation would be for The Arse to lose their game against Man City on Sunday and it's game over.  If they win, they will easily get another three points in their final match against Villa.

Anyone recall I said we would not win another game this season?  It's looking grim already.  :-(

Just Get It and Enjoy

Best for Kodi

Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon

UK Turk Playlists is one of the best Kodi Add-ons available and is run and maintained by a very good friend of mine. Follow this guide to Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon.

Boom UK Turks is back after putting his feet up for the last 10 days it should update to version 3.0 if yours is not showing an update available press C or menu button on MettleKettle repo and select check for updates it then should update on your device.
Screenshot 2016-04-28 22.28.38

Screenshot 2016-04-28 22.28.51
It has a lot of content for classic TV, Films, Stand Up, documentaries and a great array of Live Streams and Live Sports including 3pm Kick offs. He is always updating  his add-on and spends his life on twitter talking with his users in between our Food wars photos. why not follow him on Twitter to keep up to date on the latest going ons in Turks World.

UK Turk has recently done a fantastic job with upgrading the whole look and feel. It looks great, with loads of great content.
Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon

Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon

As you can see the amount of content is insane.
Live TV.
Live Sports.
TV Shows.
Stand-Up Comedy.
Turkish TV and Movies.

All we are waiting for now is a food porn section. Please make it happen!

Basically if you want it. UK Turk will have it. If you don’t have it. Why Not.

Follow the instructions below to Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon.

How to Install UK Turk Playlists Kodi Addon
  • Open Kodi
  • Select SYSTEM > File Manager
  • Select Add Source
  • Select None
  • Type the following EXACTLY and select Done
  • Highlight the box underneath Enter a name for this media Source (Let’s use Metal Kettle)
  • Select OK
  • Go back to your Home Screen
  • Select SYSTEM
  • Select Add-Ons
  • Select Install from Zip File
  • Select Metal Kettle or whatever you named the repo
  • Select
  • Wait for Add-on enabled notification
  • Select Get Add-Ons or Install from Repository
  • Select MetalKettles Addon Repository
  • Select Video Add-ons
  • Select UK Turk
  • Select Install
  • Wait for Add-on enabled notification

UK Turk Playlists is now installed and you can start watching.

UK Turks Playlists

Brilliant news, he's back and it's never been better before.

Update April 28th
Back online for your viewing pleasure.
After installing you may only see Search and Favourites. This will eventually change. UK Turk tweeted "The addon shud eventually come back to ur system its cos it has to catch itself up with cache of the servers & look 4 my tweet on my updates"
Updates that have been doen during the downtime can be viewed here


Slow file transfers.

Viz Bits

Screen Shot 2016-02-19 at 17.42.14

T of the Day


Our water bill was less than we expected and we can only put this down to the swimming pool becoming operational again.

Our average is around THB 75 but while the pool was being refurbished, it went up to THB 125.  Yesterday it was THB 90, still well under two quid for the entire month.

Drip Drip

Lounging around in bed and watching telly with the air con on at full chat.  Next minute we hear the unit dripping water very close to where the laptop is situated.  Panic.

It's happened before and so we called in the technician but this time we had another chap come to take a look and he did a right thorough job.

He took the assembly part, drained and cleaned it all up, sucked up gunk with his special vacuum cleaner and put it all back together without any fuss.

He was chuffed at this tip, we were equally happy to staunch the water flow and I have to say, the room has never been cooler.  Our air con system is like new again.

Busy, Busy

Fresh bedding day so time to get the bedclothes washed.  Also run out of fresh soup which I'll need to prepare later.  Bank run is also due and a visit to the Bureau de Change to buy some USD for our trip to Siem Reap.  Wifey has to have another session at the dentist for her crown and we plan to go for a swim as we have been lazy over the bank holiday weekend.

All go, innit?

Outraged I Tell You

A 52-year-old female Facebook user from Leigh On Sea has admitted that she ‘doesn’t get’ Southend News Network’s articles, and in a shocking development she has still decided that she is ‘outraged’ to the point where she feels that the entire SNN team will be going ‘straight to hell.’ In another shocking twist, she has also declared a fatwa against anyone who shares one of their links*.
Felicity Mifft said: ‘I just don’t get Southend News Network. Are the stories real? Are they made up? I am very confused as the title has the word ‘news’ in it but the site also says that Bungle is dead and also that Southend Pier has been sold to the Chinese. I don’t understand what is going on and it all rather upsets me somewhat. To make matters worse, other people seem to be reading their articles and then sharing them with their contacts, and I fear that something may happen that I just cannot put my finger on. It will either end well or badly, one of the two.’
Ms Mifft added: ‘All I do know is that I hate everything that the Southend News Networking site is about, and especially the bits that mock me in a way that I cannot even begin to comprehend. They should all go to hell, with everyone who shares their content condemned to burn for all eternity so that the Internet can once again be filled with essays about needlecraft and marmalade. I need to self-medicate every time their rubbish pops up on the Face Book.’

*Screwed then.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

Old as the Hills

A 2,000-year-old stone tablet located in central Turkey is inscribed with the rules of ancient horse racing, it's reported.
The tablet forms part of the Lukuyanus monument, which was built for a Roman jockey in what is now Turkey's Konya province, the Daily Sabah news website reports.
Analysis of the writing on the tablet, which is in the ruins of an ancient stadium, suggests that there was a keen sense of fairness in the sport, one historian tells Anadolu Agency. "It says that if a horse comes in first place in a race it cannot participate in other races," says Prof Hasan Bahar from Selcuk University.
A winning owner was also forbidden from entering any other horses into an event's subsequent races, apparently to give others a chance at glory, he says. "This was a beautiful rule, showing that unlike races in the modern world, races back then were based on gentlemanly conduct," he's quoted as saying.
Prof Bahar tells Anadolu that while other tablets make reference to horse racing, this one is the oldest he knows of describing the rules of the sport.


Both Then

Mary Jean asked about the past tense of the verb shine: Is it shined or shone?
The frustrating answer is that it can be either shined or shone, but some sources recommend using shined when the verb has an object and shone when the verb doesn’t have an object.
Here are examples with objects:
Aardvark shined the light in Squiggly's eyes. (The light is the object of the verb shined. It is the thing being shined by Aardvark.)
Aardvark shined his shoes. (This time, shined means “polished,” but the verb still has an object: his shoes.)
Here’s an example without an object:
The moon shone brightly. (The moon is just shining; the verb shone has no object.)
The verb shine has two acceptable past-tense forms. The best choice is usually shone when the verb is "alone."
The rhyme It's shone when alone will help you remember to use shone when the verb is alone (i.e., when the verb has no object). Of course, that memory trick is most helpful in the United States, where the verb is pronounced “shown.” It’s less helpful in the UK, where the verb is often pronounced “shon.” Thanks to The Word Hawk for reminding me of the difference.
This distinction between shined and shone isn’t a hard-and-fast rule; it’s more like a suggestion, but if you aren’t sure which verb to use, it’s a good suggestion to take.


Sanyo’s name means "three oceans" in Japanese.  The company’s founder wanted to sell his wares across the Indian, Atlantic, and Pacific oceans.

How About That?


We're not quite sure what's going on with the Eurovision Song Contest.
Ahead of the semi-finals, set to take place on 10 May in Stockholm, Sweden, the European Broadcast Union (EBU) unintentionally published a list of "banned" flags, and while there were some obvious ones – such as the flag of Isis – others were far less contentious.
The following flags are examples of flags that are specifically not allowed at the Eurovision Song Contest. This list is non-exhaustive:

Among them are the flags of Palestine, Kosovo, and Crimea.

Saeb Erekat, a senior Palestinian official said in a statement to Euronews:
We call upon Jean-Paul Philippot [EBU president] to revoke his decision immediately and to apologise to the 11 million Palestinians of this grave, unacceptable, despicable mistake.
In an official statement, EBU wrote:
On Thursday afternoon, a draft version of the flag policy for the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest was published... This document was not intended to be published.
The organisers understand and acknowledge the sensitivities of presenting a selection of flags of organisations and territories, each of them of very different nature. The organisers apologise to everyone who feels offended by the list.
Eurovision rules state only flags of the 42 participating countries, national flags of any United Nations member state and the flag of the EU is allowed to fly.
However the following are strictly banned:
All other flags/banners, including those that do not meet the approved specifications, or contain a commercial message, or a statement that the organisers considers of offensive, discriminatory, unsuitable, political or religious...
According to WalesOnline, the Welsh flag was also on the now-removed banned list, despite the fact that contestant Joe Woolford, of this year's UK’s entry Joe and Jake, is of Welsh descent.
The Scottish Saltire is an approved flag, even though it isn't the national flag of a participating country.
The LGBTQ rainbow flag is not on the banned list as it is a "symbol of tolerance and diversity."
But what about waving the rainbow flag during Russia’s performance, which would be considered a political statement given the country's crackdown on homosexuality?
A spokesperson told PinkNews:
This is decided on a case by case basis.
Oh, right. Well that explains it then.
NullPicture: Nikolay Doychinov/Getty Images

Juxtaposed- 3

Damien Hypolite

Damien Hypolite
Then & Now-style photo series' are anything but uncommon, but what if the “then” you want to compare to “now” happened before the invention of photography? You would think that would be a dealbreaker, but one computer graphics manager and gaming enthusiast found a way around this issue.

For his "Then & Now" series, Damien Hypolite printed out screenshots from the game Assassin's Creed Unity—which is based during the French Revolution—and then held them up against modern-day Paris. (Source)

Maksim Zavialov

Maksim Zavialov
Instagram user Maksim Zavialov takes pictures of pictures in an interesting juxtaposition of techniques. The resident of Khabarovsk, Russia, first captures a scene with Polaroid film and then holds up the exposure to snap an iPhone photo of the print surrounded by the real-life scene.

His careful positioning of the print within the iPhone frame creates an offbeat sense of depth, almost as if the viewer is looking at the scene through a telescope. Zavialov chose to chronicle his series through his Instagram account @mzavialov using the hashtag #timethroughphoto, a nod to his interest in capturing themes of time and place. “Even in the same place, something new is always happening,” says Zavialov. (Source)

Juxtaposed- 2

Bob Egan

Bob Egan
Bob Egan of has an interesting hobby. He finds the real-world locations of famous album covers, fastidiously matches the distance and angle, and then superimposes the original onto a photo of a present-day location. (Source)

52nd Street by Billy Joel was released on October 13, 1978 by Columbia Records/CBS Inc. Cover photo by Jim Houghton. (Source)

Christopher Moloney

Christopher Moloney
Canadian photographer and film geek Christopher Moloney hunts down real life locations of iconic movie scenes in his on-going “FILMography” project. 

By traveling to cities like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Rome, Naples, and others, Moloney successfully found locations from blockbusters like Home AloneAnnie Hall, and Breakfast At Tiffany's. (Source)

Juxtaposing scenes with real locations, Moloney brings our beloved flicks closer to us and our world. His impressive photos can often be found on display in many galleries and in film festivals around the world. (Source)

Francois Dourlen

Francois Dourlen
Just when you thought we had worked out everything that could be done with an iPhone, an amateur artist has created a series of hilarious images juxtaposing iconic film scenes into everyday locations all over the world.

A history teacher, Francois Dourlen, from Cherbourg, France, has used pop culture stills—from cult movies and TV favorites like The Simpsons and Baywatch , to new movies like Minions—to bring this unique artwork to life. (Source)

Juxtaposed- 1

Michael Hughes

Michael Hughes
Yellow Cab model car, Times Square, New York, USA 2008.
Photographer and tourist Michael Hughes created a cool optical illusion series using souvenirs. (Source)

Pen holder at the pyramids of Gizeh, Cairo, Egypt.
Michael inserts the cheap trinkets in his shots to break away from a picture perfect postcard. This results in memorable, hilarious photos. His running photo series is called "Souvenirs."

Foam plastic Eifel Tower kit, Paris, France 2001.
“My images are fun because I really like to play with them,” Michael explains. “I'm always up for a joke!” (Source)

Nicky Sullivan

Nicky Sullivan
Esquire's fashion director Nick Sullivan has an eye for immaculate settings when it comes to "overlapping" different time periods. The photographer's penchant for showcasing our past through our present, is quite evident from this series of images. (Source)

The black-and-white photos of Bob Dylan, Cary Grant The Beatles and Muhammad Ali do harken back to the "colorful" side of mankind. The mashed up images preserve those unique parcels of history, with the aid of our current surroundings and environments. (Source)

Richard McCor

Richard McCor
Londoner Rich McCor has turned the London Eye into a bicycle, Big Ben into a watch and Arc De Triomphe into a Lego Man. The 28-year-old, who works for a creative agency, does it all with nothing more than paper and a pair of scissors. Using just intricately-designed cut outs, this innovative artist has impressively transformed some familiar sights into his own celebrated brand of quirky artwork.

Inspired by the film Up, this particular cutout of a house looks as though it's being transported by balloons over Covent Garden. (Source)

Arc de Triomphe, Paris. (Source)


School Holidays

Parents are forced to comply with laws that prevent them from taking their kids on holiday outside of term time.  The reason given is that any lesson is too precious and to miss even one class can cause irreparable damage to the child's education.


That being so, how come teachers can make children who misbehave stand outside their classroom for the lesson?  Sounds like not just hypocrisy but also good grounds to sue...

Want One

The IT Crowd made that quintessential tech support response “have you tried turning it off and on again?” into a running gag, but restarting is as close to a panacea for basic technology woes as we have—so much so that you can now buy a gadget to do it for you.

The $60 ResetPlug (spotted by The Verge) is a smart plug that will restart your WiFi router and modem when your connection inevitably goes on the fritz. The gadget constantly tests your WiFi and when it’s unresponsive, resets the power every five minutes until the connection comes back.
Now the question becomes: What do you do when your ResetPlug fails? Can you restart the restarter?

Keep Trying

A local couple’s attempt to spice up their sex life has not been as successful as might be hoped.
The experiment to bring a bit of kink to their love life began when local man Simon Williams asked his wife to act like a schoolgirl, at which point she smoked twenty cigarettes and swore at him, which neither found particularly erotic.
The couple decided to persevere with Simon treating his wife, Simone, as if she had been ‘very naughty indeed’.
However, after almost two hours sitting on the bottom step thinking about what she’d done, Simone failed to report any sort of arousal.
Deciding to add some roleplaying to their bedroom romps, Simon purchased every single Dungeons and Dragons book but the experiment failed when his character was slain by a dark elf before reaching the third level.
The couple declined to comment on rumours that Simon had requested Simone ‘act like a cat’, but then discovered that the gift of a dead mouse and someone unexpectedly crapping in his shoe was actually the single most unerotic experience of either of their lives.
“I just don’t get how people get off on this stuff,” Simon told us.
“But we’ve agreed to give it one last try.”
Simone has asked me to act like a policeman, so I’m going to kill ninety-six people at a football stadium.”
“If that doesn’t get her going we may as well give up.”

Well Said

If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If you fail even after these attempts, perhaps your just stupid.
Devin J Monroe